Well, the paper have bad luck and that is it? xD I really liked it, creative and funny; the cigarrete scene is hilarious!
Reviews for "Papers"
Surn responds:
Glad you liked it. Mr. Cig and Tapeworm-Santa is glad too.
Like the main character of the piece, this whole presentation seems quite disjointed. I can see from the movements of Papers, that he is supposed to move like that, but the plot flowing in the same sort of way is not what should be put across, I feel. Try putting subtitles in and when there are breaks in the narrative, you need to move quickly and seamlessly to the next part. This can be achieved by either aggressively cutting the piece, or more probably by adding narrative lines, to drag that side out.
The different characters that you have there are great, with the mugger and the landlord. The landlord would benefit from the subtitles the most, as I thought he was saying "rape", as opposed to "rent".
Giving a little more to this piece, you could certainly have been set for the first part of a potentially successful series. I was hoping it wasn't Clock Crew, when I heard the narrative from Speakonia and I was pleasantly surprised. I wonder what else you can have happen to Papers. Why not work on something good happening, rather than all being bad?
[Review Request Club]
Surn responds:
Well I'm glad you found the cartoon enjoyable. Overall, the depressingness would seem to be the most common complaint and you would seem to be right about too many bad things and not enough good things happening to Papers. As for subtitles, I'll probably pass on that unless I have a character speak in a foreign language. Thanks for your input.
I liked the story, and the idea. However, the voices could have been better. I didn't like the robotic sounding voice over, or the quality of the sound used for the characters. If you improve that, I would love to see the series!
Surn responds:
Yeah, I guess I should substitute out the Speakonia voice. Thanks for your input.
This flash was more depressing than it was humorous, but still not bad.
Graphics:
The art worked well enough with the flash but still could have been a bit more detailed. The animation was pretty smooth; the lip syncing and facial expressions were good as well, though they still could have been better. What bothered me the most was that the movements of the main character just didn't feel right much of the time, like in the very beginning when his foot moved toward the ground at a constant speed while the rest of his body remained nearly stationary.
Audio:
The music and sound effects worked somewhat well with this flash. Other than that, the audio was rather poor. Speakonia doesn't really work well with anything that isn't related to the Clock Crew or similar groups, and the other voices were still pretty bad, partially because they would occasionally cut off before finishing, like when Papers said "robbed," "tomorrow," and "percent."
Concept:
This is a sad flash, and a little weird. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny at all, but I can't say I found myself laughing at it.
Overall:
Not very entertaining, but with some improvement, I'm sure this could make a pretty good series.
- Review Request Club -
Surn responds:
So in short, the visuals were good but could have been better, the audio was poor and the humor was so weak you couldn't tell If I was trying to be funny. Looks like I need to keep my rhetorical goal in mind next time I write a script. Thanks for reviewing.
Other than that being one of the most depressing stories I've ever seen the animation was fine and so was the voice acting. It was just... poor papers. The guy couldn't catch a break.
Surn responds:
Come on, Charlie Brown got away with it. But still, I should probably try to balance it out if not ease up on it. Thanks for your input.