At 5/5/15 01:25 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish people would stop with that.

Granted, now it's illegal to touch yourself at night, but everyone still do it...
...in prison. Including the cops.

I wish it was legal to kill shitty Sanic recolors

At 5/5/15 03:28 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish it was legal to kill shitty Sanic recolors

Granted. Shadow the Hedgehog gets killed off for real.

I wish that I was Dr. Who.

At 5/5/15 03:32 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that I was Dr. Who.

Granted, but you end up in a porn parody that features modified Daleks ready for "action" on top of you.

I wish porn parodies weren't so awkward, creepy and cheap-looking *still shudders at memories of Spongeknob Squarenuts*

At 5/5/15 03:32 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that I was Dr. Who.

Granted. Your last name is who and you're a podiatrist.

I wish I was as good at climbing as the most nimble chimp in the world.

At 5/5/15 03:37 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish I was as good at climbing as the most nimble chimp in the world.

I was going to make an edgy/racist corruption but fuck that noise.

A deadly disease has spread across the chimp community. The few remaining chimps suffer an inability to climb. You can climb as well as one of the surviving chimps.

I wish the "mere pathetic billionaires" gambled away all their money on hookers and blow so they could see what it's like to be the 99%.

At 5/5/15 05:47 PM, Chdonga wrote: I wish the "mere pathetic billionaires" gambled away all their money on hookers and blow so they could see what it's like to be the 99%.

Granted, but they overdose on blow, so none of them see anything of what it's like to be the 99%.

I wish Minecraft had blow and hookers

At 5/5/15 03:36 PM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish porn parodies weren't so awkward, creepy and cheap-looking *still shudders at memories of Spongeknob Squarenuts*

Granted. But the only porn parodies with decent budgets are the polar opposite of whatever you find arousing.

At 5/5/15 08:33 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I could extend my ears for better hearing.

Granted. They've extended so far that it becomes difficult to move your head.

I wish I had the power to make each day repeat a la Groundhog Day. But if I get bored of repeating the same day, I can make time progress properly at any time.

At 5/6/15 12:02 AM, Chdonga wrote: I wish I had the power to make each day repeat a la Groundhog Day. But if I get bored of repeating the same day, I can make time progress properly at any time.

Granted, no one else notices, à la Groundhog Day.

I wish I didn't feel like I was in that movie at times.

At 5/6/15 04:40 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, no one else notices, à la Groundhog Day.

I wish I didn't feel like I was in that movie at times.

Granted. Time only moves forward, but every day is a boring day. You eventually commit suicide because your life is too repetitive.

I wish I could change the past.

don't know if this has been said before.

At 5/6/15 10:00 AM, Sobolev wrote:
I wish I could change the past.

Granted. The future becomes a Hell on Earth as a result.

I wish that "Heart Attack" always meant a disembodied heart stabbing someone or something in the genitals with a sword.

At 5/6/15 11:51 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that "Heart Attack" always meant a disembodied heart stabbing someone or something in the genitals with a sword.

Granted, I have a heart attack in your presence.

I wish the school I'll be teaching at tomorrow had a parking lot.

At 5/7/15 01:36 PM, MMHM wrote:

At 5/7/15 01:33 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish the school I'll be teaching at tomorrow had a parking lot.

Granted, the parking lot is full.

I wish for a better post.

Granted, but you are now a clock without a purpose once again.

I wish I'm not confusing you with someone else.

At 5/7/15 02:52 PM, MMHM wrote:

At 5/7/15 01:49 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I'm not confusing you with someone else.

You aren't, sadly.

I guess you win?

Your wish is granted; and corruption is in the very aspect of granting a wish that is nonexistant, therefore doing nothing.

I wish someone would already tell me who killed one of the Response Mood smileys. Seriously, it's not feeling any convinient to pretend to be a sane human being while there's a dead fucking smiley everytime I write something in the BBS.

