Who are you? try to introduce yourself next time, you know, to at least relate to your story, also, try to fix the audio, cause its get loud at the end.
Furthermore, that kind of animated blogs are more popular on Youtube than Newgrounds, if you want to stand out from the rest, you have to add something else to your videos.
Anyway, you re going ok.
Thank you for your criticism. As for the audio part, I'm gonna use a more silent, calmer tune for the ending. I am also aware that this kind of animation is more popular on YouTube, that's where I focus on the most part. The reason why I upload on Newgrounds is that I might have an easier time finding viewers of my content here, thanks to the new movies category.