Day Drinkin 05/07

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Well it was time well spent! Short but entertaining. Time for some longer times though...


Excellent work.
The characters and voice acting is so good.

This is gonna be a long one, but I like your work so here goes

The writing in this was resourceful considering how limited the animation is. I like how you seemed to easily generate conflict in the first second. Scooter was great. He was crass and rude, and opening on him being insulted by his introduction was clever. He contrasted well with the deadpan Bubbles. This was my favorite Day Drinkin' so far. I think the contrast of characters and conflict helped.

Limited animation isn't inherently bad, but I do think it's easier to scrutinize when the writing isn't punchy. Most of your work punches for me. As far as your previous shorts go I think Billy the Cannibal is the best written. It follows the rules of a standard sketch to a T, and the lines are really memorable and funny. If you'd like here's a link to a page that breaks down sketch comedy writing, and I think it might be good resource for you. https://thecomedycrowd.com/how-to-write-a-comedy-sketch/
Some of the tips are obvious, but the parts with POV establishing a game, and keeping the conflict simple are very insightful.

Another short of yours where the writing flourishes is on Moon Boi. There's only one character, but he's addressing the viewer so it implies a second. What I find absurd about it is that in just a moment this goofy looking alien manages to make me laugh, long, and feel for a creature that has accepted the idea that life is meaningless making this connection I feel to him hysterical. A cartoon telling me nothing matters punctuated by digital pity from a viewer. It's funny stuff.

I think your original work is better than your parodies. Monster Lab is another example of some fun creative comedy. You have really good output, some consistency with awards, and memorable originals. I think most of your work in the future will really shine if you polish your writing skills.

Have a good one dude, and I'm looking forward to your future releases!

meatcanyon responds:

I appreciate your time and critique of my work. I enjoy making originals as well, I mostly do parodies to introduce new people to my work so they have something they can relate to. I appreciate your feedback. Thanks for watching

Scooter's design is fantastic, as a dude from maine this speaks to me in volumes

This was nice. The art style was cool, my kind of thing. The voice acting was really good. A bit one-note, but it works for the characters. Speaking of characters, I really liked Scooter. He had a good design, and his personality was just the right amount of annoying. Poor Bubbles didn't even get to answer any questions. The joke and punchline were kinda predictable, but it was still a nice bit of entertainment. Keep it up!

meatcanyon responds:

Thank you for your critique. I appreciate you watching. Did the humor fall flat? I’m trying to make this a weekly Q and A series. But as of late I feel like it’s just not super funny. Anything you wish would’ve happened?

Credits & Info

3.47 / 5.00

May 8, 2019
4:32 AM EDT
Comedy - Original
  • Daily 2nd Place May 9, 2019