The animation
The animation was well... cruddy. The scene repeated constantly and the characters especially the kid were well looked like pieces of cardboard in a continus motion. The artwork i admit was good but the actual animation was cruddy. Plus the music had points where it was no longer heard and basicly left me reading a story that moved at a slow clip.
And the music was kinda annoying.
i hate it.
first war then baby sister and dad the war was going on how did they not die then the mom it just was bad.
I started going to school...
...And then came the COMMUNISTS!!!
ok but...
i liked it it brought tears to my eyes seriously its not a expression. some parts like when the mom was writing in the sand reminded me abt dis chinese story bout dis mom who bout a small woden box and pured sand into it and she tought her son how to write......i gave the ghraphics 3 cuz well sometimes when theyre cryin they have a smiling face u shld work on how you draw your mouth if u can work on thet it will be perfect! oh and the other cartoon abt dis guy and gal also brought tears to my eyes when someone is able to do that in a cartoon then it means the cartoon is very good.....keep up the good work dude!
Well... Where to start?
I watched it twice, wrote down about 15 mistakes, and these were the ones that I thought had the most impact on the story. It just wasn't right, man.
-When the mother and the little boy were being transported, it appeared as though the mother's kiss to the little boy was more mouth to mouth, like they were making out. It wasn't really that great of an animation.
-When the boy is having his little spurt of anger, the dialogue is something like this: "At that moment, I became really angry at my mother, and said, 'We will.'" For a spurt of anger, all the little guy can say is "We will"? Sorry man, just didn't work out.
-The little boy is talking in narration and he says "...hear was your voice". So, he heard OUR voice?
-They're homes are bombed, they loose their father/husband and son/brother, and yet they are suddenly "the happiest people on earth"? Better choice of words, man, that just did NOT fit the story.
-Last but DEFINITLY not least, if your going to tell a story with a flash, at least use proper grammar. It made me CRY that you had so many grammatical errors. A man of your flash talent should at least check over his work when he's done, because there was at least 20 times you forgot to capitalize the first letter of a sentance.
Now that I've finished that, it seems theres so much to go on about. If you had sound in your animation, there would not have been reason to have to stare at the bottom of the picture the entire time, reading the story like a picture book. Also, why the same song all the way through? And why such a delay between sequences where the song was playing?
This just didn't really cut it for me. You had an absolutely beautiful animation going on, and then you chop it up with bad grammar and a dialogue that could've used some work. Also, the whole thing was just to... Unreal, for my taste.
One last thing: I bet a lot of people are going to read this and think "Fuck you, this was amazing," but it wasn't amazing to me. And a note to Infernix: If Newgrounds doesn't need soppy Chinese stories, then what DOES it need?
Work harder, dude.
~Trix