At 6/29/09 03:45 PM, Spiff wrote: By the way, I'm loving the Daniel Tosh signature. I'll have to make my next one based on my favorite comedian as well.

Haha, actually, this guy made it, and I liked it as well, so I kind of stole it from him, but he knows and he actually liked the fact that somebody liked his work. Thanks though man.

And yea, Sam, you can join.

Well... I've heard more then once that my life sounds like a movie. From growing up without my parents in the worst neighborhood in Vegas, to falling in with a bunch of skinheads, developing severe drug, and alcohol addictions, to learning martial arts, and fighting for money in parking structures, and backrooms of small business'. I've had a very strange life, and i've learned quite a lot along these short twenty years.
EpicFail actually invited me to join after I sent him a message trying to help him with some things, so do I still need to ask to be a member???

If anybody ever wants to hear some crazy stories, feel free to query into my past. I'm not ashamed of any of it, but I have learned from it, and I would love to share my experience.

At 6/29/09 10:52 PM, TheFaces wrote: If anybody ever wants to hear some crazy stories, feel free to query into my past. I'm not ashamed of any of it, but I have learned from it, and I would love to share my experience.

I actually am kind of interested. I actually have a very picturesque life. Parents never divorced and never fight, live in a small town, not too many fights or serious danger here, and just stuff like that. So I would like to see the real (not from movies) other side of it.

Trust me Michael, the other side of it, well, it kind of sucks.

Right now the biggest problem I am going through is that it's summer vacation, and my girlfriend is going out of town constantly.

She is out of town right now, has been for five days, I basically see her every day or two, so being away from her for five days is hard as fuck, then in about a week she is going out of town again for who knows how long, and she is going camping with her dad constantly as well, I may be allowed to come once, her dad won't mind, but my dad decides to be a dink in situations like this and has absolutely no trust for me, I have a hell of a lot less trust than my older brother did when he was my age, and he was a very irresponsible and immature teen.

At 6/29/09 11:04 PM, EpicFail wrote: Trust me Michael, the other side of it, well, it kind of sucks.

Indeed. It's a lot cooler when you look back at it, and tell the stories, then when you're actually experiencing it.
Then again, looking back at it isn't fun all the time either. My body is pretty worn, and broken from fighting all the time, and it sucks to wake up in pain. Or seeing scars, and remembering the pain. I have scars that will be with me for the rest of my life, and I have to live with them, and never forget some of the awful things that i've done.
It would be easy to envy you, and wish that my life was that simple, but I wouldn't trade you for anything, because I wouldn't be me if I did that.

She is out of town right now, has been for five days, I basically see her every day or two, so being away from her for five days is hard as fuck, then in about a week she is going out of town again for who knows how long, and she is going camping with her dad constantly as well, I may be allowed to come once, her dad won't mind, but my dad decides to be a dink in situations like this and has absolutely no trust for me, I have a hell of a lot less trust than my older brother did when he was my age, and he was a very irresponsible and immature teen.

Well that's the problem right there. He's assuming that you'll be just like your older brother was, and thinks that you're going to screw up also. Try sitting down with him, and possibly try to work out some sort of deal. Offer to do something in exchange for him allowing you to go on the trip.
This is a pretty big gambit, because one of three things can happen. It will be something agreeable to you, and you'll get your way, or you could possibly have to do something you really don't want to do. Or worst case scenario, he's going to ask you to do something that you just won't be able to do, and he may even be disappointed at your reluctance.
Well that, or he could just say no, but if he's like most people, you'll spark his curiosity, and he'll come up with some sort of menial task that you probably won't like, but it should be doable.

Just remember he was young once. Just try to appeal to that side of his humanity, and try to revere his decision with respect.

Hello group. Just some random tips for whoever may be reading.

It is a known fact that our health is being effected by the degree of happiness we feel inside of us. We know that the happier we are, the healthier we become. The more we can avoid a stressful life and live happy the more disease resistant we are.

If we go through turbulent times in our lives most of us are able to find peace in the idea that bad times will pass eventually.

However it is important for us to realize that we have the power to change if we choose to.

If we want to feel happy our social environment is of course of the utmost importance. Therefore we must learn to be less judgmental about the people we care for and learn to accept them the way they are. After all we are all unique individuals.

