Shoot swords, teleport and don't mess with the turtles3.92 / 5.00 15,660 Views
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the toxic mold told its children to stay close. They were also toxic mold. This irritated their parent, the toxic mold from the first sentence. Scientists did not approve of them, but later changed their minds when they found that toxic mold added to fine cheese created a delicious snack.
Jedermann sein eigner truthahn abendessen.
For decades, battles have been fought in the war to save the Mushroom Kingdom from endless menaces. A true champion has emerged, and the war has been won. The princess and her plumber stand before the adoring masses ready to reward this hero, with his heart's desire. What will he ask? Only that which, in the beginning was promised to whomever would save it, the Mushroom Kingdom itself. This is a hero who would be king, and he gives the princess the choice to rule at his side or retire into obscurity with her beloved plumber. Which will she choose?
This flash is intended to be a humorous take on Stockton's classic, "The Lady, or the Tiger?", placing the fantasy world in a slightly more grown-up element.
Ideally, I envision this story as a series of vignettes, heralding the feats of the Golden Hero in war and diplomacy... the razing of every last one of of Bowser's castles, the slaying of the villain and all his spawn as represented by their heads on pikes, and a diplomatic forging of a defense pact with Hyrule that will lead to a stability in both kingdoms.
The Oath leaves no room for dodging the question - Princess Peach must choose the power or the plumber. That decision is left to the viewer, perhaps in the form of a split screen image - one where she lives with Mario in marital bliss or a second where she sits upon the throne of the Mushroom Empire beside the Golden Hero.
POKEMAN FLASH MOVIE
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of Troy. Many cities did he visit, and many were the nations with whose manners and customs he was acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save his own life and bring his men safely home; but do what he might he could not save his men, for they perished through their own sheer folly in eating the cattle of the Sun-god Hyperion; so the god prevented them from ever reaching home. Tell me, too, about all these things, O daughter of Jove, from whatsoever source you may know them.
So now all who escaped death in battle or by shipwreck had got safely home except Ulysses, and he, though he was longing to return to his wife and country, was detained by the goddess Calypso, who had got him into a large cave and wanted to marry him. But as years went by, there came a time when the gods settled that he should go back to Ithaca; even then, however, when he was among his own people, his troubles were not yet over; nevertheless all the gods had now begun to pity him except Neptune, who still persecuted him without ceasing and would not let him get home.
Now Neptune had gone off to the Ethiopians, who are at the world's end, and lie in two halves, the one looking West and the other East. He had gone there to accept a hecatomb of sheep and oxen, and was enjoying himself at his festival; but the other gods met in the house of Olympian Jove, and the sire of gods and men spoke first. At that moment he was thinking of Aegisthus, who had been killed by Agamemnon's son Orestes; so he said to the other gods:
"See now, how men lay blame upon us gods for what is after all nothing but their own folly. Look at Aegisthus; he must needs make love to Agamemnon's wife unrighteously and then kill Agamemnon, though he knew it would be the death of him; for I sent Mercury to warn him not to do either of these things, inasmuch as Orestes would be sure to take his revenge when he grew up and wanted to return home. Mercury told him this in all good will but he would not listen, and now he has paid for everything in full."
Then Minerva said, "Father, son of Saturn, King of kings, it served Aegisthus right, and so it would any one else who does as he did; but Aegisthus is neither here nor there; it is for Ulysses that my heart bleeds, when I think of his sufferings in that lonely sea-girt island, far away, poor man, from all his friends. It is an island covered with forest, in the very middle of the sea, and a goddess lives there, daughter of the magician Atlas, who looks after the bottom of the ocean, and carries the great columns that keep heaven and earth asunder. This daughter of Atlas has got hold of poor unhappy Ulysses, and keeps trying by every kind of blandishment to make him forget his home, so that he is tired of life, and thinks of nothing but how he may once more see the smoke of his own chimneys. You, sir, take no heed of this, and yet when Ulysses was before Troy did he not propitiate you with many a burnt sacrifice? Why then should you keep on being so angry with him?"
