It's not bad. Newgrounds isn't supposed to be the place for you to upload demos, though. In theory, you're supposed to upload finished animations. Anyway, a lot of people are doing it.

As regards the demo itself, I think it shows promise, but that you probably need to work on some projects (yours or from others) to have more material of your own, more samples, especially in terms of more complex, fluid animation. The sort of work that shows, even if in a glimpse, what you're capable of and the type of work that makes you proud. That's what should be included.

Try to only include roughs when they are from some truly nifty animation. Anyways, keep it up. I hope you make it and continue to improve. =)