pretty sad story, man his wife puts up alot. i liked the animation and the story was pretty enganging
Reviews for "Episode One"
shineon responds:
thanks so much. don't worry, its not always quite so sad
Yes.
Portland is the only place in the world.
shineon responds:
yes it is
It is sorta hard to find this vid because I searched shine on in movies and it didn't show up. Maybe because it is called "Episode One"? Anyway, the facial expressions were really good and overall this vid is funny. If I had to make one suggestion it would be that sometimes the voices sound similar so it seems like one guy is doing all the voices.
shineon responds:
thanks for watching and thanks for the feedback. we actually have two guys on voices but one only does wendy. the other guy doesnt have what it takes to hit those high tones.
Animation is good, fluid. Sound is pretty good. The jokes TAKES FOREVER. "Oh I'm Mr. Olmen. " '45 minutes later" Nope, not 45 minutes, it felt like a f*** hour.
You don't need a 1 min intro. Just reduce it a little bit, reduce the lenght and fasten the pace of the script.
During that joke you could use a series of sharp cuts introducing the caracter (graphic humor [ The mayor, his mother etc) with a resumed part of the joke. You don't have to show every line of dialogue.
I know It's probably a tribute to the 60-80's sitcons, but I was bored to death.
The caracter design, Jack and Al are way to similar and have no chemistry together, a little bit of variety on their traits could remove it from the current estate, a monologue.
shineon responds:
while i appreciate your feedback, i hardly think that swearing at me is entirely necessary. i would love to see your work sometime, so that i can get a better idea of how to write a show