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[submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories

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Blounty
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-27 22:17:25 Reply

So the story goes like this,

There is a man and he drinks some coke then all his teeth fall out then the teeth begin fighting.

Story over.


Yare Yare Daze...

Blounty
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-27 22:20:50 Reply

I forgot to say that each tooth should be cowboys like the bullets in the cartoon gun from who framed roger rabbit.

[submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories


Yare Yare Daze...

Timmy
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-27 22:38:07 Reply

Wait no - here's a better one.

Picture the movie Godzilla, but instead of a giant, laser-shooting lizard - picture a giant, laser-shooting penis stomping around downtown Tokyo.

And pico is there too.


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Timmy
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-27 22:39:21 Reply

Oh, and penis-zilla is fond of eating people.


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Timmy
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-27 23:10:29 Reply

At 1/27/11 10:56 PM, FBIpolux wrote:
At 1/27/11 10:38 PM, Timmy wrote: Wait no - here's a better one.

Picture the movie Godzilla, but instead of a giant, laser-shooting lizard - picture a giant, laser-shooting penis stomping around downtown Tokyo.

And pico is there too.
Make sure Godzilla fucks all the buildings too.

I want credit for that.

Yes - there needs to be lots of building-banging.

Especially the Eiffel Tower.

bow chika wow wow

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fluffy-fish
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-27 23:30:43 Reply

A white girl and her Asian boyfriend decide to meet up later that night at a party that is 100% Asian.The white girl hangs out and has fun with all of the Asians. She leaves with the guy who she thinks is her Asian boyfriend. They get home, get down and dirty, and she passionately moans her boyfriend's name. The guy that she is in bed with is not her boyfriend.

VectorDog
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-27 23:35:36 Reply

Late, but bah, who cares.

The Bus Stop

I saw him do it. The old man ate with his hands. Bone and flesh and all were consumed by his digits. How do they not see the horror that resides among us? What glamour protects this fiend, allowing him to walk unhindered?

Complacency. It closes their minds, but I have been awaken. I sense my purpose, my calling. I must end his life now.

Jonas
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 01:27:40 Reply

A child asks Santa for the one thing every child wants.

For the spiders to stop coming out of his leg.


Need a hot dicking?
JonasATnewgrounds.com
I do voices.

x-factor11
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 04:40:07 Reply

A newgrounds user with a electronic piano for one hand and a rainbow pencil-guitar for the other. This will be the tale of his trials and tribulations of fighting hulky, shirtless Russians to reach to THE BIG BLACK SPIRE SOMEWHERE IN WHICH RTIL RESIDES IN AND MAKES HOT TECHNO BEATZZZZZZZ MY BOI. The last part will consist of Rtil and this newgrounds user having a epic techno jam off in which the newground user triumphs over RTIL and his sick beats and obtains THE BIG RED ROLLERBLADEEES, AND THUS RIDES OFF INTO THE SUNSET AND MAKES THE GREATEST ALBUM EVARRR!!!

Emrox
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 06:56:02 Reply

A man is trying to cheat at a game show. His many attempts fail miserably, yet none of the audience members or staff seem to notice that he is trying to cheat.

UberCream
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 14:26:29 Reply

A man learns that he can turn his boner on and off by saying "SHAZAM!"

The rest writes itself.


"I'm in love with UberCream." - Max Gilardi.

supergamer500
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 14:29:29 Reply

One day, this guy gets bitten by a random tiger, then he gets turned into one. He experiences a life of a tiger. A week later, he gets turned back into a human and the tigers of his pack kill him.
THE END. THIS STORY WRITES ITSELF.