And Jove said, "My child, what are you talking about? How can I forget Ulysses than whom there is no more capable man on earth, nor more liberal in his offerings to the immortal gods that live in heaven? Bear in mind, however, that Neptune is still furious with Ulysses for having blinded an eye of Polyphemus king of the Cyclopes. Polyphemus is son to Neptune by the nymph Thoosa, daughter to the sea-king Phorcys; therefore though he will not kill Ulysses outright, he torments him by preventing him from getting home. Still, let us lay our heads together and see how we can help him to return; Neptune will then be pacified, for if we are all of a mind he can hardly stand out against us."
And Minerva said, "Father, son of Saturn, King of kings, if, then, the gods now mean that Ulysses should get home, we should first send Mercury to the Ogygian island to tell Calypso that we have made up our minds and that he is to return. In the meantime I will go to Ithaca, to put heart into Ulysses' son Telemachus; I will embolden him to call the Achaeans in assembly, and speak out to the suitors of his mother Penelope, who persist in eating up any number of his sheep and oxen; I will also conduct him to Sparta and to Pylos, to see if he can hear anything about the return of his dear father- for this will make people speak well of him."
So saying she bound on her glittering golden sandals, imperishable, with which she can fly like the wind over land or sea; she grasped the redoubtable bronze-shod spear, so stout and sturdy and strong, wherewith she quells the ranks of heroes who have displeased her, and down she darted from the topmost summits of Olympus, whereon forthwith she was in Ithaca, at the gateway of Ulysses' house, disguised as a visitor, Mentes, chief of the Taphians, and she held a bronze spear in her hand. There she found the lordly suitors seated on hides of the oxen which they had killed and eaten, and playing draughts in front of the house. Men-servants and pages were bustling about to wait upon them, some mixing wine with water in the mixing-bowls, some cleaning down the tables with wet sponges and laying them out again, and some cutting up great quantities of meat.
Telemachus saw her long before any one else did. He was sitting moodily among the suitors thinking about his brave father, and how he would send them flying out of the house, if he were to come to his own again and be honoured as in days gone by. Thus brooding as he sat among them, he caught sight of Minerva and went straight to the gate, for he was vexed that a stranger should be kept waiting for admittance. He took her right hand in his own, and bade her give him her spear. "Welcome," said he, "to our house, and when you have partaken of food you shall tell us what you have come for."
He led the way as he spoke, and Minerva followed him. When they were within he took her spear and set it in the spear- stand against a strong bearing-post along with the many other spears of his unhappy father, and he conducted her to a richly decorated seat under which he threw a cloth of damask. There was a footstool also for her feet, and he set another seat near her for himself, away from the suitors, that she might not be annoyed while eating by their noise and insolence, and that he might ask her more freely about his father.
A maid servant then brought them water in a beautiful golden ewer and poured it into a silver basin for them to wash their hands, and she drew a clean table beside them. An upper servant brought them bread, and offered them many good things of what there was in the house, the carver fetched them plates of all manner of meats and set cups of gold by their side, and a man-servant brought them wine and poured it out for them.
Then the suitors came in and took their places on the benches and seats. Forthwith men servants poured water over their hands, maids went round with the bread-baskets, pages filled the mixing-bowls with wine and water, and they laid their hands upon the good things that were before them. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink they wanted music and dancing, which are the crowning embellishments of a banquet, so a servant brought a lyre to Phemius, whom they compelled perforce to sing to them. As soon as he touched his lyre and began to sing Telemachus spoke low to Minerva, with his head close to hers that no man might hear.
"I hope, sir," said he, "that you will not be offended with what I am going to say. Singing comes cheap to those who do not pay for it, and all this is done at the cost of one whose bones lie rotting in some wilderness or grinding to powder in the surf. If these men were to see my father come back to Ithaca they would pray for longer legs rather than a longer purse, for money would not serve them; but he, alas, has fallen on an ill fate, and even when people do sometimes say that he is coming, we no longer heed them; we shall never see him again.
Once there was a parrot named parrot and he liked to fly around in the forest, but it was a rain forest, because he's a parrot and they live in the rain forest not the real forest.
