At 11/8/09 06:57 PM, EpicFail wrote:

At 11/6/09 11:47 PM, Sealander wrote: I could post a little something.. more like a LONG something for tomorrow,

Waiting ...

I don't think he's going to post it.

Well, i'm pissed. My Turtle Beach headset broke, so that basically ends my music career for now.

At 11/10/09 04:34 PM, Prodigal wrote:

Well, i'm pissed. My Turtle Beach headset broke, so that basically ends my music career for now.

That's a shame. Sorry to hear...

My mom is in rehab as of yesterday evening.
I'm proud of her, but we'll have to see how long she stays this time.

My girlfriend is doing a lot of hard drugs again, and it's making me feel like shit, I talked to her about it, and she said she's doing ketamine on new years and then she's done with any hard drugs... Still, it's not enough.

At 11/10/09 05:56 PM, EpicFail wrote:

At 11/10/09 04:34 PM, Prodigal wrote:

Well, i'm pissed. My Turtle Beach headset broke, so that basically ends my music career for now.

That's a shame. Sorry to hear...

My mom is in rehab as of yesterday evening.
I'm proud of her, but we'll have to see how long she stays this time.

My girlfriend is doing a lot of hard drugs again, and it's making me feel like shit, I talked to her about it, and she said she's doing ketamine on new years and then she's done with any hard drugs... Still, it's not enough.

Well I hooked up ye olde speakers and presto, music is back!

Good to hear about your mom, it's fantastic to know that things eventually worked out for now. As for your girlfriend, I can't say anything. I'm no good when it comes to drug help.

Sorry!

Anyone know any good ways to deal with an inferiority complex?

Fuck this shit.
I've come home every day earlier than expected, and all that happens is I get bitched at.
My brother and I are going through an extremely rough time here, and all he can do is call me these dumb fucking names that a thirteen year old comes up with (he's the 13 year old).
And then when I fucking retaliate I get in shit, the thing is I just tell him to shut the fuck up usually, and stop being a dink.

Apparently I am a miserable person, everyone here hates me, or some bullshit, point is, I'm getting kicked out, or something... Dad told me to leave.
So fuck it.
I don't even give a fuck anymore, I'll freeze outside tonight if I have to, and hopefully I die during my sleep.

thank you guys for writing such funny reading material

At 11/10/09 07:14 PM, EpicFail wrote: Fuck this shit.
I've come home every day earlier than expected, and all that happens is I get bitched at.
My brother and I are going through an extremely rough time here, and all he can do is call me these dumb fucking names that a thirteen year old comes up with (he's the 13 year old).
And then when I fucking retaliate I get in shit, the thing is I just tell him to shut the fuck up usually, and stop being a dink.

Apparently I am a miserable person, everyone here hates me, or some bullshit, point is, I'm getting kicked out, or something... Dad told me to leave.
So fuck it.
I don't even give a fuck anymore, I'll freeze outside tonight if I have to, and hopefully I die during my sleep.

Well seems that your life gets better, and then just crashes down again.

These are hard times, and with that kind of thinking, you won't get anywhere. You have to toughen up, face your problems. Find a place to stay, make sure that it's someone you can trust. Sleeping out in the cold is worse than freezing to death, you'll probably get Pneumonia and die a more painful death than expected.

Life isn't something to throw around like that. It may be as bad as it is, but you can only look forward and hope for the best. This is coming from a 14 year old, someone who barely knows anything about this world yet I try to cope with others to make it better. Only you can make a good outcome out of this, I'm with you virtually along the way. Please don't threaten yourself like this, you're only asking for a painful and excruciating death or just the pain itself. You're being put through these situations as a test from life itself to get you to act appropriately in these situations. It's only what you make of it. Just make the right choice.

Oh and, guy who thinks this is funny, Go away, these are serious problems with serious people, and guys like you that come here to laugh at our problems is probably the most idiotic and unthinkable thing against humanity to do. We all have problems, so if you think your life is perfect, think wrong. There are consequences for behaving this way towards others, whether it be on the internet or in real life. Watch your back if you act like this frequently.

At 11/10/09 10:36 PM, Prodigal wrote:
Oh and, guy who thinks this is funny, Go away, these are serious problems with serious people, and guys like you that come here to laugh at our problems is probably the most idiotic and unthinkable thing against humanity to do. We all have problems, so if you think your life is perfect, think wrong. There are consequences for behaving this way towards others, whether it be on the internet or in real life. Watch your back if you act like this frequently.

If you have serious problems then get better help, possibly from a professional. NG BBS is the last place you wanna get help.

At 11/11/09 05:43 PM, TacoFreak wrote:

If you have serious problems then get better help, possibly from a professional. NG BBS is the last place you wanna get help.

