try to use less explanation and more action, this is super slick.
you put a lot of effort in this and I respect that. for an early animation it wasn't that bad, I mean, you should look at the crap that was posted here in the early days of Newgrounds, it was poorly animated, poorly written, and poorly voiced. But when you look at them now they're incredible. why? Because they kept making more animations and after each one they got just a little bit better. So don't give up, just keep making animations and listening to peoples advice.
thank you, I will make more even if I should get a series of one stars
I like seeing people attempt things like animation, and if you're a beginner this isn't all that bad. However, if you have a lot to learn about story writing. The characters shouldn't describe every detail of what is happening, somethings should be left to the visuals, and others maybe even the imagination of the viewer. You can use clues to lead someone to assume something, or something in the background can explain the plot a little. The part with the phone and the news app didn't need to be explained by the hero, the camera could've just focused for a few seconds on the phone. The screen could've had NEWS written in the corner and "Mayor's Daught Kidnapped!" in text like a headline. In other words, less talking, more visuals.
The writing needs more "show don't tell." All the dialogue very explicitly explains every last detail of what's going on, and comes off as unnatural exposition. Try to have the animation tell more of the story, or get across the information with more natural dialogue. I think you also know that the voices need some work, since you added the very necessary subtitles. You can find voice actors on newgrounds in the forums.
Thanks for your advice