Reviews for A Paper Mario Story

[Eastbeast]

Talented but needs better exposition.

I gave you a 9 because I know first hand how hard these sprites are to work with, and you made them look pretty decent, although sometimes they are messy looking no matter what. Still you should look to combined different mediums to make the sprites look better, like from other games, but that is up to you. Story line was a typical first episode of a series, it did characterize one cliche aspect of that by not revealing much of the story line making this episode a bit dry and ambiguous. I know what you went for by not revealing too much, but you should have revealed a bit more, in my opinion. Keep trying to blend humor into your epic and it should turn out original. Good luck. Oh and maybe some voice actors too ;) can't hurt

SyuleeArbe responds:

I felt it was missing something I just couldn't figure out what :s. I'm trying to stay true to the original sprite style and only adding custom sprites that I or others have made... But maybe in the next one I can find a way to make them look better or even a little bit different. Thanks for the advice!

[Fartman51]

Could use some work

It's funny, for sure. That "I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SKULL" line really cracked me up, since it was such a good random threat. But you misspelled a few words, like "chef" as "chief", "thief" as "theif", and you messed up your "too"s and your "to"s. Too is like too much, and to is more like I'm going to.

But you should definitely continue this, it could be really great!

SyuleeArbe responds:

Ahhh no way. I thought for sure I had fixed all of the spelling errors. In past movies I've made there wasn't really any plot, it was mostly random gags haha, I guess that still shows in my later works.

[ChaDMcBaDD]

Paper mario is legit

The writing was pretty terrible. I didnt laugh at all, if it was supposed to be funny.

But you still manged to entertain me with great paper mario sprites and sounds...enough for me to watch the whole thing.

I was kind of hoping for an explanation for why they thought he was a thief and what he did, and why the shy guy is so awesome at everything, and why you chose the forest guy as the bad guy, and explain where they were in the paper mario world, etc...

If you continue with this and make a series out of it, i recommend better writing. you need a better story, plot and script.

but the sprites, sound, graphics, style, etc were all good!

SyuleeArbe responds:

It uh, was kinda supposed to be. But I guess I can't make everyone laugh. I guess I did my job if you still liked it. I left stuff out so it would leave you wondering and maybe want to watch the next but I probably left out too much :/. I'll rework my ideas and see what I can do.

[Pienkaito]

Excellent writing.

I must say, I like your style.
It really fits Paper Mario and I thought it was funny.
The animation is most entertaining too. Very neat and fluent. Nothin over the top.

However, if you rate this "E" as in Everyone, keep the swearing away. lol

I hope, you do more.

SyuleeArbe responds:

Oh haha I completely forgot about the swearing. I've never been a fan of animating huge fight scenes, if the situation doesn't call for it. Thanks for the review!

[TheGreeNate]

It was cool!

I liked it. You've got some funny lines in here. Are you going to make more? If so, I'd say fix the sound quality for the music. Tgat's all really, other than that. It was cool.

SyuleeArbe responds:

I'm thinking of writing the script for the 2nd this week, but I can try and make the sounds better because this one was just compressed to much :c.

I also just put a better version up on my profile if you wanna check that one out.