The rain forest really sucks for birds because it rains all the time so he got his feathers wet and he couldn't fly so he said fuck this, and he could say that because parrots can talk, and he went somewhere where there wasn't any rain in the rain forest, which was no where, because it's obvious that the entire forest is covered in rain at all times otherwise they wouldn't call it a rain forest, so he went to the local fast food chain restaurant, which wasn't McDonald's because it was in South America, but then recently McDonald's had expanded into South America so it actually was McDonald's so he ordered a big mac, but not one of those new shitty big map wraps, the old ones with at least 50 grams of fat and he got fat so now he couldn't fly even when it was dry then some farmer saw how fat he was so he abducted the parrot because he thought it was a cow but then he found out parrots taste like ass so he let it go and the parrot said I don't wanna go back to the rain forest it sucks really bad so he went to Italy instead in a boat, because the farmer wanted to go to Italy so he stowed away.
Then the bird got off in Italy and there were some fat people, and he went to Rome and it wasn't like the HBO television show so he said it was really gay, and he wanted to leave Italy more like shitaly and he told the Pope that his hat was pretty gay, so he was a Catholic heretic, so he had to go to a really shitty country like the United States, and when he got to New York, because that's where all the illegals from Europe go...
The illegals from South America go to Florida, so he shoulda went there but he was in Europe long enough to be an illegal from Europe. All the ones from Asia go to California and then the Central Americans go to Texas.
So he got off the boat in New York or Liberty City, and he told everyone there he wanted an awesome pizza, but they said he was a parrot, so he got put in the zoo, and he cussed at little kids whenever he saw them and taught them awesome swear words, so all the little kids thought the zoo was really awesome, but the parents sued the parrot so he had to go to court, but then he said "you're gay" and the judge said "yeah he wins" and the prosecution said objection but the judge said overruled, so he went back to the city and said I want an awesome pizza but then they said he was a bird, so he had to go to the zoo but it was closed, so they made him go to a pet store where he got bought by a fat ugly kid named faggot and he said the fat ugly kid was fat and ugly all day and night so the fat ugly kid threatened to kill the parrot but the parrot said fuck this and flew out the window and the fat ugly kid's two dads sued the pet store and it got closed down so then the parrot went back to New York and said I want an awesome pizza, so he had to go to the zoo but it was closed, so he had to go to the pet store but it was closed too, so he had to go on a pirate ship so they sent him to Trinidad and Tobago and he said this is really gay and went back to the really shitty rain forest, because at least it wasn't as shitty as everywhere else. Even though it was actually shittier.
A fat clown and a skinny clown entertain inside a massive circus tent competing for the audiences affection. In their attempt to out-do one another, the gizmos and gags become larger and larger and the competition more heated and aggressive. Finally, one clown unveils and pilots a clown-based mobile suit/Gundam (instead of the red chin, a red honking nose). The other clown unleashes his own mech/giant monster, and battles. Adults are terrified and offended, the kids perceive this as a dream come true among the wanton destruction and collateral damage as the massive and brightly colored giants use clown-themed weapons and attacks against one another and the surrounding environment.
Going with the 3-4 sentence ides Tom talked about.
A man named Mike is eating a bowl of cereal. Mike's friend, John, comes in and starts to complain about Mike's cat. Mike, in an attempt to get John to shut up, wears his cereal bowl as a helmet and reenacts a battle from WW2. John becomes frightened and runs away. While pulling out of the driveway he runs over Mike's cat.
II II lI
Should my story be accepted by a team, I'm open to changes and suggestions. And if anything is unclear, I can clarify it for you also.
This may only be for chemistry nerds or anyone in school taking chemistry haha...
A typical day on the periodic table
Starts out with a view of the whole periodic table.
Oxygen(guy) comes out of its usual area and goes over to Hydrogen(girl).
"Hey there, wanna bond?" asks Oxygen.
"Piss off, we're too basic together." retorts Hydrogen.
"Well babe, you can hydrolyze me anytime if you change your mind."
Oxygen, then goes over to Chloride and says "Hey, how about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
Then Chloride freaks out as Oxygen moves in. "Hey whoa, whoa. WHOA.!"
Then Sodium comes over, "Hey guys, any space for me? I saw you with Hydrogen a while ago, you didn't come for me."
Chloride: "GET OUT OF HERE! Both of you! You wanna bleed?"
They get kicked away and Oxygen falls over by Iron.
