Stellar.
Ha, I don't know why you're not 100% happy with it... but an artist is his own biggest critic right? Anyway, I was 100% happy with it, and it seems the vast majority of NG was too given your sweeping of the awards this week.
The animation was simple and quite effective. I enjoyed the white/yellow eyes and features on black characters, it's a style that has always resonated well with me. Keeping the visuals impressive while not over complicating them facilitated the viewer's ability to focus on the REAL magic of this flash, which was the story.
I say this as an aspiring writer myself: you nailed it. It's a classic framework with a beginning, middle and end, good character establishment and wonderful character development. There's the necessary conflict and resolution... all crammed into a few minute's time with no dialogue! The lack thereof is another stylistic element that I enjoy; it's always neat to see what people can do with imagery as opposed to written or spoken word.
And the music was fitting, the timing well executed. It wasn't boring and had a very medieval feel to it. Like a spooky village in an old English countryside with a haunted castled resting cancerously on the horizon... Huge props to Mr. Partridge, especially for whipping the score up in such a short time.
For all the violent and funny flashes on NG, it is very nice to view the occasional serious short (a collection which I've recommended this for and encourage others to do the same), especially one that was so well executed. Favourited; 5/5; 10/10.
Tremendous work fellas. You're both very talented.