Yeah well not everybody has a chance to get professional help.
Prick.

At 11/11/09 05:43 PM, TacoFreak wrote: If you have serious problems then get better help, possibly from a professional. NG BBS is the last place you wanna get help.

What EpicFail said. If you haven't noticed there are actually people like me that care for others on the internet, and I act as a shoulder to cry on and I give advice from time to time. What have you done? You mocked our problems just because you got it better than us, like I already said.

Professional help can be very one sided as well, better to get multiple choices based on others opinions rather than get a prescription for anti-depressents from your "professional". I think the internet is a great place to vent out knowing the fact that there will be at least one person that understands.

blank

At 11/12/09 09:59 AM, TacoFreak wrote: blank

Website link at bottom right made me laugh.

Bump?

Not a whole lot of new going on in my life.
Back at home, been playing MW2 and hanging out with my buddies smoking weed. Pretty boring lately.
It almost appears as if I'm completely out of school, and might be getting a job soon.

At 11/15/09 01:21 PM, EpicFail wrote: been playing MW2

I feel like the only guy without that game. My Xbox is broken anyways, I'll probably get the game at Christmas

At 11/15/09 07:11 PM, Prodigal wrote:

At 11/15/09 01:21 PM, EpicFail wrote: been playing MW2

I feel like the only guy without that game. My Xbox is broken anyways, I'll probably get the game at Christmas

Eh , I wouldn't spend my money on it, it's not AMAZING, but it sure is good. A cool storyline for sure.

Also, got in a fight with mum, dad, and grandma today, over nothing at all. Now I'm going out to get high, cheers.

I heard it has a shitload of more guns :D

At 11/16/09 12:27 AM, Prodigal wrote: I heard it has a shitload of more guns :D

Yeah it does, it's alright I guess.

Hoping I can post here.

Well, my problem goes a while back. Almost all my life people have been fucking with me just to harm me, and I never understood why. Probably because I was the quiet kid, but nonetheless, I'd do nothing and still be bullied.

Nowadays I don't have that problem, I stand up for myself and no one really tries anything. The problem now is disrespect. I don't talk about people, and when I do it's a nice version of the truth from what I've seen them do. I never mess with people in a joking way unless it's a really close friend because I know it bothers most of my peers. Everyone thinks of me as nice and quiet. Nowadays though, it seems some people that I thought of as friends are changing to the point where they aren't themselves anymore, and they challenge whatever authority I have over the groups I hang out with.

Today I assaulted a kid who was messing with me in a way that I thought was completely against any moral code. He's been an asshole all year, but this time was too far. My girl broke up with me yesterday, but before that he'd been joking that he'd laugh if she broke up with me soon. So, after yesterday I put 2 and 2 together and found out that he knew before hand, and he was just trying to fuck with me. So the first time I saw him in class I just went up to him and started punching him. Obviously I was suspended, got a lecture, etc. My parents are ok with it because I told them exactly what was going to happen. (honesty is the best policy to them, etc)

Really, I just don't know what to do about people anymore. I feel like I don't belong there with any of those people, but I have friends in every little group and clique. I'll be going into the Army anyways after high school, so I don't even know if I should care about them or not. But until then, the school years are increasingly slow and torturous, the teachers being dicks and the students seemingly becoming increasingly retarded.

Also my sister is back with her boyfriend that tried to have her jumped, and he's the one that got her hooked on meth. She was on weed, coke, and alcohol before, and my parents have kicked her out about 5 times. Her boyfriend is in jail and is facing at least 6 months (thank fucking god) for being a complete moron and being arrested in a hilarious sequence of bad choices.

Problem with my sister is, that after high school, she just completely lost all functional common sense, at all. She left her fiance (my almost brother in law brother, he's cool) and her child with no warning, went to her first boyfriend, got hooked, etc. And I completely lost all respect towards her. I've been telling my family that I think we should make her change her last name. I do not consider her family in any way with the things she's done to us and in general. This is also the first time in my life that I've considered hitting a woman.

I've also gotten the "Let's just be friends" bullshit in 3 different ways by 3 different girls who came to me saying they liked me, not the other way around. shit sux.

I guess if this is a bad post you can ask a mod to delete it, I don't mind. Just hoping I could get some secondary opinions on my situations.

First of all, with school.
I was the exact way before I dropped out, I hated everybody, I had a few people who I considered to be friends, I later just started growing a sort of hate for everybody, I could easily point out their flaws and I was realizing how big of dumbasses they were being without meaning to.

You did the right thing with that guy, although I would have confronted him first, your life though, not mine.