Zombie-Eskimo
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 14:51:45 Reply

So.....
Theres these people who summon the dead and shit....you know like necromancers....
but there a special type of black magic known as necrocancer

Basically people summon the dead by smoking cigarettes filled with dead people's ashes or some shit.
And like, when they exhale the smoke it will form into a creature of something and turn into it.
this shit is hard to explain but its a idea.

the main character is the only necrocancer known to still practice the method of smoking to summon the dead.
she has a tattoo of a cigarette on her neck
and she fights shit
and stuff

and i guess umm her ashes are needed to resurrect some evil dude or some shit.
and ummmmm yeah thats all i got
fuck it


Celestica

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Zombie-Pimp
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 14:58:05 Reply

To treat severe anorexia, a research group develops a rehabilitation program that gets patients addicted to playing MMO's. All patients, who were originally morbidly thin, gain weight and become obese.

RicePirate
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 15:18:17 Reply

Kratos family reunion

One day a god-man named Kratos finally pwned all the Gods and had the power to see the spirits of his wife and child (who he killed cuz Ares played a mean trick on him D:<).

Kratos was so happy to them, Kratos smiled.

He approached the spirit of his murdered family. And talk to them. Then he tried to hug his wife.

But she was pissed.

She was like, "I don't think so, Kratos! No way! I may be ded, but I'm not blind! You think after sticking your thing into all those ladies, even in a Goddess vagina, that I'll forgive you?!"

Kratos was so sad. "But I killed all the gods, all the titans, everything ... for you."

His wife replied bitchily, " So first you kill us? Then you think you can make it all better by killing everything in the world and screwing a bunch of whores? No, I don't forgive you. In fact, I hate myself for ever letting you knock me up!"

Wife of Kratos wouldn't stop talking loud, so the child spirit began to cry, "Stop yelling, please!!! Is this all my fault? I love you 2!"

But it was too late. Kratos was overcame with the anger rage, and he lashed out in fury and killed the dead spirits of his family... again.

Kratos now had nothing.

So he fall on his knees and screams like Arnold Schwartzenegger, "NNNAAOOOOOoooOOOOOOooooooooo!"

theend

PS> Some dialog may be too long, so you can cut it, okay? thanks.

~ RisePirut


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Zachary
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 15:30:39 Reply

Davidzx visits the mall with his best friends. David is forced to leave his Wii that he got for his birthday and go on an epic adventure to the NEWGROUNDS.COM mall! His friends go to a store and turn into furry creatures while he refuses the treatment. He doesn't get any battle armor because he already has his Runescape armor. In the end David comes to his senses and realizes that they were on acid and had a huge orgy.

Full story here http://zachary.newgrounds.com/news/post/
510380


.

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bmxdudleydo
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 15:34:11 Reply

Hey Tom, I hope you like this one! I typed it without stopping, and without editing, and no brainstorming of any kind. This one was fun! Hope you like it!

The following are some translated transcripts from Dr. Schullve, training nazi technology scientist. It was found at a crushed building that looked like it had just been struck with a cannon ball.