So, make the decision to be a happy person and follow the self motivation tips here under. Use them as self motivation exercise in order to acquire the necessary self motivation skills, which will help you to become a much more happy and healthy person.

- Be Grateful

There is so much to be grateful for. Take some time each day to think about the things that are good in your life. Make a list of these things and look at it from time to time, so that you are regularly reminded.

Take some time to specially thank the cook for preparing you that wonderful dinner, thank the taxi driver or the friend who drove you home safely, thank the dustman for taking away your garbage, thank the mailman for bringing you your mail each day. By doing this you will make a shift and feel different inside.

- Laugh As Much As You Can

We all know the expression: Laughter is the best medicine. So, if you know a good joke, tell it to your friends and family. Also try to see the humor in some of your own funny habits. Believe me, we have some real peculiar ones.

- Exercise

Run, jog, go to the gym or do something that stimulates the endorphins in your body. By doing regular exercise you change your physiology, you change your body chemicals, which will make you feel different, so you start focusing on different things.

- Leave The News For What It Is

Are you one of these people who can not start the day without having to know what's going on in the world? Let go of that urge. News is stressful. Over 99% of it is bad news. Believe me, you can do without it.

- Practice Time Management

One thing we all have in common is that we share the same amount of hours in a day and the same amount of days in a year and although we say it often enough, we don't realize enough that time is far too valuable to waste.

Time Management is basically a list of rules. And the rules of it can help us to waste less time. First we have to set our goals, then we need to plan them, we have to make our To Do lists and we need to prioritize them.

If you use these basic skills you will be able to work through and finish your list on a daily basis, which will help you to experience feelings of happiness and contentment.

- Work Hard

Working hard creates enormous personal satisfaction. When you have finished certain tasks you will feel that you are capable to accomplish things. And that will help to have a sense of value about ourselves.

- Learn New Things

Learning is an enriching exercise. Try to learn something new each day. It will literally expand your world and it will create more opportunities for you in the long term. Use the internet, for instance. It can provide us with infinite amounts of information.

- Express Your Feelings

Learn to express what you feel. Learn to show affection and warmth to the people around you and in that let go of your fears. Remember that fear is our worst advisor and it's bad for our health.

- Find Spiritual Connections

It would be good for you to find some sort of spiritual connection. By being in touch with spirituality on a regular basis you would foster deep inner peace. Part of this could be meditation, which is a great way to gain inner peace.

- Help Other People

Each individual feels energized, good and warm about himself after helping another person. Be a volunteer somewhere, be a practical or financial help to someone or see how you can otherwise contribute to society. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

I hope this article is of value to you and I hope you realize that these self motivation tips are the key to happiness. Therefore I recommend you to use these ways as self motivation exercise in order to obtain the necessary self motivation skills.

At 6/30/09 11:10 AM, Fro wrote: Hello group. Just some random tips for whoever may be reading.

These are all very fantastic tips to help, I've performed all of these in the past, I am sure.
And they really do help, the smallest thing of enlightening somebody elses day will really improve yours, a very close friend of mine plays the guitar, and I was down in the dumps, him and I were chatting on msn and he told me that Marty Friedman is a beautiful guitar player, all I said to Justin was "So are you." and he was literally like "Oh my god! That made me so happy dude! Thank you so much!" Etc, and just having the idea running through my head that I had actually cheered somebody up, really made me feel like a fantastic person. That's why I want this group around, because a lot of people need to be told that they're not the only ones going through shit, there are other people alike, and their moods can be brought up and down, and we also are able to help them get through many problems in their lives.

Thank you guys, so much for being a part of this.

I'd like to join, I help out my friends with problems all the time and (I think) I've gotten good at helping people. But I also need help.

I'm not sure how normal this is, because whenever I bring this up with people they act like I'm insane or immature or stupid, but I'm terrified of driving, and I'm really reluctant to ride my bike on the road. I'm seventeen, and I just started driver's ed today. For those of you unfamiliar with California driving laws (I'm assuming most of you are), you can get your permit (which allows you to drive with family members/responsible adults) at fifteen and a half, and get your restricted license at 16. Most people do that, but obviously I'm pretty late here. Assuming I pass everything and such, I'll get my license at 17 and a half.