Again, Oxygen goes over to Iron. "Hey, I'll lower your kinetic energy."
Then Iron screams, "AHHHH!!" and rusts.
Camera zooms out as Oxygen continues to go around hitting on elements, but it focuses on Iodine.
"Oh Jeez," Says Iodine, then walks over to Uranium. "I'll only have yoU beside I."
and Uranium, flattered, blushes and says "I feel a bond between us, you make my atomic numbers rise!" but then, Uranium explodes. leaving Iodine alone to cry.
then Mercury, being the heavy guy he is, wakes up and says "Hey, will you keep it down there? I'm trying to sleep here."
Then Heilium speaks, "You always sleep son. You better get workin or else I'll have to send some of my boys to convince ya!"
Then Lead speaks out "But Heilium, Sir, you could do that, but we can't."
"Haha I know, because you two are so FAT and HEAVY! Hahahaha" (with a heilium laugh)
Some of the elements around Heilium laugh at his voice.
(Oxygen, in the meantime, goes to Carbon and they..."bond" if you know what I mean)
"Quiet, all of you peasants!" Shouts Argon. "Show respect for the Don!"
"But you do NOTHING!" shouts out Calcium, "We're always out here on the soil, growing YOUR illicit crops!"
"You spoke your last words, Calcium!" Shouts Argon. Then commands, "Halogens, make sure to bring Mr. Calcium over to these vulgar Oxygen and Carbon fellows and bring me back his fossil."
Then the rest of the alkaline metals (same column as Calcium) rise up and fight against Halogen.
Right in the middle of it, a hand comes over. Everyone freezes.
A teacher, she grabs it, looks at it, cringes at the missing elements and such. She puts the paper into a paper shredder.
"Ahhhhhh!" and they all fade into the oblivion.
At 1/13/11 04:14 AM, CaveStoryGrounds wrote: Story
By now you can hear my voice and with it the story of a mass murderer; no, this is more then a story. This is a warning...
A man grabs the seed of a dandelion out of the slight breeze that passes him. Cheerful and confident, this subject of positive emotion enjoys his stroll through a city park not realizing his senses lie to him. This red haired man, with his plaid green shirt sniffs a rose amongst a flower patch, and enjoys the sweet scent; the sweet scent of a pile of corpses ravaged by bullet wounds. The change in air particles briefly sharpens the sight of the mentally deranged man, and in that instant he takes breath of pain, sorrow, and an unnatural amount of destruction that he had caused.
This patient in scrubs is responsible for the genocide of Newgrounds City. He has laid waste to every figure who stood before him without even remotely noticing it. When he thought he was plucking a flower, he was tearing off heads, and during his finger painting sessions, he was rubbing blood onto walls. This man was doing far more then just picking the seeds of dandelions out of the air. This man was insane, this man was Pico.
Due to the possible restriction of sentences I have shrunk the story:
Pico stands amongst a destroyed city, though he see's a peaceful one. Nothing can stop him in his delusion. He is insane.
Even though the story has been toned down in size, I think the team that makes the story a movie will get the concept. If you need help on what I was hoping for, just look at my story which I quoted above, can be found on page 2 (with spelling errors) of this thread, and can be found on my profile here.
Any additional details you need from me just message me and I will reply as quickly as possible.
Three black chicks are having a sleepover. They are all baking cookies and painting their nails and shit when all of a sudden, one of the black girls turns out to be a fucking komodo dragon.
These two guys are sleeping head-to-toe in the same bed. One of the guys thinks the other is asleep and puts his finger inside of him. He wakes up and they aren't friends anymore. :(
This fucking Beaver is banned from his usual Alcoholics Anonymous meeting for taking advantage of young, mentally unstable women who show up. So he starts a club in his backyard for people who are into punk-rock music. This fucking hot ass guy walks in and the beaver then realizes he's gay.
Since Tom got cold feet regarding story length and flexibility for Jam participants, the following is a summary of that two-post "behemoth" I wrote.
During the Clock Crew's Flash Flood upon Newgrounds City, Sgt. John Captain (Tankmen) and a cynical rower search its flooded corridors for survivors. Neither man's outlooks inspires the other one's, but the rower is reminded of an idyllic childhood memory where he watched a sunset for the moment where the clouds change from pink to gray. They do manage to rescue a survivor--a Flash Author of some repute--which changes the cynic's perspective.
