It's a solid visual novel type, you just have a couple of editing issues.
1. "curl down your shine." Spine, right?
2. "I knew I didn't choice." Let's insert that "have" between "didn't" and "choice."
Storywise, it's pretty typical of any manga or anime that involves some ho-hum high school guy and a mysterious girl. So I'm sort of hoping it'll change up a bit to be more refreshing.