But back to the point here, the road terrifies me. I'm cool with riding in a car with people, because I'm not the one controlling it. But when I think about driving, the concept of having tons of metal at my disposal, I get stressed out. I'm terrified that I'll hurt someone or their property, or kill someone. And I'm also afraid of fucking up on the road or not knowing what to do and having people make fun of me, or get angry, or honk at me. Scenarios that go through all my mind include pulling into an intersection when it's not my turn, realizing my mistake, and not being able to reverse or go forward, or my car stalling or stopping or outright refusing to work in the middle of the road and not being able to do anything about it.

I can't really explain how much I hate the thought of driving, but I can't just not get a license, because our society mandates that you have a license, and people would make fun of me even more if I didn't get one.

At 7/1/09 03:38 PM, D3NTATUS wrote: I'd like to join, I help out my friends with problems all the time and (I think) I've gotten good at helping people. But I also need help.

I'm not sure how normal this is, because whenever I bring this up with people they act like I'm insane or immature or stupid, but I'm terrified of driving, and I'm really reluctant to ride my bike on the road. I'm seventeen, and I just started driver's ed today.

This is a huge one, seeing as how important driving is in society these days, as you stated in your post, you realize you feel as though you are going to NEED to drive.

It is not very important though, if you look at things in the ways some do, I know a lot of people older than 30 years old, who do not have their licenses, there is also a nerd in my area, who looks a lot like Napolean Dynamite surprisingly, who is terrified of driving, I only know this because we used to make fun of him for walking HUGE distances.

It is alright for a person not to drive, think of it this way, you can always take buses, or other means of public transport, if you do so, you are helping the environment, it is safer for other citizens, and that's a bonus since you are afraid of hurting somebody.

Riding a bicycle would be even better, sure it takes more time, but it's a lot better for the environment and people...

Now I am sure you have heard all of this stuff already, and thought about it, and I am certain none of it interests you... I am not sure how you can overcome your fear, but I think that maybe once you get behind the wheel of a vehicle, and drive in the street like everybody else is, you will realize it is a lot easier than you thought it would be, and a lot less scary... I wish I could help you more... I really do, I am not sure though, I wish you the best of luck in everything, and I will think of some things throughout the day, it's Canada Day today, so I won't be online tonight... I'll be around the city doing who knows what... I probably won't even remember, if you catch my drift.

At 7/1/09 04:00 PM, EpicFail wrote: It is alright for a person not to drive, think of it this way, you can always take buses, or other means of public transport, if you do so, you are helping the environment, it is safer for other citizens, and that's a bonus since you are afraid of hurting somebody.

The problem is my area doesn't have much in the way of public transport, so if I need to be somewhere at a certain time, there's probably not a bus for it.

Riding a bicycle would be even better, sure it takes more time, but it's a lot better for the environment and people...

My area is really hilly :( Plus, I'm scared of riding my bike in busy areas, and I live at an intersection of two highways.

As for becoming less afraid after learning it's not such a big deal, that's what everyone has been saying to me about it. If they don't outright make fun of me for it, that is. I hope that it's true.

Part of what makes this such an ordeal is that I need to be independent, but my only ride is my parents. I can't, say, pick up a girlfriend for "alone time" with my parents driving, hahaha. I guess I'll drive eventually.

At 7/1/09 04:14 PM, D3NTATUS wrote:

Part of what makes this such an ordeal is that I need to be independent, but my only ride is my parents. I can't, say, pick up a girlfriend for "alone time" with my parents driving, hahaha. I guess I'll drive eventually.

Exactly, also, people say doing one thing everyday that you fear really helps you become the person you want to be, and make you feel better about yourself, so maybe this could be good for you, driving. If you fear it, but you still do it, that's really big of you, and you realize how important it is, that's fantastic.

At 7/1/09 04:14 PM, D3NTATUS wrote: Driving.

Well even though i'm a mechanic, and I work on cars all day, I drive quite often, and i've owned quite a few cars, i'm with you 100% on this matter. I get really nervous when somebody is driving right behind me, or when i'm in a high traffic area where there are cars all around me. This is one reason I own a sports car. Simply so that I can easily speed up a little, and get away from everybody else. I slow down after I get a fair distance away, but I just can't stand being surrounded. The more you drive though, the more you get used to it. But the fact is that you will eventually make a mistake, and you will probably eventually get in an accident if you drive for long enough. Shit i've lost four cars because of accidents already. One of which was my admittedly my fault.
The worst thing you can do while driving a car though is to panic. If you feel yourself getting to freaked out, just pull over, and wait until you calm down. I can't really offer much more advice then that, then to start off driving mostly late at night, when there isn't as much traffic out, and get used to it as much as you can before you really start driving during rush hour.

