Okay. I have a lot to go over. I'm just going to start from the beginning.
That fade in pad is super dope. It's a perfect pad. I works with the incoming melody. Then comes in the vocals. I first of all, want to say, that I think this song would be so much better without vocals. And if you say to me, "well I worked so hard on those vocals why tell me to remove them from the song?" Well, here's some advice. I've tried vocals before in my song. But they didn't work for two reasons. One, my voice was out of tune, and two my lyrics were awful. I'd say that for this song. The vocals at some point were out of tune. Then the lyrics were okay, but they could definitely get some improvement. But the vocals were okay. But in my opinion they ruined the song a bit.
Then next in the song. The melody has a bit of ducked. No! This is probably the worst thing you could put in this song if the spaces aren't filled. You have no filled spaces in this song. That's why you cannot use the ducker effect. At least take it off from the vocals. Then it will give it room. Plus when the vocals are ducked, you can't even understand the lyrics. For some reason these vocals remind me of Drew Love's vocals.
Now comes the build up of the song. Not very good. It still ducked. You should have made a better breakdown and then a build up. Because what I heard in this song was not a breakdown. It did not have the breakdown pads that dubstepish and synths would usually have. The kick is not a good option. A snare would be a much better option. Please, you basically destroyed the build up with that kick and ducker. At 1:10 you should have started the build up kick. It would have been a lot better.
The drop. This is okay. It does need a bit of work. Not all drops are perfect I'm just saying. But the drop synth is not good. It's needs more pads and more synth leads for drops. But it just feels way too empty. But I do know in this song that your more focusing on the dubstep genre. I don't write dubstep, but I do play around with dubstep effects and dubstep drums. So I know this song is more aimed towards dubstep. But you need to take another close look at this drop because a ton of flavor should be there, but someone took it away. Quick, find the flavor. Okay, some flavor might be more sylenth1. But actually sit back down and improve this first drop. A major part I would say is missing in this drop is a sub bass. Sub basses are very important when it comes to making drops. But actually sit down and work on this drop.
Then in the same drop dubstep comes in. This dubstep makes the drop sound a lot better. But then when the vocals come, it just kind of ruins it. I also think that drop is way too long. I don't like to listen to long drops. Drops should only be a maximum of thirty seconds. Or eight to sixteen bars. This is a drop way too long. I think it could definitely be shortened to a length so that everybody can still enjoy it. I love those sweeps after the drop finishes.
After the drop you do the same thing again! You ducker everything! You really need to understand that ducker is not the key to everything. I've heard some incredible build ups with ducker, and they're incredible. But this song is not made for the ducker to be all over this song. I would recommend watching some youtube tutorials for some advice. Panos Savvidis would be a good guy to watch. I watch his tutorials all the time. And don't say you're too experienced. Because with this ducker, you're not.
The second drop is better than the first one by far. The dubstep is a lot better. It's a lot shorter. That's what also makes it better. But I do think it's too short. I want more of that second drop. If I made a song like this, I would treasure that drop and trash the rest of the song because to me, making a song with a drop, is the drop that matters. Obviously people make jokes and trash songs. They have these really good build ups, and then the drops suck. Because they don't care. And I think you have just a little bit of that. I wish you took out the first drop and replaced it with this second drop because the second is a lot better. Then for the second drop you could make something a lot more epic and cool. Something nobody would expect. I would recommend watching Andrew Huang's video on 147 ways to write a melody. Because you can learn a lot from that. I learned a lot from it. But yeah, dubstep better suits this song.
The outro of this song is bad in my opinion. The vocals sound really bad with the outro. But that's all that's really bad about the outro.
Overall, I think it was okay. It had a good melody. I think four things ruined this song. The vocals, ducker, build up, drop. Those need to be improved. But besides that, it was a good song. I think it has potential!
Thanks!
Zophar!