Even that summary is a bit drawn out... but at least it's open to interpretation! Either version may apply (did I mention I DID get approval from ArtistGamerGal for her persona to be used?).
Tom walks into the office one day and decides to check up on the progress of the story submissions. He looks through them and realizes that most of them are way too long and way too shitty, especially the absurd piece about him and Wade taking a shit together. This causes him to rage hard and go on a rampage.
Your average guy is walking home from work evening time, things are pretty quiet. As he's walking down a set of steps he slips and bails down the rest knocking himself unconscious. He comes around in an ambulance, hospital stuff happens and eventually a nurse starts getting fresh with him and they get down. As they are at it she slips a finger up his ass, and his something starts dripping off the ceiling onto his face. Shit goes crazy and the room warps...
He wakes up at the bottom of the steps with a hobo splooging all over his face and a feral dog fucking him up the ass.
Camera cuts between different people texting on their phones, oblivious to everything around them. Each person is in an increasingly strange/dangerous situation: dinner with girlfriend's parents, priest at a funeral, man falling off skyscraper/getting attacked by bear, etc whatever. Cut to astronaut in outer space, texting while in the background the spaceship he's tethered to smashes into a communications satellite, killing everyone's cell phone. Everyone freaks out.
chuck norris gets a case of the aids that not even a beard fisted karate chop can cure, the end.
praise be to loki for his lies are the only truth, ahmen
Just a typical day in the futuristic city of Megalopolis. A bunch of students are boarding a hoverplatform--including Our Hero! He looks around and notices another platform nearby with the most beautiful girl in school. He quickly uses his wrist computer to hack a nearby billboard, making it display a shot from her modeling portfolio.
But before he can see her reaction, there's a booming sound! Several spider robots appear and start tearing shit up. The Hero looks around and realizes he's the only one on his platform, everyone else has fled! A robot lands right next to his platform, and a woman in uniform starts shooting it. In the confusion the platform launches, falling down past the skyscrapers with the Hero and the woman on it.
Fortunately, the Hero is able to hack the platform and get control of it. The uniformed woman takes off her mirrorshades and smiles at him. They fly the platform back up.
Up above is crazy battle shit with spider robots and heavily armed police units. With the Hero piloting, his companion is able to take down most of the robots, until the city is safe again.
When it's all over, the Hero finds the beautiful model girl again--hanging all over a square-jawed police officer and posing for the cameras. He turns away dejectedly.
But then the policewoman is standing there. She offers him her hand; he smiles and takes it.
They jump off the building together.
And then, across the Great Drop, Old Jeremiah did see it. The Manna of His people. Nestled in the crease between the Sacred Scrotum and the Inner Groin. It sat in its crumbly glory as would a Holy Grail, radiating with glowing aliveness, upholding the potential for infinite growth. Old Jeremiah then did grab upon the tunic of his son, Isaac. To his son, Jeremiah did point it out and exclaimed,
"My Son, Harken unto me now! We have found it! The Golden Nutcrust."
"What, where?" Isaac replied lamely. Jeremiah's son was as of yet too young to have experienced the Golden Nutcrust in past pilgrimages.
"There boy-o, see it now! Within the cranny, below the Valley of Pubes!"
"Ah, I see it."
"Come Isaac, we must reach our goal, lest the hour grow late."
With Isaac at his side, Jeremiah cut across the Upper Thigh to the edge of the Inner Groin, where the lengths of Ballhair and Pubes grew more sparsely but were longer and could bear the larger burden.
"We must swing Isaac!" shouted Jeremiah, bending down and grabbing two Ballhairs. Jeremiah passed one onto to his son. Without hesitation, the two men leapt from their purchase, and using the strength of the Ballhairs, swung over the great void below. As the wind rushed past them, they heard a roar of rage from Larry of the Sky. Larry of the Sky did not take a liking to those who would use his Ballhair for rope and his Ballsack for ballast. Thus, Larry of the Sky sent his most devastating weapon, the Big Hand to defend the sanctity of the Ballsack.
