hmmm

this deserves a long review "and" a special story line.

quick overview
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intro 0:00 / 0:52 - waking up in factory, brought to life.

early 0:53 / 2:31 - everyday life, emotionless cubical work, falling in line like a machine.

middle 2:32 / 4:17 - vocals (someone speaking on a bread-box or perhaps a worried friend talking to you)

end 4:18 / end - Stayed home from work, phone ringing off the hook, sitting on bed head in hands thoughtful and sad at same time.

for hole story see below
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start/0:52 - Your on your back on a conveyor belt rolling through a dark factory, all you can see is black and white, machines piecing you together bit by bit as your carried along. Your not the only one in this factory.

0:53/1:41 - you awake in bed as if it was a dream, you get dressed, looking in the mirror you see your body is robotic and metallic.

1:42/2:22 - You head out your front door, you look around and see everything is mechanized to some extent or another and everyone is gray. You walk through the city to your work.

2:23/2:30 - you see an electric jack hanging in front of your work station, and you plug it into the back of your neck as you always have.

2:30/ 2:45 - Reality seems to simply fall away. Then you hear the voice of a stranger.

2:46/4:17 - you work while listening to the voice as if in a trance, you never payed it any mind really as it was always the same voice you've always heard, but this time it sounds different, after a while you lose your trance like state and listen, your vision turns blue, then green, then all the colors start to fall into place one at a time bringing color to your vision.

4:18/end - the metallic components of your body break off and fall to the floor. People are shocked as you run out of work shoving them out of the way, you run outside, the sky is gray with lightning and the buildings are metallic silver. The people stare at you with their soulless gaze. They to are all still gray and robotic. You run through the city shoving people out of your way as you escape, the electric jack is still stuck in the back of your neck, but no cable is attached to it.

Interesting

Nicely done, has a sorta industrial vibe to it.. instro is a bit long but effective use of white noise.

I think your synth work is too high in the mix an your drums are too low in the mix. Your kick could do with more of a thud to it and the snare could have a bit more of a snap.. like the snare in the action break.. maybe not right away but build into it.

The quote sounds spot on, I really dig this track, needs a bit of tightening up imho but very good so far

Nice altogether.

The intro is a bit long, but it sounds weird and good. Then the real thing comes, the drums do sound cruncy. Is that a guitar? It souds good, but it's so low and distant in the mix it's kinda hard to hear. Piano chords fit great with the monolouge. That part sounds damn beautiful. I haven't heard the texture in the background anywhere, how did you make that synthish windish thing? Then it moves on picking up the middle part- a bit of a change for the ending would be good though. As I said, nice altogether.

Nice synth work, monologue and crunching drums.

I can see where some people might think the intro is a bit long but I thought it was fine. Due to the length of the piece, it does seems a little repetitive in spots - only a bit though. Maybe next time around you should add a break every 4 bars or so to keep it a little more fresh. I guess we could talk about the psychology of that as well - by adding a break or two here in there to make a few bars stand out, you might be able to reinforce the message of the monologue - the breaks representing a person here and there that somehow stands out from the rest... I dunno - nevermind me man...

The drums were certainly nice & crunchy but they could have been a bit sharper - they felt good but a little distant... if that makes sense... Perhaps decreasing the density of the piece might have helped. Not sure how you could go about that though - maybe a gate with some aggressive settings...

I did like the monologue though, it broke the piece up nicely and te reversed reverb on it here and there gave it a sort of dreamy or even dissociative feeling. I've always been a fan of that effect on prose. :)

Overall, I think you could have taken a chance or two and pushed it just a little more, musically - but even where it sits, it's worth a 5/5 from me.

Great job mate!

sweet

I wasn't too bothered by the intro but ya it was fairly harsh on the ears. However, it did give this piece a unique sound. The part where the drums kicks in is cool for a while but I felt it went on a little too long. The melody wasn't very discernible and all I really focused on was the chords which never really changed during the first section after the intro. The drums were pretty cool and a lot of the sounds you used were pretty interesting. The bridge with the monologue was my favorite part. Good pads, good effects, good tonal choices. I liked the swelling pad in the left and how it interacted with the keys. Keep up the good work. 5/5