At 6/30/07 03:47 PM, BlackmarketKraig wrote: ..::Simpsons Movie Flash Site::..

Really professional looking Flash site where you can create a Simpsonized version of you. How would you look in Springfield?

That was kind of fun.

Simpsoniation!

heh, something like this

RE: Sonx's birthday

Just sets the perfect stage for his family to walk into the suicide scene, doesn't it?

...
But seriously, happy birthday man. If you lived up here, you could have been getting drunk legally for the last two years already.

His real birthday is in February, today is his death-day aniversary.

I love the site :)

At 6/30/07 04:31 PM, atomic-noodle wrote: I love the site :)

Me too. :D

I;m a noob ( sometimes)

How did you guys take such good screen shots?? (digital camera???)

At 6/30/07 04:38 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:31 PM, atomic-noodle wrote: I love the site :)

Me too. :D

I;m a noob ( sometimes)

How did you guys take such good screen shots?? (digital camera???)

lol, if your not joking; its the button to the right of f12.

At 6/30/07 04:30 PM, PinkSkull wrote:
His real birthday is in February, today is his death-day aniversary.

Haha, yeah, I just learned that. Oops. =P I guess General isn't the best place for accurate information...

You're welcome for fixing the mod situation. Geeeezuh.

At 6/30/07 04:39 PM, crushy wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:38 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

lol, if your not joking; its the button to the right of f12.

That dosent work on my laptop...... help

At 6/30/07 04:48 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:39 PM, crushy wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:38 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

lol, if your not joking; its the button to the right of f12.

That dosent work on my laptop...... help

After you've pressed the button, you need to open up paint and press CTRL+V.

At 6/30/07 04:48 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:39 PM, crushy wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:38 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

lol, if your not joking; its the button to the right of f12.

That dosent work on my laptop...... help

the name of the keyis PrintScre [print screen]. After you press copy paste into photoshop, crop it so it'll fit in the bbs, save as .jpg, post it here :)

picture by aol

At 6/30/07 04:42 PM, NegativeONE wrote: You're welcome for fixing the mod situation. Geeeezuh.

A good deed is it's own reward and all that!

Also, thanks! <3

ITS NOT working AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH ....HELP!!

At 6/30/07 04:42 PM, NegativeONE wrote: You're welcome for fixing the mod situation. Geeeezuh.

Thank you, Neg. I'm sure everyone is grateful.

At 6/30/07 04:48 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:39 PM, crushy wrote:

At 6/30/07 04:38 PM, Pezboy440 wrote:

lol, if your not joking; its the button to the right of f12.

That dosent work on my laptop...... help

Press Funtion (fn most likely) and print screen (either insert or prt sc) That should work. The go to paint, right click and hit paste.

Skype
Does anyone have skype? Its ghey that you have to pay to call landlines/cells but for now you its still free to call computers. My account thing is atomic-noodle.

At 6/30/07 05:21 PM, Buzzwerd wrote: Press Funtion (fn most likely) and print screen (either insert or prt sc) That should work. The go to paint, right click and hit paste.

I love you......... ( and no thats not gay)

I hope I'm not too late in joining the Simpsons fun! :)

STORY TIME!!!

I'm not totally sober at the time of writing this, so it may well not be up to my usual awesomeness...

Paranoia presents

for the Newgrounds BBS

his third BBS story

featuring many Newgrounds personalities

dedicated to the memory of the much loved Lord Sonx

who sadly took his own life today

FEATURING PERFORMANCES FROM

Tom Fulp

Luis

Skaijo

and more

as

Themselves

a tale of treachery, intrigue and extremism

The story of the great patriotic Newgrounds conspiracy

or

Why Sonx wasn't modded

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

TICK.

TICK.

TICK.

How long had he been here?

Tom Fulp tried to think clearly, which was difficult given the circumstances. Had those bastards blinded him? He was blind! A quick, panicky shake of the head lead Tom Fulp to the conclusion that he, in fact, simply had a plastic bag over his head. Tom Fulp calmed down with the realisation that he still had his eyes intact.

Tom Fulp snapped out of this sense of relief quickly. He had a plastic bag over his head! He was suffocating! He struggled to lift his arms, only to find that they were tied together behind him. Tom Fulp let out the manliest scream he could in the situation. He was dying! Some bastard had killed him! They'd tied him up, tied a bag over his head and left him for dead!