March 13 1942
After a year of preparations, I have finally managed to find the right technology to create a war machine! If I manage to duplicate this technology, Millions can be made for the army, our kind will finally rule the world! But for now, I have to deal with the one I have made. It is small, about 4 up, 6 down. I shall begin experiments with it tomorrow, along with a few other things I have planned for the science community. I believe this will be a breakthrough for everybody, including my reputation! My name will be in history books, I will be known by the whole world!
March 14 1942
I began experimenting with the machine today, and I have figured out that it only responds to a select few things. I showed it a voting ticket, and It shivered a bit. I have no clue as to what this means, but I plan to look further into it. I showed it various objects such as different foods, and children's toys. I then tried to show it an animated picture, and the results were drastic. The machine actually got up and moved up to the projector, and began to make different sounds to it. I remember the sounds faintly, but I cannot put them into words. They seemed to be different beeps and "boops", like a radio of some sort.
After the tests, I had a meeting with a few other scientists, and they were very skeptical. They do not believe I am making any progress, and I should stop testing with this machine. Of course I called them out on the absurdness of their voice. I have only begun experimenting, and I don't plan on letting a six-month project like this slip right out of my dry hands! I will be the bringer of good news to the science community. I will be praised by everybody for the amazing things I have done for the progress of science. More testing will be held over the next few days.
March 16 1942
I would like to say that some progress has been made, but then I would be lying. I have tried many things, like letting the machine react with people. The "Robot" then tried its best to talk to them. It spoke in slurs, though I am not sure how this is possible. I have not programmed it to do such things. The lead of production did give me new circuitry for this project, but I didn't think it would allow the robot to speak! The robot seems to be using a form of begging, like it was asking for something. I know this sounds odd, but it seems as if the robot has gained a mortal conscience. If these robots have minds of their own, and I begin to mass produce them, I might be considered the richest and smartest man in the world! I could get what I want, I could get what other people want, I could get what no man has!
March 19 1942
I want to say that I am the most amazed human being in the world. The robot has begun to grow! I have no idea what this supplier put in the motherboard for the this "Thing". The thing has become more hostile towards people now, even towards me. I want to experiment with this technology, but if I keep on seeing negative results through its emotional process, I feel as though that I might have to exterminate this project. If I do, it would give me time to research the thing. Great success comes in great time say some of the best. I hope to see more results over the week. If I do not, I will stop the experiment, and I will begin starting a new one. I will become the greatest, I am perfect, and once I find out how to create a real robot, I will be famous. I will be rich, loved, and I will be the greatest man in the world!
March 22 1942
I am beginning to realize that the programming in this robot is not normal. It is completely different then what I have bought from my supplier. Somebody must have tampered with it, because some many unexpected things have happened to it. Arms have fully sprouted on it, Legs are begging to grow, and It can talk in bleeps. It sometimes scream's at night, and I wonder, am I doing something wrong? I have considered telling other people about this project, other than the few that I allowed to interact with it.
The rest of this entry involved him talking about some social drama between him and his boss.
March 25 1942
I have been sure to check on the robot every few hours, to make sure he is behaving. It has fully grown legs, and it walks around the room aimlessly most of the time, making various noises. My boss is getting furious at me for the many disturbances from the basement, were this test is being held. Some times during the day, The robot screeches while holding its head, while loudly yelling "BLAM IN PROGRESS". When that is over, he rests. I think I shall terminate this project soon, since my boss is asking so much from me. "Were is all the noise coming from?" "How can one project be so loud?"
I do not want to get relived of my duties as head technology scientist. There he goes again, I must go shut-up that robot.
March 26 1942
There was blood everywhere. This robot had evolved beyond man, he has even killed man! I heard some commotion last night while I was writing in this very journal, so I went downstairs to get rid of the Robot; This project had obviously gone to far. But as I got downstairs, there were two of my assistants there, torn apart. There was blood, intestines, even skin. It was one of the most horrifying sights I had ever seen in my life. On the floor lay pieces of paper, with lowercase f's on them made out of a liquid that I know is blood. I tried shooting it with a brittle handgun that had been laying around my desk for safety reasons. But when I shot it, nothing happened. The robot just stood there, with no reaction to my presence. As I am writing this, the robot is staring blankly into the wall, like he had done nothing wrong. I'm stopping this now.
March 27 1942
I fear it may be a big mistake that I had not destroyed it earlier.I think I know what those little noises that the robot was making meant. I witnessed something I never want to see again. That noise that it was making was preparing it for something big. Something like this is beyond me, but now I know what "BLAM IN PROGRESS" means. It means it wants to exterminate someone or something. When it said "BLAM IN PROGRESS" last night, when I had just finished my previous journal entry, which must have been when it killed them. But he hadn't just destroyed them, he had destroyed my place of work, and is still wandering around. This may not sound bad to most people, but we have set our lab in the middle of nowhere, to prevent anybody from interfering. All of my radio equipment is gone, I have no way of contacting officers to help us. I need help. I don't know if anybody else is alive, but I know I am.
there was no date on this next entry.
Im scared. I need help. I'm hungry. Im not sure how long I have been down in this basement, but I know one thing. The robot is above me, and it won't stop making noises. I hear screams every now and then, but I am hearing less and less as time goes by.
again, no date on this entry.
The hunger is unbearable. I need to get out of here. I have decided to go up one level and try to escape this place. I will find help with the least bit of energy I have. I am going to keep this journal down here in this barbaric place that I used to call a lab. If anybody finds this, and I am not alive, please tell my wife that I love her. I wished to write her more, but work was piled on me. I would also like to thank my mother, for giving me the gracious gift of life. I love you both, and I hope to see you both again. I have a small map and I intend to use it to find my way back home. I can still hear those noises from above. That robot knows I'm here, and now I just need find a way out. Wish me luck, as I may never get out.


