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Yami's short stories

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Yami's short stories 2010-02-03 20:15:09


This is a collection of any short stories that I have or will write.

Comments and Critiques of my past and future work are welcome.

This first piece was written around four years ago and was a failed attempt at a Newgrounds story. I was actively involved with paltalk at the time.

"Return of the memes"
Chapter 1: Welcome to Paltalk

The Sun shined in on a bedroom filled with a vast collection of teenage paraphernalia. The bottle of baby oil shone like a flame next to the sleeping boy. The light awoke him, and he sat up with a blank look. Suddenly memories from the night before flashed through his head. " Paltalk... why was I on there last night?" He ran his hand through his hair and looked up. There on his ceiling was a lone sticker with the Newgrounds logo on it. Suddenly, he remembered why. " The Redesign! I was waiting for it!" The boy quickly hopped out of his bed and landed in his computer seat. He pushed the power button and the Windows XP logo appeared. "Welcome Matt." His desktop was ready for action.

He double clicked the firefox icon and a message appeared."You quit firefox unexpectedly in you last login. Would you like to restore your session?" Matt clicked yes and several tabs in the browser appeared. "Myspace, Hotmail, and Nick.com? My brother has been using my computer..." He Quickly exited Myspace and Nick.com. He logged into his hotmail account and began to check his inbox. "Spam, Spam, Spam, hey, free penis pills!" Matt clicked the link and instead of a sea of spam there was a picture of a man streching his ass open and a voice booming, "HEY EVERYBODY I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORN" Matt quickly exited the browser and grabbed his chest."Jesus that scared the shit out of me! I hope nobody hea-" Matt heard a knock at his door."Matthew are you okay? It sounds like you are looking at gay porn." Matt bagan to sweat he quickly responded,"No mom, it was just Goatse!" There was a moment of silence and Matt heard fading footsteps. Matt sighed as he put away his copy of "Dan Malo Monthly"

Matt wiped the sweat from his brow and Double clicked the Paltalk Icon. The paltalk browser appeared and he typed up his username and password and the little bar saying "Logging into Paltalk" filled. Matt typed in Newgrounds in the search bar and turned on the adult feature. Matt clicked the "NG Fan room" which had an alarming number of users online. When the room opened up matt was welcomed to the Karaoke stylings of Burnzoid and a bunch of users saying,"WADE WHEN IS THE LAYOUT GOING TO BE DONE?!?" Matt broke a smile and said," Looks like Wade brought his whole myspace friends list."

Response to Yami's short stories 2010-02-03 20:18:42


It needs a lot of work, though because you said this is so old I will go no further.

Post new stuff please.


Failure should push you until success can pull you.

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Response to Yami's short stories 2010-02-03 20:36:44


At 2/3/10 08:18 PM, TrevorW wrote: It needs a lot of work, though because you said this is so old I will go no further.

Post new stuff please.

Okay, well this piece was intended for the halloween monthly writing contest, but I was too ashamed of it to even consider posting it after I was done. This is one of my lesser pieces.

Horrorpunk Mansion.

"Pshhhhhh.... ZZTT! Trick or Treat!"

A small boy stood at the door of a giant mansion with his steam powered candy container extended, eagerly awaiting any delectable treats the resident of the house. As he waited he surveyed his surroundings. The yard was mainly desolate and instead of trees there were mechanical art pieces that had sharp blades hanging from them. The boy had been standing at the doorstep for a good three minutes before he decided to leave.

"Guess nobody is home..." The sound of steam releasing from his container drowned out the sound of the door opening behind him. As he began to walk off he felt a bony hand on his shoulder. The boy jumped and turned around to see a tall skinny pale man with a mechanical arm standing over him. He stood up and looked at the man in amazement. The gears in the mechanical arm all moved in harmony, like clockwork as the man extended it to reveal sweets.

"Sorry my boy... I was in the middle of an experiment... I can't believe it's already Halloween! Time ticks away very swiftly in my laboratory!" spoke the man in a broken tone. He tilted his head and watched the boy's candy container open and close, and sure enough the boy took notice. The man seemed to drool slightly at the sight of moving machinery and his eyes were fixated on each individual gear.

