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Pachyderm Guru

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The Pachyderm Guru (known to friends as Glrrrg) may seem wise, but do not be fooled. He only seems sagacious because of all the hovering. He says he can fire lightning from his mind, but as far as I can tell the only thing his mind fires is terrible advice and the occasional glowing crystal orb. His advice may be lacking, but his bourbon beef stew is second to none.

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