well...
you have a good start but you need to work on your poetry other than that.....stop faking goth and you'll be OK
Reviews for "A Poem"
nope, not that good
let me level with you, oats. Newgrounds is not a place for poems and sunshine and little birdies. Newgrounds is place to kill. I came to newgrounds for violence, not some little pussy assed poem. Make things that kill. kill is good. you get a zero
Misplaced
First of all this does not belong in Music and Videos, though it was an ok poem and I'll be nicer than some because I am a writer... it was an ok poem. You put a poem to flash which is a nice idea... if for a site. It does not belong on Newgrounds. if you had done something original with it... like say... had someone actually writing the words or something that'd be a LITTLE better. I think you should not post poem-movies anymore, they are apt for this audience and you will only end up get insulted. This is not a poetry crowd.
Blah.
In my honest opinion, that movie wasn't worth jack shit. The poem was good, but I didn't think it was worth being made into a flash movie. Save the text stuff for a piece of paper.
Again, this doesn't belong here.
Sigh.. this doesn't belong here, Oats. THis is not the place to put an emotional flash text poem. If you want to make more flash poetry, then put some images in. I disagree with the guy below. Newgrounds should be more than welcome to artsy movies as long as it has good graphics, sound, and plot. Violence isn't ALWAYS necessary. You have a plot, but you need more of the other two. At the very least, put symbolic images in with the text. A red rose to symbolize the relationship, maybe wilt it away when you break up, and use tears. Show a gun and have it fire when the gunshot can be heard. End it with blood running down the screen, or write "THE END" in blood. These are just examples. With proper graphics and sound, I'm sure even Newgrounds could be captivated by serious poetry.