"Boy, what is your... name?" The man smiled.

"Josiah... what's yours mister?" Josiah wearily questioned, not really wanting to give away any personal information.

The man's smile turned into a wide grin as he shook his head and backed away. "No, no, no... there's no importance in my name at the moment... why don't you just come inside and see what I've been working on?" Josiah hesitated, but his young adventurer spirit beckoned him into the unknown. "Okay."

The man grabbed Josiah's arm with his mechanical one and walked towards his front door. Josiah looked back as he entered the house and noticed that the art pieces seemed to wilt over the walkway behind him and block any possible escape. Josiah gulped as the door shut behind him.

The interior of the mansion was amazing, there were pipes, gears, cogs, and various other components working all together like a clock. Josiah noticed that there was a lack of any sort of organic substances on the interior of the mansion. The floors were not of wood, but clear glass that revealed a series of complex pipes and tubes steadily working. The walls were the same too, it was as if the whole house was a machine. Amazed by the house, Josiah failed to notice he was released from the grip of the man, and he was ten paces ahead. Josiah watched the man walk with an almost inhuman limp, in fact it was! his leg was probably mechanized too. It was not as obvious with the sounds of steam and grinding machinery deafening it. As Josiah caught up he noticed the man steadily looked back at him to see if he was following and slightly snickered as they began to descend a spiraling stair case. Josiah felt as if it was taking hours to reach the bottom and he was partially right because the stair case was spinning in the opposite direction that he was walking. The man was no longer in view and Josiah had just had about enough of whatever this man was planning.

"Mister, sorry, but I've gotta get home... maybe another day?" he yelled downwards in hopes that the man would hear him.

Suddenly the air around Josiah became dense and Goosebumps began to form on his skin. He looked at his arm and began to rub his Goosebumps away. When he looked up, everything in the house was still. No machinery, no noise, no man, and worst of all no escape. The doorway behind him was gone and there was only a rusted wall. He noticed that everything around him was rusted too, the pistons, cogs, and pipes were all rusted and dead. He decided to descend the stairs completely, now that they were motionless. When he reached the bottom he looked around and there was nothing except a chair on a platform, besides that it was as if he was inside of a glass box surrounded by pipes and gears.

That's when he heard the noise. This noise was common, but for some reason it was bone chilling. He quickly turned to the stairs to run, but as he ran up the steps he saw it. There was the man. Dragging himself down the steps with a sickening grin as the parts in his mechanical arm and leg creaked and grinded against each other. Josiah's legs gave out and he tumbled backwards down the stairs knocking himself out on the way down.

He awoke with the feeling of moist breath panting on his cheek. He looked around and he was strapped into the chair with various needles sticking in and out of him. The man's forehead was pressed against his looking into his eyes with that same sickening grin. "P-please mister, let me go..." The man just laughed and stepped back, creaking with every step.

"This mansion isn't just any steam mansion... it runs on water of course... but it's greedy from where it gets it's sources..." The man chuckled. Josiah knew where this was going and tried to get up and escape but only caused himself to be punctured further by the needles.

The mansion boomed to life as blood trickled out of Josiah's legs. The pistons once again began to pump, the cogs once again began to turn, the pipes once again began to exert steam. Josiah's screams fell upon the ears of only one as his skin began to dry and wrinkle, his joints became painful to move, and his eyes began to sink in. The man silently watched as Josiah fell back into the chair motionless... eating his candy.

Response to Yami's short stories 2010-02-06 18:18:32


At 2/3/10 08:36 PM, Reaperyami wrote: Horrorpunk Mansion.

I loved the description of the house. I also think you did a nice job with setting a futuristic scene without explicitly saying so. There was definitely suspense, as well.

In the writing, though, there was some repetition of words in some spots, so that's just something to look out for. Additionally, I wish you had described a little more about how the house uses his blood to function. Because you said it ran on steam, so you might want to explain how it uses blood to do that.

But overall, it was pretty good.


[quote]

whoa art what

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