Hey guys, I've been sick for almost two weeks, and today I finally decided to go to the doctors, I've been sleeping mostly this whole time, and I am getting worse and worse, the doctor said the way I'm describing how I feel, it sounds like I have Swine Flu, he stuck these weird strips up each nostril of mine, and said they're Swine Flu tests, he gave me these pills I have to take to stop the diarrhea, and the other pills to get rid of the disease/flu.
My little brother is now avoiding me because he doesn't want to catch it, yet whenever I was awake he'd either come watch movies with me or try wrestling with me. It's making me feel like shit because I am sick.

Also, my girlfriend and I broke up, I have no idea why I broke up with her, but I did.... And now my ex and I are talking again, and we might be getting back together, but she has trust issues, because every guy she has been with since me has hurt her, and I've been pouring my heart out to her, and trying to get her to believe me, because when I tell a girl something like how much they mean to me, etc, I honestly mean it, it's nothing to lie about in my eyes.

Her and I went to a movie the other night and there was a guy there she knew, who tried having sex with her the first day they met, he got her drunk and tried that, he lives out of town, but as soon as she told me about it, I was pissed off, and I literally wanted to go fucking kill the kid, I would have if I had the chance, but I told him straight up that if he ever goes near her again, I'm going to put him in the hospital at the very least.

I don't know what to do anymore though guys, a lot of shit is going on in my life, and it seems like my life is falling apart right in front of my eyes.

At 7/6/09 09:38 PM, EpicFail wrote: sad stuff

That's a lot to cope with dude, I don't blame you for being upset. I have a strong will and a huge ability to carry on when all hope feels lost, but even with that, this would be enough to knock me on my ass.

Thanks guys, but I just don't understand, if we're supposed to be enjoying our time on Earth, and our lives in general, why does shit like this happen? My life is constantly going down the drain, deeper and deeper, I haven't been happy in the longest time, the only time I am close to feeling happy is when I am asleep, and I have a dream where I am happy.

I can't even enjoy my own fucking life, I'm seventeen years old and all this bullshit has to happen to me, I've been a good person my whole life, I respect everybody unless they disrespect me, I do everything I can to be a good person, and it feels like I must be doing something wrong or something, because I feel like right now, I'd much rather be dead...

I don't see a point in living if I can't enjoy my life, it seems rather pointless to me, to live in a shitty world where I'm never happy, and things keep getting worse.

At 7/6/09 10:18 PM, EpicFail wrote: something, because I feel like right now, I'd much rather be dead...

To me, not much could be worse than being dead. I'm mortally afraid of death, I'm afraid to drive a car, or fly in a plane. I don't want to die young...

At 7/6/09 10:26 PM, Spiff wrote:

To me, not much could be worse than being dead. I'm mortally afraid of death, I'm afraid to drive a car, or fly in a plane. I don't want to die young...

I wouldn't want to live old, I hope to die before I am thirty-forty years old, I am unsatisfied with my life, and the world, I wouldn't want to go through an entire lifetime with it.

Man, I do see a doctor, but they don't help, all they do is listen and give you pills that are supposed to help balance out the brain that is fucked up and stuff and it doesn't work.

I feel like my only reason to live is for my ex-girlfriend. We've been talking about getting back together and she says she needs me, we've been through hell and back together, and I love her. She is the only girl I have ever truly 100% loved, and we're going through a shit load of drama, and stuff, and it's all driving me insane. I'm probably just going to have to start smoking again, I've quit for about a week but I think it would help if I started again, because I can't deal with so much stress right now, not now!

I see a psychiatrist, but haven't lately, felt no need to.

Ex girlfriend doesn't understand at all, and is lately putting more stress on me.

I would smoke right now if I could, but I am broke and can't leave the house.

Just an update for everyone:

Today I went to my mum's, she invited me over for a swim and supper. When she picked me up everything was fine, we stopped off at the store, bought food and cigarettes.
We were acting just like we used to before we began hating each other.
It was nice.

When I got to the house my little brother and his buddy went straight to the pool, I was not feeling up to swimming just yet, so I sat in the kitchen, had a drink and listened to my iPod.

