end of april

Im moving out of my parents house at the age of 22
i will be moving out with a friend of mine and his family who rent...

why?

i came out to my friends and family and a few other people that im bi/pansexual and for the last 2 weeks my mother has treated me as if everything i am now is confused and wrong
my father sorta knew and my friends kinda knew, they had evidently just been waiting for me to say that i was either gay or bi for a few years now...

3 weeks ago i was the star child of 3... always the helpful one, and always the one that held his shit together
2 weeks ago my boyfriend met my parents, and the only look on my mothers face was hate ... she couldn't even talk to him...

so im moving out now.. i cant take the tears any more, cant take talking to my self of how i would confront her about it, cant take the feelings of anger in my towards that woman

tonight is easter.. the night of family... the night where we all get together and share happiness
i find more family.. in my boyfriend of 3 weeks then the parents i have known for 22 years

and so... im moving out

not having a great day :.(

Similar things occurred when I came out as Bi.

It's good to see that you're moving on. Why don't you move in with your boyfriend?

I'm not going to pretend I know more about the subject with you being an LGBT counsellor and all, but I believe some confusion among the parents are normal. Here's hoping everything stabilizes after a while.

Sometimes it's not because they hate the gayness, but because they're hurting because the image they had in their heads of your wife and kids has been destroyed now. Try and imagine it from their point of view - until of course they are unreasonable and openly just homophobic - of course don't let them be cunts. But first try and see how your boyfriend is the physical form of the grief that you shall not be continuing the genetic code, most likely. It's very primal.

At 3/31/13 05:46 PM, Otto wrote: Sometimes it's not because they hate the gayness, but because they're hurting because the image they had in their heads of your wife and kids has been destroyed now. Try and imagine it from their point of view - until of course they are unreasonable and openly just homophobic - of course don't let them be cunts. But first try and see how your boyfriend is the physical form of the grief that you shall not be continuing the genetic code, most likely. It's very primal.

Also the genetic thing.

I AM bisexual, however I promised my parents I would marry a woman for the sake of our family when I decided to settle down.

At 3/31/13 05:43 PM, CresIsis wrote: Similar things occurred when I came out as Bi.

It's good to see that you're moving on. Why don't you move in with your boyfriend?

because that seems fast... like id be putting to much stress on him and hes younger then me, and a student... i dont want to put pressure on him, hes a wonderful person and amazing

its all fucked up i guess..
but id rather be accepted and have to worry about making the payments of a life.. then be treated like i was not even a human being anymore

At 3/31/13 05:49 PM, CresIsis wrote: I AM bisexual, however I promised my parents I would marry a woman for the sake of our family when I decided to settle down.

Well that's stupid. If anything as long as you find someone who is the right person for you man or woman, that is all your family should care about. If anything you can have a surrogate mother.

At 3/31/13 06:12 PM, The-Great-One wrote: Well that's stupid. If anything as long as you find someone who is the right person for you man or woman, that is all your family should care about. If anything you can have a surrogate mother.

True actually. I already have a girlfriend of 4 months though and it seems to be going places, but I'll keep an open mind.

BUT this thread is about Tox. So cheer up mang.

At 3/31/13 05:41 PM, tox wrote: so im moving out now.. i cant take the tears any more

Had respect for you up until this point in your story. :D

But on a serious note: Go you! If you're not happy with your home life, moving out into a more comfortable place is the best move.

At 3/31/13 06:14 PM, CresIsis wrote: BUT this thread is about Tox. So cheer up mang.

i am finding that i calm down most.. when i am not in the same 200 feet of her ... :/
im actually kind of happy right now
i cant talk to her, she cant treat me like shit

At 3/31/13 06:19 PM, tox wrote: im actually kind of happy right now
i cant talk to her, she cant treat me like shit

Happiness is wonderful to have. However such bottled up anger is not good for you.

At 3/31/13 06:21 PM, Zachary wrote: Moving out of your parents house doesn't make you a man

Defeating the Huns and climbing a 100 feet straight vertical pole makes you a man.

That sounds like a shitty situation. Good luck, man.

Well...at least you're no longer going to be living in the same house as your mom.