About your sister, honestly, don't give up on her, her boyfriend is in jail for 6 months you said, you have time to talk to her, show her that you care, maybe you could do an intervention or something. My mom is in rehab right now for cocaine, and if I learned one thing throughout her addiction for over 4 years is that you don't give up, once you lose hope you lose everything.
I hope the best for you and your family, and I hope your sister can realize what she's doing is killing her and all of you. Best of luck.

At 11/20/09 06:17 PM, AlanaLocke wrote: I feel suicidal.

Yeah, you also PMed me saying you think you're a pedophile.
That's funny. I love how worthless fuckbags like you come in to threads where some people really do have shit going on in their lives and actually need the help, and you just think it's all a fucking joke.
Life isn't a game, it is a test, how far you're willing to go, and how far you'll push yourself in order to make it.
Everybody who has seriously posted in this thread is pushing themselves daily, we've all got shit going on in our lives. Don't come here and ruin what we got going.

At 11/21/09 04:06 AM, AlanaLocke wrote: Well sorry, but the professionals you speak of don't help. It's impossible to "remember that things will improve" when things have been the exact same for the past 10 years. I don't want to hurt my parents by killing myself; but I'm not gonna sit here and watch my life pass before my eyes for the next 10 years like I have for the previous 10.

Nobody CAN stop you. But it's good that you don't want to hurt them, because suicide does hurt parents, even my attempts in the past have really torn my father apart, as well as my mother.

Maybe you just need to take a stand, and look for that change you need in your life, don't let anything hold you back in your life, you know what you need and what you want, we all want something we can't have easily. Go for that one thing, and maybe it will help.

I feel this thread is starting to be a base of jokes. If you don't have anything decent to say, then turn around and go away. Believe it or not, we are actually trying to virtually help each other through words here, and by coming in and saying O I FEEL SUICIDAL WITH NO EXPLANATION doesn't cut it. Nice, long posts that have a story to them are what we are looking for, so that we can break everything down and actually get shit done.

All I can say about my life is, My friend's girlfriend got her head smashed into a bus shelter and then got punched after. She's okay now, but I fucking hope things don't escalate. I got a printer for christmas (Yeah, my mom knew beforehand Christmas would be a problem so she got something before the rush) and I'm content with it. I still wish she had more income, this is starting to get bullshit.

At 11/24/09 10:11 PM, Prodigal wrote:

All I can say about my life is, My friend's girlfriend got her head smashed into a bus shelter and then got punched after. She's okay now, but I fucking hope things don't escalate. I got a printer for christmas (Yeah, my mom knew beforehand Christmas would be a problem so she got something before the rush) and I'm content with it. I still wish she had more income, this is starting to get bullshit.

Yeah, I know what you mean.
I'm not getting Christmas gifts this year unless my dad gets a second job, but I got my best friend who is buying me a carton of cigarettes. I guess that's good enough, all I really EXPECT for Christmas anyways, something small.

More income would be nice in a lot of families too, this Christmas is going to suck dick now that I think about it, my mum's husband had to spend 5 grand to get my mom through 5 weeks of rehab.
And my dad is just a broke-ass because he spend it all on alcohol and dog food. It's a shitty deal, but I'm dealing with it I guess. Lately, I've been so stressed, I think my girlfriend and I are falling apart too, I just keep smoking weed, it really does help me forget about my problems.

Uh, hey. I think this is the right place for this. This is something I've been experiencing for as long as I can remember, but it's hard to put it into words. I'll try though...

Basically, I think there's something wrong with me. I dunno if it's a split-personality, schizophrenia, or what, but I just can't shake this feeling right now. What happens is, is that I'll talk to nobody. I'll talk to this 'other version of myself', or so I call it and how I like to "report" (weirdest thing ever) it to myself. Yeah, I'll talk to it. A lot. Sometimes out loud when I'm alone or in my head when people are at my house. And I think up responses to talk back to myself. It's not like I'm lonely or anything, I have plenty of friends, but i don't think i could talk to them about this 'other version of myself'. I can't stand listening to their day-to-day petty things; and i dunno if they would understand what i'm talking about with this stuff. I can barely even get through to them about my thoughts on the government or religion, or anything other than stupid teenage highschool crap.

