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Pharaoh's grave

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This is not a good short film. I'm not an animator. The first part I made many years ago, trying to make a comprehensive animated story, as you see I miserably failed. The other two parts I've made later and I finished the third a couple of months ago just because I was bored and this unfinished story bothered me. To end it all I dubbed over the bad audio from the first and made them into one "big" movie. I only accept hate and constructive critisism and I'm sorry I wasted two minutes of your life.

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Only accept hate and constructive criticism? Hate and constructive criticism it is then...
First off you spelled “criticism” wrong :P

The first image you used of the outside is with no black out lines and better quality than the next shot you used of the same shot, sure it's a different time of day but sticking to one style will make it more appealing.

The guy in blue looks backwards in the shot where he looks forwards.
In the same shot before he specks he doesn't have a mouth at all.
Please look up "The rules of thirds" as it makes this hard to watch otherwise; like the shot where he’s going down the hall way, there needs to be something on the right; not just a blank wall. Maybe some warnings about what will happen or something in picture form.

When he gets in the room with the writing he could have wiped his forehead in relief or just sounded happy instead of being like he already saw it before.

Did the program that you made this in not have layers? Why can't you see any glowing from the writing that he's standing in front of?

The tear drop takes longer to fall when it's not connected to his face so I guess gravity is different where he is?

Also I hate the text boxes! Like are you trying to hide them by putting them up there? You could have narrated them instead and it could have come out way better.

Lastly; you say your "Not an animator" What!? This is Very good for someone who’s not an animator and with some little things here and there; you could easily make this a lot better.

If you wanted I could give you like three or four things that you did right, just PM me if so or if you want any other advice let me know.

Hope this helps.

Waskus responds:

First off you spelled "speaks" wrong... Nah I'm just kidding.

The description was wrote in a light-hearted tone with a touch of irony. Of course I'm an animator, not an especially good one, but a an animator nonetheless. The first 32 seconds of the animation, which you criticized the most, I made about two weeks after I started animating (little over 3 years ago). I knew nothing about layers, the rule of thirds or animation rules in general. Therefore the lack of things like gravity, fluid motions etc.

And yes, text boxes are a cheap and bad way to avoid actual animation. For the narration, I'm not native to a English-speaking country and therefore try to avoid long lines, mainly because my Swedish accent shines through quite strong.

And I know I could've made this a lot, lot better if I'd just put in the time. The problem is that I couldn't, I don't have as much time now as I had a few years ago. As I wrote in the other response I felt I needed to finish this little mini-series, just so I could get it out of my head and put a metaphorical end to my animating "career". Not that I'll never pick up that old tablet again, I just wanted to end my only series - And the lack of time I had when I did resulted in a mediocre and cheap animation I, with just a few more days, could've made much better.

And yes, I would like to know what I did right for any future projects I may or may not make.

It helped.

/W

Well at least the ending was a totally unexpected one! The animation quality was... not perfect, but not bad either. The way the Pharaoh was drawn made me think a bit of Iron Maiden, like some of their cover art. Voice acting and sound effects were on another level entirely, and in the end... it was an entertaining two minutes wasted, even if that plot took a turn for the totally unexpected.

-cd-

Waskus responds:

Very kind words man. Actually I remembered some old Maiden covers when I "designed" Mr. Pharaoh, funny enough. And ye, the ending is dissapointing and not as funny as it was in my head. Made mainly to save time so I could get this project out of my head and to put a methaphorical end to my short-lived animating "career".

/W

Credits & Info

Views
738
Votes
78
Score
2.91 / 5.00

Uploaded
Feb 23, 2018
10:19 AM EST