At 6/24/13 02:51 PM, VinnyXY wrote:
I wish this wish was un-corruptable.

lol, Granted; you've been skipped.

Same wish, master at cooking on a grill.

At 6/24/13 02:52 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/24/13 02:33 PM, ragnkinson wrote:
I wish for moar meat.

Granted, your closet is filled to the brim with raw steak.

I wish I was a master at cooking on a grill.

Granted but you the weather won't allow you to grill.

I wish for grilled meat from Phobotech

At 6/24/13 02:59 PM, ragnkinson wrote:
Granted but you the weather won't allow you to grill.

I wish for grilled meat from Phobotech

Granted, but the meat has Avian Flu and you die a painful death.

I wish for a Golden Idol.

At 6/24/13 04:42 PM, Farscape123 wrote: I wish for a Golden Idol.

Granted but it's cursed and you'll never be able to get rid of the curse.

I wish for a picture of Jesus.

At 6/24/13 05:14 PM, TomCheatedonApril wrote:
I wish for a book full of pictures of books.

Granted but it's porn.

I wish for porn.

At 6/24/13 05:25 PM, ragnkinson wrote:

At 6/24/13 05:14 PM, TomCheatedonApril wrote:
I wish for a book full of pictures of books.

Granted but it's porn.

I wish for porn.

Granted, but its corpse porn.

I wish for a PS4.

At 6/24/13 05:43 PM, Farscape123 wrote:
I wish for a PS4.

Granted but it's an xbox one

I wish for coal

At 6/24/13 05:51 PM, ragnkinson wrote:
I wish for coal

Granted. You now have an old timey coal mine with workers on almost slavish wages dieing in some of the worst ways there are. You horrible human being.

I wish for Seth Mcfarlane to get kicked square in the balls.

At 6/24/13 06:52 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish for Seth Mcfarlane to get kicked square in the balls.

granted only to find out he had a vasectomy years ago just to prepare for the event

i wish all the good posters would come back

At 6/24/13 06:55 PM, Natick wrote:

At 6/24/13 06:52 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish for Seth Mcfarlane to get kicked square in the balls.

granted only to find out he had a vasectomy years ago just to prepare for the event

i wish all the good posters would come back

Granted but they decided not to post anything

I wish for green ham and eggs

At 6/24/13 06:57 PM, alternativesolution wrote: I wish for green ham and eggs

Granted, you die from food poisoning.

I wish for something yummy and harmless to eat.

At 6/24/13 06:57 PM, alternativesolution wrote:

At 6/24/13 06:55 PM, Natick wrote:

At 6/24/13 06:52 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish for Seth Mcfarlane to get kicked square in the balls.

granted only to find out he had a vasectomy years ago just to prepare for the event

i wish all the good posters would come back

Granted but they decided not to post anything

I wish for green ham and eggs

Granted. But oh no! A wild sneetch snatches your food and runs away with it. You should be quicker next time.

I wish I was friends with the Lorax.

At 6/24/13 07:03 PM, TehPoptartKid wrote:
I wish I was friends with the Lorax.

Lo and behold,
You're friends with the Lorax.
But as it turns out,
He's kind of a thorax.
Not to imply he's the rump of a bug.
But moreso a douchebag in need of a hug.
Though no one would hug him, for he smells something dead.
A trait that no story elaborated.
Trapped in his world of trees oh-so whimsy.
Consumed one by one by some corporate floozy.
The Lorax not talkative, but only of plight
Complaints of industrialism all day and night.
Your wish has been granted, you've now gained a chum.
I'm sorry he's left you feeling *sigh*..."ho-hum."

I wish I could spend all day writing whatever came to mind while getting paid for it.

At 6/24/13 07:14 PM, Phobotech wrote: I'm sorry he's left you feeling *sigh*..."ho-hum."

8/10

I wish I could spend all day writing whatever came to mind while getting paid for it.

You can't control what you write and eventually you published memoirs of all the times you touched your cousins wiener.

I wish I had theme music that would play on command.

At 6/24/13 07:01 PM, Tankdown wrote:

At 6/24/13 06:57 PM, alternativesolution wrote: I wish for green ham and eggs

Granted, you die from food poisoning.

I wish for something yummy and harmless to eat.

Granted, here's a cockroach, the tastiest of its kind.

I wish for a happy, love-filled future with rainbows and sunshine

At 6/24/13 07:18 PM, sweet21 wrote:
I wish I had theme music that would play on command.

Granted, but you have no control over what theme music plays. Sometimes its the "Black Dynamite" theme, sometimes its the Pokemon theme, other times its "Hello Kitty." It seems to be random every single time its activated, and at first this is very entertaining, if not just confusing or weird...rarely does it fit the situation you wish to punctuate with a theme song. One day it decides to play an obscure, but incredibly racist theme at the absolute worst possible time. You eventually stop using it in public out of embarrassment...but in your old age, you grow old with the nickname and legacy "Jukebox."