At 3/31/13 06:21 PM, Zachary wrote:

At 3/31/13 05:42 PM, Vnzi wrote: inb4 mod lock saying newspost

glad you are moving out of your parents house, you are now a man

Moving out of your parents house doesn't make you a man

no, getting up in the morning and thinking to ones self:
regardless of the horrors of my life, the sadness, the hardships or challenges, i will provide for the ones i care for.
i will love the ones that need my help and i will make sure that i am always able to care for and give life to that, that bleeds the most
for i am only a tool of my being that i can harvest to better the world around me, and when i better the world, only a smile will be my thanks
i will live, i will be happy, i will show others how to live a life as i chose, and i chose a good life for them

NG, when everyone fucks everything
... or is 13

At 3/31/13 06:41 PM, tox wrote: no, getting up in the morning and thinking to ones self:
regardless of the horrors of my life, the sadness, the hardships or challenges, i will provide for the ones i care for.
i will love the ones that need my help and i will make sure that i am always able to care for and give life to that, that bleeds the most
for i am only a tool of my being that i can harvest to better the world around me, and when i better the world, only a smile will be my thanks
i will live, i will be happy, i will show others how to live a life as i chose, and i chose a good life for them

Yeah, you're definitely a man. It takes a man to have that kind of persistence regardless of the factors trying to help you succeed and prosper. I saw my own father get his legs crushed and even though we both knew he would never be able to walk again, he still lives on happy and carefree. It's kind of inspiring.

Good for you. If they wanna act like that, then fuck em.

At 3/31/13 06:51 PM, Piggler wrote:

At 3/31/13 06:45 PM, Crink wrote: pansexual? do you like pans

i like pans too

Can't tell if you're serious or not (most likely not), but I'll post the definition anyway for those who don't know.

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward persons of all gender identities and biological sexes.

To Add:

Although in our society sexual orientation is often seen as an either/or situation- meaning you're gay or you're straight, and that's all there is to it- that is certainly not the case. In fact, the majority of people fall between the two extremes to some extent. On the sexual spectrum, there are people who are oriented toward the middle (bisexuals), and there are people who envelope the spectrum as a whole (pansexuals).

Bisexuality, being attracted to both sexes, gets a bad rap from both ends of the spectrum. Many think that bisexuality is a transition point, a sort of pit stop on the road to full-out homosexuality; others think that bisexuals are just confused heterosexuals, or are faking it to get attention. This, of course, is utter nonsense. Bisexuality is real, and moreover, bisexuals do not need to "choose" between men and women. So there.

Pansexuality, being attracted to people of all genders (yes, there are more than two), doesn't get much of a rap at all- although pansexuals, who are attracted to transgendered and intersexed people, may often be labeled "tranny chasers." Few people are aware of the fact that pansexuality and bisexuality are two distinct and seperate orientations, and call people bisexual when they are actually pansexual.

So to sum up:

Bisexual = likes men and women

Pansexual = likes men, women, and others

Bisexual =/= Pansexual
6 years ago

At 3/31/13 06:51 PM, Piggler wrote:

Can't tell if you're serious or not (most likely not), but I'll post the definition anyway for those who don't know.

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward persons of all gender identities and biological sexes.

in other words: a fancy bisexual

At 3/31/13 07:01 PM, Crink wrote:

At 3/31/13 06:54 PM, CresIsis wrote:
pansexuals, who are attracted to trainsgendered and intersexed people

choo choo!

Indeed.

At 3/31/13 07:01 PM, Crink wrote:

At 3/31/13 06:54 PM, CresIsis wrote:
pansexuals, who are attracted to trainsgendered and intersexed people

choo choo!

dat train

Sorry that your mother is so closed minded, however good for you, wish you good luck in your endeavor!

At 3/31/13 06:54 PM, CresIsis wrote: So to sum up:

Bisexual = likes men and women

Pansexual = likes men, women, and others

Bisexual =/= Pansexual

think of it more as pans chase the mind.. not the body :/
sex with either sex may attract the person to another, but the pansexual will more so then not see sex as a by product that will keep the other person interested in them...
in short, its the mind that is your desire
sex is unimportant, and while pansexuals may have preferences to a body type, ie, brown hair, or skinny, or fat or black hair.. maybe blue eyes.. or brown eyes... it can be either male or female, asexual, or omnisexual, trans or tranny..

i find a personality that is inherent in humans (human be what ever they come as) to be what i desire..