But this part might sound kinda strange. I feel like, I'm not me. I'm this other version. even when i'm by myself, i'll still act a certain way that feels like it's not me. When i'm sitting alone in my room, i'll still not act like me. oh sure, it might be 'like' me, but as long as i 'report' it to some strange authority figure in my mind, then it'll be ok. not like i'm confirming it, but more like i am in a way. And then i'll talk. I'll say things as if this other version is there with me, but still is me. i say things. Not like some idiot narrating his life, but real conversations; roleplaying in a sense maybe? But it's not like it's this crazy fantasy that I've made up to get away from things i don't like about myself. I hate this other version. i want to be me, but not this other Bob, y'know? And i don't even know me; and i'll think up conversations weeks before carrying it out, and then i get so into this 'other' character that i become it when amongst friends. And i mean, not like making up some cool nifty sentences that sound outa place; i'm talking like years of talking and thinking not my own thoughts but those of this other version and then i become this other version, but not me if you follow. I always ask myself 'who AM i?" it's really odd. I'll yell 'stop' at nobody because i'm tired of not being in control of my thoughts. i'll perform really strange things too. I'll jump and hope that i leave it behind; or i'll blink twice, bite teeth 4 times, and blink 5 times. It doesn't make any sense, but when i 'invent' a new practice, i'll think that i solved all of it. maybe it's denial, maybe it's just the fact that i'm desperate. I think it's good that i still care about this, and i haven't let it or him or whatever the hell is happening take over me completely, but i still feel extreme emotions that i don't even know how to describe and it's really starting to drive me insane. I hate it. all of this that's made up in my mind, a giant illusion really.

Well, it feels good to vent this; but i feel like i need support from somebody. i don't care if you have no idea what i'm talking about; i just need to know that somebody cares just a little; because maybe i care too much. or maybe i need to care more. but it'll be good to hear someone thought of this struggle that i've dealt with as long as i remember and care or something.

Thanks...

At 11/26/09 05:13 AM, PinballWizard976 wrote: Stuff

I'm no help at this point when it comes to this. You'd best speak with EpicFail about this one

Sounds pretty serious though, and probably embarasing at times by the looks of it.

Well, I don't think you're crazy. People who are crazy usually don't know it or won't admit to it.

I don't know much on what to say though, I've never had to go through something like this in my life, although sometimes I do too feel like I am not really who I am. But I always just blamed me changing.
I don't know what to say man, I really don't, I wish I could be a help to you, I really do but I don't know.

At 11/27/09 02:56 PM, EpicFail wrote: Well, I don't think you're crazy. People who are crazy usually don't know it or won't admit to it.

I don't know much on what to say though, I've never had to go through something like this in my life, although sometimes I do too feel like I am not really who I am. But I always just blamed me changing.
I don't know what to say man, I really don't, I wish I could be a help to you, I really do but I don't know.

its cool man. ive been thinking about having a professional's opinion but ive had bad experiences in the past with shrinks. thanks anyways though

At 11/27/09 06:52 PM, PinballWizard976 wrote:

its cool man. ive been thinking about having a professional's opinion but ive had bad experiences in the past with shrinks. thanks anyways though

Shrinks aren't always a bad idea man, I regret seeing all of mine but I just never had one who understood me, it's like finding a perfect girlfriend.

Well guys, I'm right back to where I was before...
I feel like I'm fucking alone in the world, and that I'll never get through my depression.
I felt as if I was so close just a few weeks ago, but nothing changed.
My life is getting worse and worse, everyday my family and I fight.
The things that my family says to me make me want to fucking die, I get cut down daily by a fucking 13 year old child who I can do nothing to in retaliation because I'll get sent off to jail probably.

I am having a lot of anger problems, everything is building up inside of me, and once one thing seems to go wrong, it triggers me, and I start freaking out. I punched a number of holes in my hallway walls because my brother simply called me a 'retard'. I said it was the fact that he does it everyday, and it does bother me because compared to my family, I pretty much am retarded.
They're all a lot better than me, I mean, I'm the drop out, who can't get a job, all my friends pretty much hate me now, and to top it off I'm only ever really happy when I'm drunk or on drugs.

A good pal of mine is trying to get with my ex girlfriend, who I just RECENTLY broke up with because we never got to see each other enough, and things were kinda sour. It bothers me a lot because I still care so much about her, and he doesn't give a shit. Like, I love the girl. I really do.
Her and I were talking the other night, and one thing lead to another, we started making out and ended up sleeping together. I don't know if it meant anything to her, but it did to me.

I'm sick of fighting my depression, I really am. It's an everyday constant battle, and I'm losing. I'm not strong enough to beat my depression anymore, I was close but I just fucked it all up.

I've been thinking so much about suicide lately, it's unbelievable. My thoughts are back to the first time I attempted, I feel the same way.

I don't know how much longer I'm going to be around, I really don't. I'm just going to drink away my problems, and once I'm sober I'll feel the same way I do right now... So at the end of the day it doesn't even really matter, because I feel worse and worse no matter how much I drink or how much drugs I do.

I'm waiting for my mom to get out of rehab for a lovely drug called cocaine, she's out on Friday, and I plan on seeing her. I think that maybe I'll just see her one more time, and that'll be it. I don't wanna stick around in a world like this, not in the life. I'm in constant physical and emotional pain, and I don't want to go through it anymore.