Okay! The important thing was not to panic. Panic took up precious oxygen. He needed to conserve his air supply. Somebody would be along soon! They had to be! Either to rescue, or...

The clock had stopped.

The clock had stopped? That was silly. Why would the clock stop just as he was suffocating to death? It was the carbon dioxide - it had to be! It had gotten into his blood and knocked out his hearing. Damn! How long could he have left? Five minutes? Two? One? Maybe he was already dead. Maybe this was what being dead felt like.

Fuck! He couldn't avoid panicking. That was stupid! He had - to - get - out! The chair was digging into his back, the ropes rubbed against his wrists, the lack of oxygen was doing strange things inside his head. In desperation he thrashed about, moving from side to side; back and forth. He kicked at the chair legs; the floor; the air; whoever might be standing in front of him. He tried to stand, only to be pulled back into the chair by ropes around his waist. He had to escape! Somebody had to help him! He had to get out! Then -

Light. And oxygen. Glorious oxygen! Tom Fulp took in deep breath after deep breath, forcing the fresh air into his body. He was alive! The light stung his eyes, and he turned to the floor, unable to get a clear view of whoever had removed the bag from around his head.

Seconds past. After his sight became easier, Tom Fulp managed to move his head to get a better view of his surroundings. The bag was on the floor - some sort of black bin liner. In front of him stood a man, casually resetting the clock as if oblivious to the presence of the half dead website administrator forced into a seat in front of him. His head was right in front of the light. It took a few attempts for Tom Fulp to gain a clear view of his face. And then, just as he recognised who his captor was, the man spoke.

"Evening, Mr Fulp."

Was it evening? Tom Fulp had now way of knowing. The last thing he remembered was a typical night of drunken partying, and now having just awoken from unconsciousness. He could well have been out for less than a few hours, or as many as a few days. Maybe longer. Who was to say how long he had been drifting in and out of conciousness? He certainly didn't feel himself - unfamiliar thoughts presented themselves, and he felt like he was doing every drug he'd ever taken throughout his life at once. It could have been weeks. In that case, the 'evening' comment could well be accurate.

The man had been silent for some time now, and Tom Fulp realised that he was waiting for some confirmation that he had his attention. He was about Tom Fulp's height, unshaven and in a red shirt and blazer. If Tom Fulp didn't know better, he'd have taken him for a Mexican drug dealer. But Tom Fulp did know better. This man was definitely not Mexican.

"Luis? What's going on?"

The man smiled gently, then moved his face up against Tom Fulp's. Underneath the manly stubble was skin as smooth as a baby's. Gently, he moved towards Tom Fulp's left ear, licked it gently, then began to speak.

"Good! You're up! Time for today's lesson!"

Tom blinked a few times. Luis' voice was confident and energetic, though this could have just been in contrast with Tom Fulp's own weak condition, and he had moved along the room as he spoke.

"Lesson? Luis, what-"

"Now now, Mr Fulp, no time to waste! The date is December the Seventh, the year 2006. As you may recall, you've been in our care for quite some time. We've been educating you!"

Tom Fulp responded weakly to this revelation:

"The seventh? But it's... October..."

Luis gave another small smile.

"My my, this isn't one of your better days, is it? I though we overdid it with your injections. And Kirk assured me that he knew some medical students. Tut tut. I shall have a word with him later."

Kirk? His drinking buddy? Tom Fulp struggled to absorb what was occuring, all the while Luis continued to speak.

"However, as I mentioned earlier; time is not ours to squander away! There are three points of discussion which it is necessary to drill into your handsome little gulliver today, and I shall proceed to embark upon them."

Tom Fulp blinked again.

"The first, Mr Fulp, is your marital status. Now, as you may be aware, your state is not ideal for a head of state. There have been rumours, I regret to tell you! Rumours and cock jokes galore!"

Another blink. Luis was fading in and out of focus disorientingly, and lights became brighter and darker. Tom Fulp couldn't help but listen, and all the while what Luis was saying seemed to make so much sense.

No! It was the drugs talking! Luis was trying to manipulate him. Tom Fulp must resist!

"Fortunately, we have already come to an arrangement! As it happens, your continued state of inebriation and lack of time around the office is something of an advantage for us. Congratulations, Mr Fulp! You are engaged! And have been for quite some time. To one of our own agents, no less."

