Captured my interest..
Well story-wise, i feel that you've had this story in your head for quite a while, it definitely shows signs that it has slowly matured with your thoughts. I am very interested to see what happens next :). I also liked the slight humour mixed in there it gave it a little something.
The voice acting was perfect, not much to critisize there.. only that some parts were a bit hard to hear or make out though I don't feel it's much of a problem since I got the gist of it.
The concept art (characters) did come to a tiny bit of a disappointment, I figured they'd look more "mature" if you know what I mean. But 1 minute into the flash and I had gotten used to them, plus it's an original look I suppose and aren't we all looking for originality :D?
Overall, I rate this as a very well executed, and well managed piece and give you the highest ratings, you deserved it (along with the voice actors :)) good job