The first swipe of the Big Hand took Old Jeremiah's life. Despite the terror and sorrow in his heart, Isaac remembered his father's instructions and held on until the Golden Nutcrust was in front of him. Isaac saw his chance and released the Sackhair and let his momentum carry him into the very heart of the warm and gooey Golden Nutcrust.
Was Isaac, son of Jeremiah, so entranced by the Golden Nutcrust, so overcome by the temptation to revel in his victory, that he did not notice as the Big Hand rushed to him from behind and dig into Issac's position. Poor Isaac never stood a chance against the beast.
Thus, the Big Hand not only scooped up the broken body of Isaac, but also the whole of the Golden Nutcrust. The Big Hand rushed up to the heavens to meet with the face of Larry of the Sky, who was sitting on a chair.
Larry of the Sky looked upon the Golden Nutcrust with great interest. He lightly sniffed at the substance on his hand. Immensely intrigued, Larry of the Sky looked around to see if anyone was watching. No one was so he decidedly stuck his entire fist in his mouth sucked greedily upon the Golden Nutcrust.
Upon seeing TomFulp's new post I have revised my story to make it less creatively restrictive.
The Golden Nutcrust
"Jeremiah and his son, Issac are two tiny people on a man's upper thigh who have been searching and finally found their people's Holy Grail, The Golden Nutcrust. They try to swing over to the Nutcrust using the man's ballhair, but are killed by his hand. The man then scoops up his nutcrust with his hand and then sucks on his hand."
Ok, here's a story I am making up as I write to help boost the contest, here on the deadline.
A new user (noob2011) submits his first successful animation (probably video game related) to the portal and gets great results, and then in the future, he becomes more powerful than Egoraptor and all the spammers, and anytime he submits things after that, people see his name and vote 5 regardless of how not funny they continue being. Egoraptor makes a point of it, sort of like he's making fun of himself, only through this fake user, so it's kind of ironic I guess. Then Egoraptor and all of Hollywood point and laugh at him for thinking he was famous. The end.
Hard to believe the above paragraph is only 3 sentences, heh? There, I hope someone wants to animate that, since I have way too many things going on at this second. Thanks again, Tom! Say hi to April and that shirt I made that I gave you to give to her.
Lizzie isn't feeling herself lately. It's like something, or someone is trying to get out. If her friends weren't all dead, they probably could've helped her.
Hey! Look over there, a distraction! *runs away*
Going with the few sentences idea Tom suggested:
5 friends sit around a table(close in shot of just the 5), fully costumed, fully in character playing Dungeons and Dragons. Each person is doing something different: Game Master is seriously into it, the "cool guy" playing with his Iphone ignoring the DM, the really nerdy guy paying attention, and the other 2 trying to role play between themselves. By the end of it, the camera zooms out to find the group in the middle of a public restaurant (Fancy or really casual), with those around giving them awkward looks as the group continues.
Hope this sparks some imagination from the teams.
Voice Acting Samples
Feel free to message me about voice acting opportunities.
(below--i think this would be funny done in Dot Dot Dot style, there are only a few sentences of imagery, and it takes about one minute to read through, the writing is used as narration to the one minute film)
so how about the day before submissions are due you can write a message to all the writers confusing the shit out of them for all the stories they wrote. it is true that most of the stories, mine included or not, are shit. but sorta thought the point was that quality did not matter. what it is that does matter? nothing does matter is what it is that matters. in fact, do six hundred words show that much more of a pictor than a couple of sentances. in a way yes i guess so but no because i could say purple monkey dishwasher which seems pretty pacific but ask your friend to draw a purple monkey dishwasher and then ask your neighbor to draw a purple monkey dishwasher and see how different the two drawings look. but if the limit is the sky what does it matter how shat and long the stories are what is funny is how they will be animated and turned to turned into a one minute video. i wouldnt worry about it if you got the animators ready to go, just do it, because if you're gonna change the deadline dont, just do let it go as scheduled. cause it seems like you asking peoples to rewrite or redue and it was starting to get a little confusing( the story post) but not enough people are gonna look before the deadline is up, which will probably lead to further confusingness. who cares. movies are gooooood.. cartoons are fun. let us go to space and visit the space station. i have read through most of the stories and most of them are distressing due to quality not length. and i would red them again but i am tired now. I WOULD LIKE A COOIKE. but besides that don't worry, just make movies for my puppy corn.
cigarettes kill, so let's all die.