This didn't make sense. Tom Fulp couldn't be engaged. Apart from the whole issue of not even being sure that he wasn't gay, Tom Fulp couldn't remember anything about proposing or anything of the sort.

"You may be wonderring how this could occur, Mr Fulp, but no worries! We have sorted out all of the fine print. Even your staff are convinced that you are very much in love."

Staff? How? Tom Fulp's vision suddenly became very blurry. He wanted to throw up, but wasn't even sure that he had anything to throw up, and didn't want to risk bringing out any internal organs. But then... Tom Fulp hardly checked his own Front Page posts, and between his drinking and talk of a civil partnership with Denvish he'd hardly have been around the office. Could somebody have really inserted themselves into his life so deeply?

To be continued...

A Newgrounds Story Part [2]

or

of Leadership

Luis had stopped talking. He was regarding him curiously.

"You really don't remember much, do you? I knew I should have asked Kraig to drug you instead. He was always reliable. Well, let me summarise what should already have been drilled into your head over the last month. We are a collective, Mr Fulp. You shall not, at this point, be informed of how many of us there are, or how much we have achieved, but know this; our resources are sufficient. We love Newgrounds, Mr Fulp. We want to see Newgrounds prosper. And we want it to be according to your wishes. Even if we have to alter what they are."

Luis smiled and came closer, placing on a pair of reading glasses as he stared into Tom Fulp's eyes.

"Just remember this, Mr Fulp"

Closer still.

"We own you."

Luis paced the room. He was throwing the clock into the air and catching it, apparently having borne no real intention of resetting it to the correct time.

"So, Mr Fulp, it remains for us to move onto the second of our three lines of discussion."

Tom Fulp's head still woozed. What could it be?

"The problem would be your attitude."

Tom Fulp swayed. Luis continued.

"Newgrounds, as you probably aren't aware, is in need of strong leadership. Your current attitude to leadership, I'm afraid, is not sufficient."

Tom Fulp was surprised by this comment. He answered weakly:

"Why is my attitude not sufficient?"

What happened next surprised Tom Fulp. For the first time in their encounter, Luis raised his voice, and shouted directly towards him.

"Because you are not prepared to fight!"

Luis backed down slightly, and began to lean against the counter at the back of the room. He placed the clock on it. As Tom Fulp looked closer, he noticed an array of syringes and pill containers lined across the surface.

"Newgrounds is in need of a strong attitude, Mr Fulp. We are under attack; left, right and centre. We need a leader who is ready to take action against the eBaums and copycats out there. And that person is not you! Are you aware that at this very moment our trusted ally Mr McNeely is preparing to launch a duplicate of Newgrounds to completely overtake us?"

This again surprised Tom Fulp. He could do little but blink.

"Now, Mr Fulp, fortunately we have agents at this moment preparing to expose the bastard in a manner which should cause maximum humiliation, but such action should be taken up by yourself. Subtle espionage and manipulation when appropriate; head on attacks when not."

Tom Fulp blinked again. Where was the point in arguing?

"I can... do that. I can be strong."

Luis smiled.

"No, Mr Fulp. You can't. You can't because you don't love Newgrounds"

Tom Fulp blinked another time.

"I do. I mean... I can... I mean..."

"You don't, Mr Fulp. I have no doubt that you care for the users and the developers, but not the concept itself."

Tom Fulp shook his head.

"So... what's the difference? Newgrounds is it's users. They're what matter."

"No, Mr Fulp. The site is what matters. The users? A bunch of cunts. Fucking thirteen year old spammers and assholes. You see what they do, Mr Fulp. You see how they turn into shit everything they touch. They aren't worth fighting for. Only the site is worth fighting for."

To be continued...

A Newgrounds Story : The Final Chapter

or

The Treachery of Lort Sonx

Tom Fulp leaned forward to try and force some blood to remain in his brain. All this resulted in was even more distortion of his vision, so he tilted back into the chair and resumed eye contact with Luis.

"So what, Luis? You going to kill me? Replace me with someone who can do what you want? Is that your fucking plan?"

Luis gave a slight laugh.

"Kill you, Mr Fulp? No, nothing so extreme. What we intend to do is educate you."

He stood up from the counter.

"Whether you like it or not."

Luis gave a twirl, satisfied with himself.

"So, Mr Fulp, shall we move on to the third point of discussion?"

Tom Fulp squinted his eyes, trying to bring Luis back into focus.

