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Gambler's Remorse

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This is an animation based on a haiku about a man who bluffed his way to homelessness. I made it in two days,it's pretty rough and choppy but any constructive criticism would be great. I'm only just really starting out animating, so this was my first serious project. I hope you enjoy

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Not good.
The art and animation are at best shabby, the characters look lazily done and the plot is poor having been explained in only a few seconds. Yours: There was once a gambler, now he is homeless.
There is lacking much detail in that, let's spice it up a bit.
There was once a gambler who bet all his money, as cocky as he was he still was nervous with the cards. Looking at his opponents, he could see defeat in himself. As his opponents revealed their cards, he realized his fate. The main now stands, bankrupt.
See how much more detail there was? Despite still being poorly done, there was more attention to detail then this.
Also unlike something else I have seen here, I know for a fact this is copyrighted, don't use things that don't belond to you without premission.

Needs to be more interesting and better art/animation.

Zetra-LD responds:

Ah, see the reason why the story isn't coherent was that the project itself was very limiting. Though I agree that the animation itself is very shabby, the project itself was one where we used a haiku's 3 lines to tell a story. Those lines being, "I knew a gambler-He bet it all on a bluff-He is now homeless." And hence why I displayed those three lines in the animation. But I understand what you're saying, and I thank you for your constructive criticism.

I do not know what you mean by copyright, whether you're referring to audio, the haiku itself or something else but the audio is non-copyright and the haiku was my mistake, there was no credits given from where I got it from.

Credits & Info

Views
542
Faves:
1
Votes
85
Score
2.63 / 5.00

Uploaded
Aug 9, 2018
2:07 AM EDT
Genre
Drama