Lazymuffin <3

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dikebog
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 15:37:56 Reply

The story revolves around the adventures of an 80's detective squad Ahmed Makmhoud from the slums of India and Greg "Dangerous" Deathkill, an Australian billionaire crime-fighter. Because of Dangerous' Australian upbringing, he pronounces Ahmed's name as one syllable rather than two.

It's called, "Ahmed and Dangerous"

Winzra
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 15:53:03 Reply

A frail man sits on the floor of a pitch black room, motionless and incapacitated.

A fragment of light suddenly appears from the opposite side of the room and shines on the aged visaged. Inaudible voices are heard shouting and commanding the man inside.

A montage of shots show the officers dragging the prisoner by the shoulders to the execution room as we see snippets of the prisoners past life. These events in past and in present appear distinct in contrast having both a sympathetic and intolerable tone respectively.

The story concludes with the man being securely strapped to an electric chair and we see a close up of his shaggy and unkempt, possibly regrettable face filled with tears.

10JD
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:08:54 Reply

[I always wondered, who controls the blams?]

Day by day, Flash are submitted to the Newgrounds portal. Some featured, others awarded. Then there are those that get blammed. Nobody really knows what happens to submissions when they are rejected.Submissions are placed in the obituaries. Down there a new bot will be relieved. His appearance is still unsure, he hides in the shadows. He is known as the B-bot. Roomer say he is i giant robot Strawberry Clock. He was once the King of the Portal, now he spends his time torchering those who suck.

[This story was meant to be flexible n' shit]


Hi

Cigarettebreath
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:10:35 Reply

did you know every year one hundred and seven people die from falling icicles? why this happens you ask, with all our modern technology, well it is destiny people say, it is circumstance, god's plan. But, what if the icicles have a plan all there own...bum bum bum...


cigarettes kill, so let's all die.

Bryan
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:16:00 Reply

I screamed, it seemed I was falling into an infinite abyss. I could see nothing; I tried to move my hands in front of my face to check if I could see them but I could not feel my arms nor hands. After what felt like an eternity of falling, I could see something at the bottom of the pitch-black abyss, like a light at the end of a tunnel. My heart began to race as I thought this might be a way out, but then I mad a most horrid discovery, it would take one more block to fill the line and that was me! I didn't want myself or the friends I had come to know and love to die so I tried frantically to get out of the way but to no avail, I made it to the bottom and myself and all of my family and friends were obliterated in an instant. Then, I realized I wasn't a Tetris block, and I woke up.


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DCzerkies42
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:17:03 Reply

When a monkey becomes a man..... the monkey typical animal.... learns to use the tools and learns the way of the newgrounds thats all i have to say


Animation I want to be the Best Fucker.

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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:21:53 Reply

Tom Fulp and Mindchamber are reading Movie Jam submissions as the true "Demon of Newgrounds" has been released.

A strange demonic creature crawls itself through the internet itself, voids the laws of time and space, and releases a pheromone into each users room causing them to have consensual gay sex. Tom and Mindchamber find themselves in a semi-high quality home several days later, as if nothing has happened. Tom notices a strange new accessory on his finger. A wedding ring. Can Tom and Mindchamber continue their lives normally despite being forcibly homosexually married? And can they work as a team to destroy this evil demon?

