Awsome but...
It need to be less swearing it's like you watched something thet swore alot, and got the idea for them to swear 24/7 it makes them sound mental, and I agree with the person below me so act like I put this, and thet the person below me did.... Wa one more thing......GET A ARTIST IT LOOKS LIKE A LONG TIME DEAD WITH NO ART SKILLS HOBO DREW!!! By the way my name is Drew so stop every time my cousins boyfriend name is always Drew.
A cute idea.
A good flash. The animation was crude in places but forgivable, a fun and compelling story. True it has alot of cliches but its put together in a way that makes it diffrent, the humor in this is good. Keep it up and I hope to see improvments as the series continues.
Err.. okay
Theres alot of things wrong with this, but alot of things right too. i recommend you remain the writer for this, but hire someone to be the artist, because no offence, your art killed it for me. i cant sit watching a serious story that looks like a 5 year old drew it. Then, the second thing. You like scripted part of this while watching naruto or something (The school put people into groups based on their skills?) thats stupid and has been done to many times before. and the last thing is you described the charecters in the GAYEST WAY POSSIBLE, you're not supposed to charectorize like you would in a book, in a flash.
GOOD THINGS
:1 Good storyline
:2 Good voice acting.
That's about it.
BAD THINGS
:1 Horrible art
:2 characterization in a flash (only necissairy for books and kind of ruins flashs)
:3 the charactors seemed kind of gay after a bit of watching, especialy the main charactor because of how you had him describe the other charactors, which seems like the flash was made for like 5 year olds, because most people older than five can understand the emotions a charactor is showing, and what they're generally like without the use of those gay flashback type clips of what they're about.
Thats about it.
Good stuff.
Can't wait to see the rest.
Where, though, did you come up with the idea of "a toothpick, two flares, and a tub of pudding?"
Lol.
A Lot of Cliches
I think you were trying to much to be like an anime, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in this flash it is. You picked up a lot of the stupid cliches (Demons, spiky haired people, "wacky" characters, unfunny fourth wall breaking, I could go on.) And the dialogue is abysmal in the same cliche-riddled, unrealistic way.
Secondly, the story has numerous problems. First of all, the main two characters (The primary of which is probably a self insert) fill out the old and unfunny Normal, or mostly normal, and wacky archtypes, which have been overused, primarily in webcomics. (glare at CAD) I'm sure you're probably sick of me talking about cliches by now, but they really downgrade the quality of the plot and characters by enormous amounts. I'm aware that this is supposed to be a funny flash, so the plot and characters shouldn't matter that much, but when it comes to humor they do (more of the characters than plot, really.) I find it hard to laugh at jokes that I've heard or seen before in various forms on numerous webcomics and animes.
Now for the final negative part of my rambling review, the art. I think it shares the same problems that plague the rest of this animation. No, not cliches, but trying too much to be like anime. I can't really tell if the characters are meant to be chibi-like or normal, but either way they aren't very well-drawn. If you really super seriously want to improve your art, I'd recommend to start drawing from life, not anime (not animating, just drawing okay?) Some books I'd recommend if you really want to learn how to draw well (including drawing anime) are:
Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain (Even if you don't want to draw from life, the tips on general drawing help a lot.)
Anything by Andrew Loomis (For proportions and anatomy of the body, which you still need in anime, and the face, which will also help a bit with anime drawing.)
Once you think you're okay at all the anatomy crap, (Not really good, okay will do) then I suggest moving back into anime. Once again, I really don't know if you want to seriously improve your artistic abilities, but if you do, that's the way to go.
One final nitpick I have about the art are the colors. A lot of the time they clash or just don't look very good at all. I would suggest looking up color theory, but this isn't really that big of a problem.
Anyway, now to the things I like about this animation. I applaud you for making such a long and complicated animation and sticking with it the whole way through. I know I could never do that. The animation itself is actually pretty good, and you must have a great knowledge of flash to be able to put together something this large.
I'll be looking forward to the next episode, and I must ask you to not take anything I've said personally. You don't really have to change the whole story/characters because of all these problems, in fact, that would be a a bad thing, it would really screw up the consistency. A slight change in the directions of a few of the characters, and some more witty dialogue (Like the flare and toothpicks joke) would be nice.
Overall I give you a 6/10, it has some problems, but I can see a lot of hard work was put into it.