Honestly, the cartoon and animation was great. The script and story fell almost as flat as possible. If you made your script and story far better, you would have an excellent cartoon. I am not trying to be mean, but I was so board that the animation and illustration is the only thing that kept me watching. In my honest opinion you need to much improve the script, and then you will have a very viable cartoon show. Hope this helps.
UnTown episode 5- Unreed's Merman
Sorry this took so long for me to put this on Newgrounds. I upload here a week after my episodes are on youtube.
Episode description:
On a slightly warm weekend down in the Unreed Bay, a festival is made to celebrate the coming of The "Unreed Winged Merman", and a photo competition starts for Unreeds Townsfolk. Nace wants to enter but decides to help out the Twins instead for the sake of their Nana. Meanwhile Spokeniss is up to no good... again.
Hope you guys enjoy! Here take some Credits!
Starring:
Aiden Wall as(Nace)
Cooper Quick as(Craig)
Jordan J Scavone as(Spokeniss)
Julie Collins as(Kim J)
Josh Click as(Roothas J)
Jesse Lowther as(Henry)
Ashley Eddy as(Colette)
DynoStorm as(Mayor Oz, Annoying Girl, Naces Dad)
Brandi Stone as(Pedal)
Chelsea Rae Loduca as (Girl with Pink Hair)
__________________________
PallidCrest responds:
Thank you! Yeah the story on this one was a bit weird and episodic. But it was really meant to be that way for this one, just so the Cast and myself could have a bit more fun with the characters. But I promise you the next one we'll make will be even better! Again thanks for the feedback. :)