At 6/24/13 07:19 PM, alternativesolution wrote:
I wish for a happy, love-filled future with rainbows and sunshine

Granted, but the powers that interpret "love-filled future with rainbows and sunshine" instantly make everyone homosexual and addicted to blow. Because of the permanence of love and tolerance, nobody deems the rampant coke-snorting a problem (even though its still against the law, many people just avoid doing joyless things.) The majority of the world, if employed, stop going to their jobs entirely. With sweeping joblessness and no money being tossed around for much, crime rates spike because of the powder boom, and birth rates completely stop. The human race destroys itself in a matter this decade of miserable force-joy, over-sexed (some, fatally exhausted, others teeming with diseases) and coked-out (drastically reducing average lifespans.) Because nobody wishes to change these conditions (being happy), this accelerates the omnideath.

I wish marijuana was decriminalized.

At 6/24/13 09:34 PM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish marijuana was decriminalized.

Granted but everyone becomes addicted.

I wish marijuana wasn't addictive.

At 6/24/13 07:01 PM, Tankdown wrote: I wish for something yummy and harmless to eat.

Granted. It's your last meal before you are executed.

At 6/25/13 04:33 AM, ragnkinson wrote: I wish marijuana wasn't addictive.

Granted, no one gets addicted any more, so no one wants to buy all the weed you've stored in your basement.
(Actually, weed isn't addictive. At least not physically.)

I wish I could see the future.

At 6/25/13 11:40 AM, VinnyXY wrote: I wish that I'm good at doing anything and everything.

Granted, but you show off with it and end up losing all your friends.

I wish I could warp into other worlds.

I wish '07ers like me would be considered regs on this site. Sadly, we're not.

Granted, but then everyone else becomes. irregular..(?) Causing everyone else to seem normal, THUS causing you to seem irregular, or.. weird .3.?

I wish i was a catfish.

At 6/25/13 03:45 PM, AkatsukiDeath wrote: I wish i was a catfish.

Granted, but you are fished.

I wish to eat some fish.

At 6/26/13 05:35 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to eat some fish.

Granted but you choke on it.

I wish for never being famous, but just being rich.

At 6/26/13 05:42 AM, ragnkinson wrote:
I wish for never being famous, but just being rich.

Granted. You invest into stock trading. It's good for a little while...but then, not so much...

I wish I was a woman.

At 6/26/13 05:53 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I was a woman.

Granted but you'll be complaining all the time.

I wish wish women won't complain all the time.

At 6/26/13 05:58 AM, ragnkinson wrote:
I wish wish women won't complain all the time.

Granted granted, but women won't even HINT about anything being wrong (because we know how they just love to communicate their problems normally) and then men are the only ones left to bitch and piss and moan about everything.

I wish the human race was so widespread psychic that secrets become meaningless, therefore nothing surprises anyone anymore, allowing us closer into singularity, complete empathy, synchronizing our efforts into accomplishing something great after we leave everything trivial behind us.

At 6/26/13 06:27 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish the human race was so widespread psychic that secrets become meaningless, therefore nothing surprises anyone anymore, allowing us closer into singularity, complete empathy, synchronizing our efforts into accomplishing something great after we leave everything trivial behind us.

Granted, but after some time, people will get sick of it.

I wish for a steak.

At 6/26/13 06:35 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, but after some time, people will get sick of it.

I wish for a steak.

Granted, but it is rock solid after being in a freezer for too long. Nothing can undo the freezerburn...it is not a good steak.

I wish I could meet Devin Townsend for a pleasant, uninterrupted conversation.

At 6/26/13 06:48 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/26/13 06:35 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, but after some time, people will get sick of it.

I wish for a steak.

Granted, but it is rock solid after being in a freezer for too long. Nothing can undo the freezerburn...it is not a good steak.

I wish I could meet Devin Townsend for a pleasant, uninterrupted conversation.

Granted, but it is a blow up doll of Devin Townsend with a bomb inside of it. As soon as you get less than 2 feet away from it or stop talking to it, it will explode....

I wish I could never sleep.

At 6/26/13 07:36 AM, 00Nick00 wrote:
I wish I could never sleep.

Granted, but the symptoms of sleep deprivation only intensify and stack for each moment you're awake. You will pray for death when you notice you are physically incapable of sleep.

I wish I could control my sweat to however or wherever I please.

At 6/26/13 07:44 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/26/13 07:36 AM, 00Nick00 wrote:
I wish I could never sleep.

Granted, but the symptoms of sleep deprivation only intensify and stack for each moment you're awake. You will pray for death when you notice you are physically incapable of sleep.

I wish I could control my sweat to however or wherever I please.

Granted, but when you forget, you stink even more.

I wish I was undead.