My mom walked up to me and said "I'm cutting your hair." I'll let you guys know right now that I love my mohawk, there is a good story behind it, and I wouldn't lose it, ever.

I told my mom she wasn't allowed to do that, she can't just ignore my existence for 5 months and then bring me over, to pick my ass about my haircut.

She told me not to talk to her like that, so I ignored her, she started talking about how much of a freak I look like, and how she hates me, etc.
I told her to grow up and to stop being so immature, and so she decided to call my dad to come pick me up because I was being 'disrespectful'.

My dad answered the phone, and my mom says, "Come get him, you piece of fucking shit!" to my dad, so he calls my cellphone, and asks me what the hell is going on. I told him everything and while I am on the phone my mom yells, "Come get him, before I kill him!" I stopped instantly, and began bursting out laughing, my mum had called the Police on me numerous times in the past, and this was a perfect opportunity for me to give her a taste of her own medicine.

I got off of the phone with my dad, kicked the table, and listened to my music, while waiting for my dad.
Clayton, my mum's wife walked in to the kitchen from the back yard, and started bitching at me, saying "Smarten up!", I told him to go tell that to his wife, and he started beaking me, calling me names, etc.
He told me to get the fuck out of his house, so I grabbed my stuff and I left.
I told him when I walked out the door that I could call the cops and I am not afraid to, he said "Good, go ahead." So I did :D

I phoned emergency and the police arrived about 5 minutes later, the officer walked up to me and said, "You're mom freaking out again?" I laughed at that, because they obviously know my mom has some issues or something if they ask if it's happening AGAIN.

He went to the backyard, and talked to my mum, then he talked to me, and then he went to the backyard again, with me, to talk to her. He told her that I said she threatened to kill me, or said she would. And my mom, being the perfect little bitch she is says, "I would NEVER say anything like that! NOOO! If I did I sure didn't MEAN TO!" I laughed and the Officer asked me what was funny, so I looked at my mum and said, "Don't fucking lie to him."

The Officers talked for a bit to each other and to my mom, then my dad came and got me, my dad said to the male Officer that my mom did say it, he could definitely hear her yell it over the phone, the Officers took my side of the story they said, and the whole thing is going on file in case anything happens in the future.

I am so fucking sick of her shit, I gave her a chance to be my friend and parent again, and she fucked that up, so I am officially done with her, I won't talk to her, I won't answer the phone when she calls my house, I refuse to answer any of her text messages, ANYTHING.

On the drive home, my dad got a phone call from her, and she is accusing me of stealing her purse.
My dad asked me if I took it and I said no, he didn't really believe me because I had stolen from her before, so he searched my backpack and found nothing. He made me empty my pockets for some reason too.

He called my mom and said I didn't have it.

I get text messages from my younger brother saying that my mum is forcing him and his friend to look around their area for the purse because she thinks I am hiding it somewhere.

I talked to him about it, and told him I really hadn't seen it.

Then I get messages from my older brother who I have a bad history of violence with, and he had ignored me for about the past 7 months.

He told me to tell him where it was because he knows I took it, and he didn't want me to get in to trouble. I told him that I knew he doesn't give two shits about me, and that I don't know where her purse was.
He replied to me saying I was a fucking freak show, society hates me (good thing too!) and that the family is disgusted with me.

I told him I will always be a better person than he is because he runs around saying he's a nazi, and beating the shit out of the minority and stuff, yet he is the one saying I'm a disgrace to the family, etc.
He kept trying to cut me down but I said I never touched the purse, and his childish insults meant nothing to me, and I know I will always be a better person than he will, and he has a bright future for himself spending life rotting in jail like the rest of his family.

Great night for me guys!

A lot has gone on this past 24 hours, and I have come to the conclusion that my mother will no longer be a part of my life, I sent her this message only 5 minutes ago on facebook.

Mom, I have wanted to say this for the past five years, and I decided that now was the best time. I am ashamed that I came out of your body, and I feel that the only reason a person may look down on me is because I have your blood in my body.

I am disgusted by the way you live, and act. You have never done anything good your entire life, all you've done is treat your friends and family like shit, you don't have a single care in the world except for yourself.
You have a lot of growing up to do, and you need to realize that this is the truth, you're probably laughing at this, I don't really care, this is an opinion from a person who used to love you. You fucked up your entire life, you realize that, and you will never be a happy person, I know you won't.

