What you have is pretty decent and it'll be interesting to see what you have for us in the future. But this is not complete, and without a story or plot with it, it's a pointless submission.
With that being said, please don't submit unfinished things to the Portal. If people submit unfinished things, then this will become an unimpressive site. Would you hang out on a site where none of the movies or games are completed? Think about it.
If you want feedback, tips, and ideas, that's fine, but this isn't the best place for this. The Portal is for finished items. The Forums are what you want. Load this into your Dumping Grounds. It's the third icon from the left at the very top of the page when you're signed in. It looks like a bucket with an arrow pointing down. Once it's loaded there, copy and paste the link into the Forums (Community>Forums). That way, people see it and give tips, which is what you want, but it's not in the Portal, filling your account with low scores or blams, which you don't want.
http://www.newgrounds.com/wiki/help-information/content-submission
Good luck. :)