"There is, of course, the matter of Lord Sonx."

Tom Fulp snapped back into alertness.

"Lord Sonx? Yes! I'm going to make him a moderator"

Luis shook his head, smiling.

"No, Mr Fulp. Frankly, Lord Sonx will be lucky to survive a year."

Tom Fulp stared blankly.

"You see, Mr Fulp; Lord Sonx is entirely unsuitable to be a moderator. He isn't ambitious enough. He refuses to take bribes. And above all... he asks too many questions."

Luis looked towards Tom Fulp as if expecting a response. He received none, so continued speaking:

"So, Mr Fulp, you see we cannot allow Lord Sonx to become a mod. He has the potential to destroy everything our organisation has worked for. So; this is how it's going to play out. You have already kindly made our brother jmtb02 a mode. In the next seven months you will declare brother Kirk_Cocaine and brother Kraig to be the new mods. Lord Sonx, devastated by his own lack of recognition, will be easy to manoeuvre around with our brothers in high positions of regness, and a suicide will be faked in order to remove him. And you will support every part of this."

At this point Tom Fulp lost all control. He shook violently in his chair, pulling at his restraints; cutting his hands against the ropes holding them together; even pulling some of the nails around the chair legs loose.

"You bastard! You total wanking fuck melon! You fucking sucking merkin! Fuck you! I can take the arranged marriage, yeah; even trying to force me to start an intercyberlactic war, but fuck! There is no way you are making me betray somebody as deserving as Lord Sonx! He is going to be a mod! He deserves more than anyone to be a mod! Under him I had planned a golden age of tolerence and enlightenment in the BBS. Fuck you for suggesting that!"

Luis smiled again.

"But you will, Mr Fulp. We have already established that. You are going to to exactly what we tell you to. And you are going to do it whether you like it or not."

At this point the door opened. And attractive Korean walked in, taking her seat directly in front of Tom Fulp. Luis turned towards the door.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this, but you have been rather uncooperative during today's lesson. You will tell me when you're finished, won't you Skaijo?"

At this, he handed the clock to Skaijo and walked towards the door. She waited patiently for it to click shut and the footsteps to die away, then placed her finger on one of the switched on its back and spoke to Tom Fulp.

"Alright Tom. I want you to think about something very peaceful. Once this clock begins to tick, you are going to fall asleep, all the while listening to me. Are you ready?"

Tick.

THE EPILOGUE

As Tom Fulp sat in his office, observing the beautiful June day and celebraing his recent mod appointments, he couldn't help but think back to how misguided he had been back what must have been close to a year ago. Content to allow Newgrounds to be run by a load of whiny adolescents? Ridiculous. And to think he'd actually wanted Lord Sonx to be a mod. What a fool. An idealistic idiot. As he thought of returning to his wife, he sent a phone call which set in motion the events leading to the man's 'suicide'. Tom Fulp had never been so secure with his position.

Tom Fulp loved Newgrounds.

At 6/30/07 05:44 PM, Paranoia wrote: Tom Fulp loved Newgrounds.

I didn't read the whole thing, lord-sonx becomes a mod right?

Someone see if they can round up paranoia's story in one sentence. Please.

At 6/30/07 05:49 PM, DFox wrote:

At 6/30/07 05:44 PM, Paranoia wrote: Tom Fulp loved Newgrounds.

I didn't read the whole thing, lord-sonx becomes a mod right?

Nah, you do find out why, though.

At 6/30/07 05:54 PM, Paranoia wrote: Nah, you do find out why, though.

heh, yeah, I was kidding. Good story though.

And may the snox be with you.

I'm too lazy to read the entire thing but i read bits an pieces. This is the sum of from what i read. Tom wants to make sonx a mod but luis doesn't so instead they appoint kraig and kirk and kill sonx to make it seem as though its a suicide. Tell me if i'm wrong :P

At 6/30/07 05:52 PM, crushy wrote: Someone see if they can round up paranoia's story in one sentence. Please.

Luis (who's part of a secret organization) demands that Tom Fulp become a 'better' leader to defend Newgrounds, and that Lord-Sonx will have to fake a suicide to remove him from Newgrounds and any modship he receives.

Or something like that.

I could do it rhyming couplets if you want, but I warn you, it'll sound cheesy. :P

ME!!!!!!!!!

Paranoia your story was funny write another with me and a couple other regs in it. :D

sorry forgot the pic.