Get on wit it already, how long do we have to wait here for it to play?
Oh there it goes..
Wtf did I just play..
Reviews for "Ascent"
My experience with Ascent: At first I was a bit boggled on how to get started. Getting past the beginning bit (since you aren't started under the main cluster of stars) ate up a good three to four minutes of my timer. After figuring it out I managed to shoot about, learning the ins and outs of the controls as I went. It was a bit difficult, but I found the exploration required to find the best route upward somewhat rewarding and entertaining.
I was a bit annoyed when I hit the stratosphere and the open world was constricted to a small looping section of screen, but I continued upward, driven on by the music. I was a bit turned off when the religious scripture started popping its way through my screen, not because the game is religious mind you, but because it forces you to lose all your speed, to the point that your almost "crapped out" of the top of the bubbles, falling right back in. Presumably this is done so that you can read these little pearls of wisdom. Still I ventured upwards, on and on, through barren starless sections, often propelled only by the crawling slowness of text bubbles, which more and more seem to throw out logic and reason for religious dogma and damnation, scratching my way to the next cluster of stars. Finally as I reached the apex of the stratosphere, my timer ran out. Fifteen minutes and not so much as a game over screen. Just a simple "too slow, start over" message and bam, I'm grounded. Fifteen minutes of my life gone, but dammit I'm persistant and this time I'm more prepared. I start again.
Whiring about the more familiar skies above and then racing through the stratosphere. I realize that the only way to conceivably get through in time is to attempt to avoid the text bubble traps and conserve my momentum. I race as fast as I can and burst through the stratosphere unto a wide open section of space. I'm once again treated to the thrill of exploration for the most beneficial path, but now it is somewhat strained by the ever pressing timer ticking down. As I go I notice that, while fewer, the text bubbles now bring comments that are far more controversial and potentially offensive than before. Not just fire and brim stone ranting, but active hate speech. I was beginning to feel quite uncomfortable as I continued upwards and climbed on, guided by large arrows of stars, racing faster and faster toward the certain end... my timer ran out again. I grew disgruntled and angry as I glared at the little black man standing in the grass. Then something occurred to me that left me quite tickled.
Despite this presumably being a soap box for "intelligent" design and out and out religious hate speech, it seems more to represent the opposite. The little man reaching for the stars, racing freely through the sky is suddenly restricted as religion enters the picture. All his open possibilities are constrained to a single unquestionable path, and all his fluid movement and thrilling speed are put to halt the moment you come near any religious dogma. It's almost as though the game is trying to illustrate all the roadblocks that religion has placed in the way of mans progress. It is perhaps ironic that the only conceivable way to win at this game is to do your absolute best to avoid the constant interference from religion. It will punish your with a game over for making a few mistakes at the very beginning of your little black man's life, but it will only do so after you spend an exorbitant amount of time desperately reaching forward.
The music suits the gameplay well, the action is entertaining while it lasts, and I found myself enjoying myself a fair bit. The time limit is an "artificially added difficulty" as I've heard the term used and does very little to add to the enjoyment of the game, and detracts quite a bit of the enjoyment as you will almost certainly fail on, at the very least, your first run. When you have no clue as to what your doing. Still it is a fun and simple game. 4/5.
I didn't get to the end, so I'm not sure if all those religious bubbles were meant sincerely or if the lesson is that getting anywhere near religion sends you plummeting down to Earth.
I carbon dated this game, and it was made in a good 5 or 10 minutes.
Yeah, this game is clearly not for me