Here's my story in a short summary. Feel free to take it in any direction that you want.
A man really needs a job so he takes a job as a babysitter. The thing is he clearly isn't qualified and has no clue how to take care of this child. He makes many mistakes and a series of unexpected and dangerous events occur.
At 1/16/11 09:19 PM, Johnkirk wrote: What's The Worst That Can Happen?
A boy in school sits thinking:
"Oh man, she's so pretty. Just my style too. I've heard she doesn't have a date for the dance. Why don't I just go up and ask her? But, what if I slip and fall on the way? What if I stutter and she takes me for an idiot? What if the bell rings and I am trampled by the passing mob? What if a rouge pack of pit bulls burst through the door and maul me at the most inopportune time? What if North Korea decides to hit the nuke button? Oh god, forbid, the worst thing of all, she says "no" Oh the humanity!"
"Wait a second" the boys thinks to himself, realizing the only obstacle in his way is an empty hallway. "I think I'll take my chances."
"Hey Emily, do you want to go to the dance on Friday?"
"Wow, thank you so much, I was so worried abou-gwaaahahaha" An escaped pit bull cut his sentence just short.
I really don't think this needs a 1-3 sentence summary, but I will oblige.
A boy gets nervous about talking to a girl and runs through a number of worst case scenarios in his head. He gets inspired and talks to the girl with a positive result. However, one of the more ridiculous scenarios takes place.
Aha, a shorter one..
The president is convinced by a "Youtube" guy that Newgrounds is the source of all evil and decides to blam the entire website. Fortunately, he is stopped by a lot of famous Newgrounds characters with Tom/Pico in the lead.
new one in 3 sentences you say?
it was the first day of school, and i skipped to my first class.
i heard something familiar behind me and it was professor snape.
he said avada kadavra and i died. it was the worst first day of school ever.
also, he took 10 points from gryffendor.
oh shit that was 4 sentences.
Alright, Revision time! Here we go!
The aroma of Hindenburg explosions and semen filled the air.
There I was, resting beneath the shade of a tree, which oddly enough, was on fire at the time.
Of course, it didn't take too long for the flames to catch up to me, for no matter where I ran, the fire drew me back in, like I was some kind of moth or something, which is Ironic, now that I think about it, because my mother WAS a moth, making me half-moth.
So now, if you'll excuse me, this house isn't mine. I broke into it. And now the police are on their way. Good day.
Hopefully it does much better.
Our Falcon, who art in Mute City, Give us this day our Falcon Punch. SHOW US YA PRAYERS!
Life Cycle Of a Rock.
I guess you could say throwing stones into the sea is fun. The way they look when they skid. The way they look when they sink into the salty waters of the sea. But do you ever wonder where the stone Goes? Lets go with this-A little boy throws a slick stone into the sea. It hesitates when it's done skiming, and starts to sink. It sinks quiet fast. You would think it would hit the bottom. It gets carried along with the current, and gets washed all the way out to sea. It begins to sink, and fish catch a glimpse of it. "Hey look honey, it a new species," A fish glubs. It floats farther down into the ocean. It is caught by a sting ray. "Some people don't have manners," It whispers, as it swims away. It sinks farther...farther...until it reaches the rocky bottom with its other friends. The rock scratches a shark. The shark eats the rock. It floats down to the bottom of the sharks stomach. Thats what you call a chain reaction just by throwing a rock.
I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
At 1/26/11 07:08 AM, bloodqueef wrote: Three black chicks are having a sleepover. They are all baking cookies and painting their nails and shit when all of a sudden, one of the black girls turns out to be a fucking komodo dragon.
This fucking Beaver is banned from his usual Alcoholics Anonymous meeting for taking advantage of young, mentally unstable women who show up. So he starts a club in his backyard for people who are into punk-rock music. This fucking hot ass guy walks in and the beaver then realizes he's gay.
i vote for these. are we voting? i don't know what we're doing, but these two win. extra text to kill popup messages.
Jedermann sein eigner truthahn abendessen.