Find out when this submission is approved.

And I mean when.


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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:22:22 Reply

i have a way better story than my last one

this one has more thought and is super unique.

So my story is called Fortress Bangers.
and theres these hero guys who at up bad people because the bad people took the king..i mean president's crystal........meth. and um
they fight people and stuff and they have elemental powers....and they have to get the presidents meth and save his princesses i mean...um...daughters

and the bad guys are like......bit foots wearing hockey masks
and yeah my story is amazing

[submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories


Celestica

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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:35:51 Reply

Tom read mine but didn't accept it, the Tetris one. /wrists

[submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories


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DCzerkies42
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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:38:43 Reply

Kids in a room.... All look at each other smiling intense like they all say you guys ready yell fuck yea or something.... then they all take a shroom and go into a crazy awesome trip which sends them into the world of newgrounds and shows them the meaning of life.... to become tom fulp..


Animation I want to be the Best Fucker.

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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:39:26 Reply

The Caveman

The Neanderthal walks out of his cave to find out that the winter is still yet to come. He looks back at his family, still sleeping. He soon realizes that the food supply they have and clothing they wear won't suffice for the cold, harsh winter. He needs to get with the hunting troop today otherwise they will most certainly die in a matter of months. He observes the woods around the cave. He is aware that the leaves turning a fiery red and then falling on the ground is a sign of winter. He also noticed on the leaf covered ground that there was a small amount of snow from last night. This was not good, the ground was cold underneath his feet as he grabbed his lucky stone club and went out. His wife noticed him leaving and knew just as well as him what he was doing and why.

He met up with his friends for the hunt. Ogg, the leader of the group, has got a good plan for the day that everyone agreed would guarantee at least one woolly mammoth that they could split up. This should do the Neanderthals family very good for at least half of the winter. The plan was that a herd of mammoth was heading through the valley to graze one last time before the winter. So they'll head out when the mammoth arrive and attack the herd. Since Ogg said there was so many of them, they're bound to get at least one of them.

Now it was time to put the plan in action. We saw the mammoth herd coming down from the mountain glacier to the valley below. There were two steep cliffs on each side with large boulders piled up at the top. Ogg and the rest of us ran behind him and just as the woolly mammoth were starting to notice us and become nervous the boulders at the top of the cliff began to move and fell down on top of the herd. Most of the boulders missed the mammoth but some were direct hits and we saw two medium sized ones fall to the ground. The Neanderthal just noticed that Ogg came too close to the place where the rocks were falling and a boulder that had to be twice the size of him smashed him to a pulp immediately.

Upon closer inspection of the cliffs where the boulders came from, there were people on top of the 30 foot cliff coming down from a makeshift ladder to collect the carcasses. These men were nothing like the Neanderthals. They were way smaller than them, infact the Neanderthal can crush him with his fist no problem. Yet they caught more food in one go than they could ever dream of catching in a week. This was confusing. The Neanderthal and his fellow hunters are starting to hide as the new people are about to notice them standing in front of their dead friends like a bunch of fools. The Neanderthal didn't know what to do for the winter and for now. There had to be at least 20 of them back in their cave. He didn't know if the new men will take all of their food, or worse, find the Neanderthal's family and kill them all. Yet he knew one thing, if they don't get wise like these new men and find better plans soon, the winter could kill them all.


Yabba dabba doo

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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:39:40 Reply

Since my team has dropped out of the movie jam, I have decided to take it upon myself to do some recordings of stories that don't make it to the jam. If you think your story is good enough, send me a pm containing your story and any style and accents you want for the story. If I feel it's a strong enough story, I will record it and you will be credited as the author in the audio portal submission.

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Response to [submit] Jan 2011 Movie Jam Stories 2011-01-28 16:40:20 Reply

Once upon a time tourists were trying to find their way around a town. They barely spoke english and were hard to understand. A bald internet man asked them how brian the dog could talk and confusing them even more. They got lost.

The End