Lacks Imagination
I'm supposing you really didn't put alot of effort into this because none of this really made sense or was in any way funny. If you want to make good screams or shouts, try really yelling into the mic. It sounds like you were wispering the voices most of the time. I couldn't tell the difference between the characters (they all sounded nearly the same). Try to really prepare before voicing over stuff like this or at least get more than one person to include more voices if you don't have the voice range to really work with this kind of animation.