Just because you are ashamed of yourself, it does not mean you need to bring others down with you. The way you guys are picking on me is the most immature thing I have seen in my entire life, you remember how the nerds get picked on in school by all the 'cool' kids? That's how you guys are treating me. I have a big group of people ganging up on me, and you guys can't bring me down. You may be standing to watch me fall, but you're going to be standing for an eternity.

You guys mean nothing to me, and I am glad I made the decision to get you out of my life now. You all disgust me. I am never speaking to you again, I refuse to be a part of your life, and I won't let my children be a part of your life either, you don't deserve a family who cares, which is why I am leaving, because I was the one who cared for you the most. I would have done anything for you.
But that's all gone now, you don't mean shit to me anymore.

Threatening to kill a son is pretty shallow, just remember what you've done.

Did I do the right thing you guys?

At 7/14/09 07:05 AM, Lizzardis wrote:

Maybe you could help her...

No, I've tried, countless times, throughout the past 3-4 years all I've done is try to help her, and she doesn't accept my help. I've given up, and all of last night my little brother was over there, and he said all that they did was trash-talk me for like 2 hours straight. If they can not accept me for who I am, I don't want to be a part of their lives.

I think you did the right thing Epic. As long as you are happy with your dad, then stay with him and let the rest go. Family can go a long way, but when they are trying to drag you down and hurt you, for whatever reason, then you need to let go and look after yourself if they wont.

To be honest, I feel really sorry for your mom right now. You seem like a good guy, and I would have been happy to have you as a friend or family member, I think she has really lost something treating you as she has. On some level, a part of her probably knows this, has probably known this for some time, which is probably making her lash out more, which is very sad. Regardless, you need to live your life, gather up the pieces and start putting them together into something you can be happy with, even if it takes some time. Let the past go.

You seem to have a good thing with your new/old girlfriend. Take your time, trust issues are very difficult to get over, they need to be worked on one little bit at a time. Don't rush anything, enjoy what you have and take it easy. :)

Life can be hard, but personally, I don't see it as a test, but as a chance to learn. When I lost my mom, February last year, it was an extremely painful experience but I have learned a lot since. I learned to be a lot more independent, I learned to cook, I learned to pay a lot more attention to the people around me, I learned the value of good friends and family who are willing to help you out, forget about the ones that wont. I have also learned to accept my dad as he is; a self absorbed fool who only thinks about himself and occasionally offers out grand gestures as the only way he knows of expressing his feeling to friends and loved ones. My life, though still lacking directing career wise, has come along way since mom died, and I know I have have a long way to go yet. I try to look for ways to grown and learn in all things now, not easy, particularly when life throws you a knock. I had depression for about 8 years, in various degrees of severity, and it still comes back to haunt me. When it does, I just turn to the things that make me happy, usually art, music and stories, and just pull myself back together and pick myself back up again. That is something I will probably have to do time and time again till I die, but I will.

I know how intense things can be, how strong things can feel, particularly when you are still a teen. Life is all a progression of changes, some small, some huge and you seem to be going through a massive change at this point in your life. Just hold on, look after yourself and the people that matter to you, don't let the assholes in the world drag you down, no matter who they are, try to have fun where you can (though best not to get into trouble when you do!) and try to live a good life - mohawks, drum kits and all, if that is what you want! ;)

I hope things improve for you soon.

At 7/26/09 12:31 AM, tftftftf555 wrote: I can't believe I killed this thread :( Sorry guys.

Anyway, if anyone wants to try to convince me to keep living or whatever, go for it. You don't have much time left. I'm thinking about killing myself soon.

Why? That is, why would you want to kill yourself?

I would love to join this group, if you would allow me to do so. I've been told by various people that I am good at giving advice, so hopefully I can carry that trait onto this group here at NG.

At 7/26/09 05:38 PM, tftftftf555 wrote: suicide

You're young dude!
Listen, I have attempted suicide, countless times, been in and out of the hospital for it, in the psych-ward, etc. You have a lot of stuff ahead of you in life, there will always be some negative, but you can turn each negative in to 100 positives, and it is possible. I have done it, and if I can do it... You can all do it.