IF you are attracted to the feelings of others like aliens, or humanoid creatures like that of a anime character or a furry.. or ... ... other things that are not necessarily something that you can touch.. like an internet relationship with someone half way around the world.. that is a small part of a pansexual...

there is no he, she, it..
it is: their mind

bisexual still refers to that of a sexual attraction to that of males or females.. and a desire to commit to a relationship where sexual outcome is a desire and product
pan is a hunter of a mind/personality .. a branch of that of bisexual

At 3/31/13 06:19 PM, tox wrote:

At 3/31/13 06:14 PM, CresIsis wrote: BUT this thread is about Tox. So cheer up mang.

i am finding that i calm down most.. when i am not in the same 200 feet of her ... :/
im actually kind of happy right now
i cant talk to her, she cant treat me like shit

stay strong stay tox

At 3/31/13 07:05 PM, tox wrote: Stuff

This makes sense as well. I suppose I'm pan as well when you think of it this way.

At 3/31/13 07:04 PM, DevourerJay wrote: Sorry that your mother is so closed minded, however good for you, wish you good luck in your endeavor!

most parents dont want gay children, not even most gay couples do
like it or not, thats the way it is. if you cant understand the other, maybe you are the close minded

p.d:

At 3/31/13 07:05 PM, tox wrote:

IF you are attracted to the feelings of others like aliens, or humanoid creatures like that of a anime character or a furry.. or ... ... other things that are not necessarily something that you can touch.. like an internet relationship with someone half way around the world.. that is a small part of a pansexual...

not according to wikipedia, as it doesnt include underage and lamps. it just defines pansexuality as liking the 2 genres and the weird combinations of those

i was interested because i would fuck anime, furries, underaged, aliens, robots, etc. but not a trannies

interesting fact: "pan" means "bread" in spanish

At 6 minuets ago, The-Great-One wrote:

Congratulations to you for coming completely out of the closet, but you need to sit down with your
mother and talk to her. I guarantee that your day and your mom have already talked about you. To live in
doubt and fear of what if is not a place to be, I've been there for years now.

At 4 minutes ago, tox wrote:

sadly.. she has denied that to me because she will not even talk to me about it, and when i or my sister : or my father try to talk to her about it she states that she is not ready to talk about it...
its been 2 weeks now and all that she has done is not talk to me and treat me like i dont either exist or
that i need to be something that i am not
so, this is me, standing up for me, and saying that if she cant accept me, i will find acceptance
somewhere else
is that wrong?

At 2 minuets ago The-Great-One wrote:
No that is not wrong. Now that the story is given in full I understand more now. I will say that you
should not show anger towards your mother, but pity. That due to her not understanding or having an open mind that she would lose a son.

sadly this all started when my mother cornered my sister unknowenly at a family outing, to a resteraunt...
the conversation went to an idea of Eric, the star child, the one that keeps his shit together, the oldest son... was volunteering at a LGBT group and if she skew anything about it
(at this point i have avoided telling my mother about being pan.. because i was not ready to tell her just yet)
and my sister sumerizes her ideas with the idea that, anyone can love anyone, it is their choice, love is about love, and love can go anywhere...
the conversation continues and she tattles off "all the other kinds of people that can go there from:

Two spirit, transgender, transsexual, intersex, asexual, gender neutral, pansexual, genderqueer, intergender, androgynous, unisex, queer, questioning, lesbian, gay, bisexual, dyke

and she wanted to know again if she knew anything
at this point my sister is quiet and my mom drops the idea that:

you are either straight or gay, there is nothing in between, anything that is in between is either confused or wrong or have yet to chose

its all fucked up i guess

That really sucks. I was blessed to have parents that didn't care that I was bi/pansexual what I wouldn't give to slap some sense into that mother of yours.

Let me guess all she can say now is "You don't know what you mean, you're confused. You're not really bi there is no such thing"

That sorta bigoted crap, doing anything to convince herself that her son is not into uys at all and he does not know whats good?