At 7/21/14 07:09 AM, Ro-May-O wrote:

At 7/21/14 07:06 AM, Sexylegs wrote:

I wish that I owned a pet dragon who was familiar with me and thus not aggressive towards me.

Granted, that dragon is a confused stalker, who eats you so you can be together forever.

I wish that forgetting to post a wish in the Corrupt a Wish thread resulted in an auto-ban.

At 7/21/14 01:04 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 7/21/14 12:55 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish that forgetting to post a wish in the Corrupt a Wish thread resulted in an auto-ban.

Granted, for every fail a new country adopts the idea of an autobahn...

I wish you'd kill the thread...

Granted, I literally kill everyone who ever posted here.

I wish not to kill the thread... again...

At 7/21/14 01:14 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 7/21/14 01:07 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish not to kill the thread... again...

Granted, you failed to kill it a first time so it wouldn't be "again"...

I wish you'd commit seppuku while I watch!

Granted, you're watching from behind, and I have a freaking long sword with which I can kill both of us.

I wish for a sword.

At 7/21/14 01:19 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for a sword.

Granted. You really like your sword and include it in all your social media pictures. It does draw women, but not good women.

I wish for jurassic park four to not be the trainwreck it will be.

At 7/21/14 05:08 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for jurassic park four to not be the trainwreck it will be.

Granted, Jurassic Park 4 is the bomb! In that bombs...hard...because the writing and direction is shit, and the CGI still somehow looks worse than the animation in the first movie.

I wish for all of the fat in my body to turn into brown fat.

At 7/21/14 08:33 PM, Phobotech wrote: !
I wish for all of the fat in my body to turn into brown fat.

Granted. You're fat old black guy. Everyone expects home spun wisdom and jazz music from you but you have none.

I wish you got a romantic partner who is ideal in both personality and sexiness.

At 7/21/14 08:58 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish you got a romantic partner who is ideal in both personality and sexiness.

Granted, but she's an alien...also infertile, so we could never have awesome offsprings of our own blood.

I wish you the best of luck, stafffighter. The best.

Wish granted. You find your microscope - only to find that a group of rag-time singing bacteria have taken over.

You eventually go mad.

I wish for a clown car.

At 7/21/14 09:30 PM, YomToxic wrote:
I wish for a clown car.

Granted. You receive a sentient, living car that spends its every waking moment acting like a clown. This includes airbags deploying at the worst possible moments, caking your face in pies (or sometimes just pelting you with a boxing glove attached to a spring). The headlights cry banana peels which compromises your ability to steer and brake. Its exhaust pipe is a whoopie cushion sometimes, so the entire day, it accelerates with loud, almost deafening pitches of fart noises.

Its hell on your love life...every time a date approaches the car, there's something obnoxious happening every time. You're constantly ticketed for illegal parking, obstructing traffic, disturbing the peace, and on a few occasions, your car is ticketed for indecent exposure. Sometimes it rattles on with awful jokes and puns non-stop for the entire day, especially when you aren't in the mood for it. In times when you're in a hurry, other, smaller clown cars seem to never stream out of it. The spare tire is a balloon ring. The seatbelts are the never-ending hankerchief gag. Your horn is different every time you sound it, and sometimes it gets other drivers so pissed off they want to drag you out of your car and beat your ass. It has only one radio station, and its constant, loud circus music... and the Halloweens...

...Jesus Christ, the Halloweens will mentally unhinge you for lifetimes...every year...

I wish I owned a Zeta Plus Gundam.

At 7/21/14 10:03 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I owned a Zeta Plus Gundam.

Granted, it's the only thing you own.

I wish to know what the fuck you're talking about.

At 7/22/14 09:03 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: \
I wish to know what the fuck you're talking about.

Granted. What you see inside his head, it isn't good.

I wish kwyjibos were real.

At 7/24/14 11:05 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish kwyjibos were real.

Granted, but nobody knows how to pronounce that shit.

I wish I was real.

At 7/25/14 09:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 7/24/14 11:05 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish kwyjibos were real.

Granted, but nobody knows how to pronounce that shit.

You should be ashamed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnqkA36WSYQ

I wish I was real.

Granted. Hip, young people hang out around you for your un-quantifiable "realness." And no, not the poser hot girls who'd maybe fool around with you, the weird people to treat it like a lifestyle.

I wish bowie knives were a fashion statement.

At 7/25/14 04:35 PM, SCTE3 wrote:

At 7/25/14 04:02 PM, stafffighter wrote:

I wish bowie knives were a fashion statement.

Wish granted but people decide to stab them into their bodies as a fashion statement and end up killing theirselves.

I wish for best meal ever and being able to write a book about it.

Granted, but no one wants to read your book.

I wish to read a good book.

At 7/26/14 09:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to read a good book.

