This was kinda cool! The timing wasn't bad, but it'd be nice to see a bit more animation. Thanks for using my music. :)
Im the one thanking you
I se a lot of effort put in here and a sound quality is quite good, but there are a few things that could be done better:
- Sound. As said before, it's quality is pretty ok, but you could add some effects to make it more believable. Eg. in the first scene when we heard guys talking outside it was a bit confusing because they sound like they were right in front of us. Recording from a little far away or adding some effects would be cool to make them sound like they are actually outside. Same thing goes for armour guys - they sound like they have no metal helmets at all. To fix it you can try eg. put a pot on your head (no joking :D) and record their voices to sound more believable.
- Shots. They are sometimes... confusing? Especially when they are talking. I know that animating speech isn't the easiest thing in the world, but It's hard to keep track what's going on when character1 is talking and shot is stated on character's2 static face.
- First scene. Like... what? Why it was so long? It just makes a bad first impression and can make people drop it just after few first seconds. It just feels confusing to me. "*sits there doing nothing* *taksthe paper* *staring at it while sitting completely still* - Heh!".
If I was the one to fix it, I'd do these things in particular scenes:
• first shot - add some camera movement, eg. camera slightly moving to the left to introduce the character. Just static image for few seconds looks kinda boring.
• 'reading paper' shot - add little eye movement from right to left like he's actually reading instead of "heh I can't read so I'll just stare at it xD"
• 'talking outside' shot - add some "being outside" sound effect + maybe only in the right ear? It would give more of a "some guys talking out there" feeling.
• 'confusing talking' shots - yeah, I talked about them earlier. At the beginning I wasn't sure if you were too lazy to animate mouth or what + armour-guys sound effect
• in one shot there's no background (son standing behind his dad), just a white color. Was it intentional?
• "you scum!" guard shot - I actually laughed how inaccurate it looks. His friends just died (I guess?) and he just stands there still in such a weird position and looks at the ground screaming that. Without a sound and the dramatic previous scene I'd think that he's shy, embarassed or kinda sad. I think that more accurate (but also harder to animate) would be stepping back and moving his hand closer in act of shock and fear, or else - do more agressive movement.
That's about it, I guess. You can also try to play a little with camera movement to give your shots some dynamics. Overall I liked it and the voice acting was pretty ok and showed accurately the emotions of characters. It seems to be a good show in the future and the story begins interesting. Hope to see new episodes soon ;)
thanks a lot for everything , I will work hard and try to fix this problems !
Glad to have people reviewing :)
Hello there. First thanks for using my music as outro! :)
So...the animation is not that bad but little improve needed.
btw theres a misstype :P "fadded"
and the outro song a little bit too quite.
i'll give 3.5 star :)
ups ehehheh, yeah thx me , im using the serie to improve so hope next one will be better.