At 8/26/10 10:28 PM, bgraybr wrote:
Have any of the other bisexual people here ever felt like they can never be attractive to the opposite sex, because they aren't masculine/feminine enough?
In a word: Yes.
I'm a boy, and I've not exactly feminine, but I'm small and kind of quiet. I think that girls want a boy that they think can "defend" them. Yesterday, in school, there was this guy in my gym class- for some reason he decided to show off by flexing in front of some girl. He was going completely over the top, rubbing his arms, rolling his sleeves up and down over and over again, stretching in a weird exaggerated way. The weirdest thing was that he's not in great shape, he has muscle but I have bigger arms than him and stuff. Surprisingly (to me) some of the girls seemed to be pretty impressed by it. Maybe girls are impressed just by guys that show off more, regardless of whether or not they have much to show off? They're probably attracted to confidence, but I act confident, I'm not exactly shy.
I'm guessing you're Asian and American (if I'm wrong and you live in an Asian country then this point is destroyed) ? I'll be honest and tell you this is a cultural thing. Far-Eastern Asians are well known for being shy while other ethnicities tend to be more masculine and loud, with African-descents being the most loudest and masculine (I can tell I'll be shot for this). This doesn't mean you're worse or better, but rather different. I'm sure you'll find a girl, or guy, even though you're shy. Don't worry about the whole demand to be masculine, I'm pretty feminine and I have a girlfriend currently.
I don't think that I could ever fill that role. I want either an equal relationship, or one where I'm the one being protected and adored. I hate being around girls that are overly feminine and needy.
Same here, totally, weird how I got a girlfriend who is pushing me gently to be masculine. I mean, I'd prefer an equal relationship or one where I'm submissive, but eh, the way things go.
I've asked some of my close friends about it, and most of the girls say that I'm a lot of fun to be around and they love being friends and they think that I'm physically attractive, but that I just don't have the personality of someone that they would want to be with.
Eh, different girls want different things. Some want to party hard, some want a cuddly guy who is sweet. Give it a few years and you'll find someone, especially if you're successful and have a good job.
So I just don't know, maybe its just my imagination, in the back of my head I keep thinking "how could a girl ever find me attractive? I'm attracted to other men.".
Honestly, same here. I actually got dumped by my ex for liking guys which led to a whole "...Am I gay?" thing, especially since I preferred submission. However, I met a girl in a gay/bi chatroom on DeviantART and now we're dating. It's really strange to be fair. Don't worry though, things will work out in bizarre ways. If you want to chat at all, feel free to PM me, I'm happy to listen by the way.