Granted, but it's "The Story Of The Vivian Girls" which is over 9 million words long, so it takes an eternity to read it.

My brother did get that job at Publix! And I did not lose my job!

I wish my brother's laptop was working so he wouldn't have to use mine.

At 7/26/14 11:13 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 7/26/14 09:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to read a good book.

Granted, but it's "The Story Of The Vivian Girls" which is over 9 million words long, so it takes an eternity to read it.

My brother did get that job at Publix! And I did not lose my job!

I wish my brother's laptop was working so he wouldn't have to use mine.

Granted, but your laptop crashes, so now you have to use his.

I wish you'd stop worrying about your brother.

At 7/26/14 12:40 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish you'd stop worrying about your brother.

Granted, but I don't have a brother, so the joke's on you!

I wish that all electronic technology didn't work anymore.

At 7/26/14 05:43 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that all electronic technology didn't work anymore.

Granted. As soon as it's done you realize you've just enacted the ending to escape from L.A. It slowly dawns on you that you can never watch that awesome movie again! Snake Pliskin surfs!

I wish for helicopter skills.

At 7/26/14 06:39 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for helicopter skills.

Granted. You are now Blackout the Decepticon.

I wish that I hogged all the girls for myself so that all the other guys wouldn't get any action.

At 7/26/14 11:38 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:
I wish that I hogged all the girls for myself so that all the other guys wouldn't get any action.

Granted. You can rally all the women that you want for you cause, but they still retain free will...they quickly realize this shit isn't fair at all, and they quickly disperse after a solid couple of minutes of "all of the girls being for yourself."...eventually, you gain the negative reputation of "the guy that tried to keep all the girls to himself" and you're forever demonized as a creep.

I wish I was hyper-talented at all forms of art.

At 7/27/14 04:29 AM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish I was hyper-talented at all forms of art.

Granted however no one understands your true genius and your art is only viewed by a few hipsters

I wish I had another Capri-Sun

At 7/27/14 04:46 AM, Teddiikun wrote:
I wish I had another Capri-Sun

Granted, but its impenetrable. There's no way to puncture the outer wrapping to drink the inner goods.

I wish I was invulnerable to all forms of injury.

At 7/27/14 04:47 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I was invulnerable to all forms of injury.

Granted, but you're still vulnerable diseases.

I wish I could grant my own wishes.

At 7/27/14 05:12 AM, FiendMachine wrote:

At 7/27/14 05:10 AM, GodOfVideoGames wrote:
I wish I could grant my own wishes.

Not granted

You can't do that, FiendMachine, you gotta corrupt the wish...furthermore, you gotta POST a wish to be corrupted.

"I wish I could grant my own wishes"

Granted, but it always comes out corrupted, and the more self-centered, the wish, the worst it turn out.

I wish I could cure all forms of diabetes forever.

At 7/27/14 05:23 AM, FiendMachine wrote:
I wish I don't get ignored by anybody

Granted. You never EVER have a moment of privacy left for yourself. You're constantly harassed by paparazzi, even from within the comfort of your own home.

I wish I could fly effortlessly on my own accord for an infinite amount of time.

At 7/27/14 05:23 AM, FiendMachine wrote: I wish I don't get ignored by anybody

Granted, but no matter where you go and what you do people take pictures of you. You're spied upon no matter what you do. Everything you do and say is misinterpreted by the mass media.

I wish people would find a way to colonize the moon.

At 7/27/14 05:31 AM, GodOfVideoGames wrote:

I wish people would find a way to colonize the moon.

GRANTED Ya foo!

People colonize the moon, but then Earth goes into WW3 over everyone fighting over ownership of the moon. Everybody who lives on Earth dies. The people on the moon are stuck, and will eventually die too.

I wish that Putin was a four armed commando with laser armpit cannons, and he could transform metal into ice cream with nuts. Oh, and make his toes mini homing rockets with the devastating power of nuclear warheads.

At 7/27/14 05:28 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I could fly effortlessly on my own accord for an infinite amount of time.

Granted, but on your first attempt to land (because you will get sick of it after some time), you crash and die.

At 7/27/14 05:51 AM, fmn335 wrote: I wish that Putin was a four armed commando with laser armpit cannons, and he could transform metal into ice cream with nuts. Oh, and make his toes mini homing rockets with the devastating power of nuclear warheads.

Granted. It's the end of the world.

I wish both America and Russia would finally stop wanting to fight each other all the time.

At 7/27/14 06:04 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish both America and Russia would finally stop wanting to fight each other all the time.

Granted, but every other country wants to fight each other now, so you have successfully caused World War Three.

I wish I had more Legend of Zelda games.

At 7/27/14 09:14 AM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote: I wish I had more Legend of Zelda games.

Granted, but you did the CD-I ones. Ew.

I wish I was able to get a date from a website.