You need to think of things like this, you are your own god... Your entire life is in your hands, you have the power to make your life better or worse. I know shit can be tough dude... But it is in your hands to turn that around, and you CAN do it, with a little help, anything in the world is possible. You said yourself that you have people in your family and groups of friends who love you, that there is a step towards positivity.

You need to take every single negative in your head, and not let it take you over, once a negative gets in there, it will split in to two negatives, then four, then eight, sixteen, and so on, it will continue to double. Depression is all in your head though, and you can definitely change it, the thread is to be used to some help, and we are always here to help you...

And to the guy wanting to join, everybody is welcome here.

It is very difficult to overcome depression, especially now that I have a job, I hadn't realized until today that I had missed my pills for the past week because of work, and everything is all messed up now that I finally took one again, I am on 150 mg of effexor (sp?) and nothing is making any sense to me right now, therefore not going to work today, there's no point in me going if I am stumbling around like a drunk Irish dude.

At 9/11/09 12:20 PM, tftftftf555 wrote: The next time I try to kill myself, I won't fail like I did the first time. No one on this thread is helping me, so I'm probably going to stop coming here. Thanks to those that tried though.

Psychiatrists don't help, you're right. But you do have a long life ahead of you, and eventually you'll get out of the shit that you're in, and things will get better.
Like we stated earlier, we are not professionals, but we want to help as much as we can.
I've been going through depression for over 3 years, and I'm still not completely better, but every day is a challenge for me, and daily, I try harder, and get better.
Do the things you enjoy man, I just got a great girlfriend as of September 7th, and it has helped me out a lot, I do love her, and I know she cares a lot about me, and it just means a lot to me to know that somebody does care a lot about me, and does love spending time with me, etc.

Also, things you enjoyed when you were young, try doing them now, I watch children cartoons a lot because it cheers me up.

I'm in a huge pickle in my life now guys, but I am always going to be checking on the thread whenever I get the chance. Always here to help you all.

If you don't have time or just don't want to read a long post, then skip this one.

First of all, you have to know that my mum and dad were divorced. This happened when i was 3 years old or something like that, i can't remember it anymore. So my childhood wasn't really normal, but i didn't know better. And i never really had problems with it either, as far as i can remember. Ofcourse i wanted to know why my parents were divorced when i got older, but that's another long story.

A couple years ago on a Friday, i came home. My mom seemed worried and i asked her what was wrong. She said that my dad was going to visit my sister that day (she lived somewhere else because of her study) but he never showed up. My brother was going to my dads house to check if he was there.
This was really odd, because my dad wasn't the person to forget this sort of thing.
My friend who lived in the same street as me was with me, but he had to go because he had a karate training. I decided to go to his training with him to clear my mind a bit. That didn't help ofcourse, because i kept thinking about what could've happened.
When i got home my mom told me that my brother was at his friends house. He saw that my dads car was still in parked in front of his house and that the curtains were closed. We called the police.
A few moments later they called back. They broke into my dads house and found him on the toilet. He passed away.

About two years later my mom found a new boyfriend. She already had one before my dad passed away, but that didn't work out. This time time it was different though. Everything happened pretty quick, because a year later they were going to marry and we moved to the town he lived in.
It was like a fresh start. It was a bit hard at first, but soon i made friends at school and everything was going pretty good. Until now.
A few months ago we discovered that my stepdad had cancer. Fortunately, they could completely remove it and after that happened he should recover pretty soon. But he didn't. Sometimes it was really looking good, but the next moment he was really weak, confused and sick. He went to the hospital a couple of times, but he never stayed long because it looked like everything was fine again. Last Friday he was taken to the hospital again. He had a surgery and now he's recovering very, very slowly. I went to this hospital this afternoon and it was really hard. He could barely speak and looked really weak. It was so hard to see him like that.

Meanwhile, i met this girl. Not somewhere you'd expect though, but on the internet. We just started to chat and it was fun, so we gave eachother our msn and continued chatting on msn. Now i really like her, but i don't know if i want to meet her. I mean, what if she's really different in real life? What if we don't get along at all? Also, i'm afraid to tell other people about her. It's still quite a taboo to meet a girl on the internet, even if it wasn't my intention.

So yeah, my feelings are quite mixed at the moment. I'm really sad, because my stepdad is in the hospital. I'm really happy because i met a nice girl and at the same time i can't decide if i should meet her or not.