At 5/7/15 03:27 PM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish someone would already tell me who killed one of the Response Mood smileys. Seriously, it's not feeling any convinient to pretend to be a sane human being while there's a dead fucking smiley everytime I write something in the BBS.

It was you during one of your less stable phases.

I wish for you to look at this and feel guilty.

At 5/8/15 09:30 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 5/7/15 03:27 PM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish someone would already tell me who killed one of the Response Mood smileys. Seriously, it's not feeling any convinient to pretend to be a sane human being while there's a dead fucking smiley everytime I write something in the BBS.

It was you during one of your less stable phases.

I wish for you to look at this and feel guilty.

Granted, but for some reason it makes me feel multitude of feelings on top of it, and horniness and laughter is just one of them...

I wish for a bloody orgy of the creators of modern Spongebob and Family Guy that involves killing eachother with chainsaws

At 5/8/15 04:28 PM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish for a bloody orgy of the creators of modern Spongebob and Family Guy that involves killing eachother with chainsaws

Granted, but they were JUST about to make good episodes.

I wish I never had to shave.

At 5/9/15 09:56 AM, Ericho wrote:
I wish I never had to shave.

Granted. You get mistaken for Bigfoot due to your hairiness and become a local zoo attraction where 5 year old kids pelt you with rocks.

I wish that all human males must marry an anthropomorphized spider. (The spiders won't be black widows, for instead they want to keep their mates alive)

At 5/9/15 10:05 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that all human males must marry an anthropomorphized spider. (The spiders won't be black widows, for instead they want to keep their mates alive)

Granted, and that somehow causes the birth of Spiderman (the one from the 60's)

I wish Angry Video Game Nerd was Clack Kent all along

At 5/9/15 10:05 AM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that all human males must marry an anthropomorphized spider. (The spiders won't be black widows, for instead they want to keep their mates alive)

Granted, it's the only sex you'll ever have.

I wish I was Bigfoot.

At 5/9/15 10:21 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish Angry Video Game Nerd was Clack Kent all along

Granted, but then he turns into a cat.

See my wish above.

At 5/9/15 10:23 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: See my wish above.

It was about being Bigfoot.

Granted, but you're hunted down.

I wish my mom was here for Mother's Day.

At 5/10/15 09:53 AM, Ericho wrote:
I wish my mom was here for Mother's Day.

Granted. Here's your mummy.

I wish that dinosaurs ruled the world of politics.

At 5/10/15 09:55 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 5/10/15 09:53 AM, Ericho wrote:
I wish my mom was here for Mother's Day.

Granted. Here's your mummy.

I wish that dinosaurs ruled the world of politics.

They already do, unless you mean literal dinosaurs, in which case not much would change either.

I wish I was an awesome artist.

At 5/10/15 10:25 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was an awesome artist.

Granted, but you're so popular people stalk you.

I wish my cooler was fixed.

At 5/16/15 09:37 AM, Ericho wrote:
I wish my cooler was fixed.

Granted. I fix your cooler and turn it into this guy.

I wish that Kirby was female.

At 5/17/15 12:03 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 5/16/15 09:37 AM, Ericho wrote:
I wish my cooler was fixed.

Granted. I fix your cooler and turn it into this guy.

I wish that Kirby was female.

Granted, but not even a female Kirby wants to fuck you.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

At 5/17/15 08:22 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted. She turns you into her personal sex slave.

I wish that all mead was made with hallucinogenic mushrooms.

At 5/17/15 08:26 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 5/17/15 08:22 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted. She turns you into her personal sex slave.

I wish that all mead was made with hallucinogenic mushrooms.

Granted, I turn into a berserker and you just happen to be in my way.

I wish there was a heaven.

At 5/17/15 08:29 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 5/17/15 08:26 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish there was a heaven.

Wish granted, but it's not your idea of heaven.

I wish for HELL.

At 5/17/15 08:33 AM, Madjasper1 wrote: I wish for HELL.

Granted, nothing changes.

I wish to rule Hell.