It was interesting.
Well that's a better response than I expected, haha. This is my first official Flash cartoon, so thank you I'll take it as a compliment.
Thanks! I appreciate the 5 stars!
You forgot the menu. If you can't be bothered to add a simple menu, the videos gonna reply itself, forcing me to listen to it twice while I'm writing the review, making me delete my 5 star rating and giving you 0.
This is incomplete. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
I appologize for the inconvenience, I am new to posting on Newgrounds, if you could give me more info on this, I'd be glad to change it. I plan on being here a while so any advice would be helpful.
Presentation Is Important
First things first, I usually say "don't draw sticks" because that was advice that my mother had given me ever since I was young. To this day, I still find it sound because as an artist, you can't improve on the human figure if you stick to sticks.
There are exceptions to this rule, like Krinkels and his madness animations, and some other stick artists like the fluidanims guys, and xiao xiao, but those guys are the exception because they have a good "directional sense". Like either they set their movies up like a cinematic production, or that they have so much going on that it doesn't matter that they use stick figures, because everything else is detailed or there's just a lot action or the animation so smooth that nobody cares.
Still sticks are good for roughs, but usually what I do with roughs is take the rough and draw over them(draw a more solid 3 dimensional figure in place of the stick figure)
This is not to shabby for a first run, but it needs some overhaul.
The stick fight at the begining was not well centered, and wasn't well coreographed.
However the moment where that stick on the right jumps up into the air to deliver a final strike was actually pretty cool, interesting, and partially well done. "Cloud" was pretty well drawn too. What I liked the most was how you implemented perspective. When we see these two fight as stick figures, we are seeing them from a far away point of view in context of the movie. Then, the "camera" zooms in on cloud, revealing the obscured stick figure to actually be more 3 dimensional and detailed in close up. That was really neat.
Finally the joke, the punchline.
A basic slapstick parody punchline. Cloud jumps high up to do his Omnislash, except he jumps so high he breaks gravity and enters orbit. The final scene with cloud crashing into the moon, is drawn pretty rudimentary, but... I'll let it pass because I've drawn like that too at times.
So far, it's a pretty solid idea, but the movie needs some retouching, I would suggest centering the figures, or just adding a background, and also removing those box like frames which I assume you used to guide your frame of action. Cloud should be colored in, and... I think that just about all the advice I can give.
As always, thank you for your efforts, and good luck on your next entry.
As I do appreciate the critism, I honestly do. As I am taking everything with a grain of salt, I will improve my work for next time. The stick figure fighting was actually so I could get used to motion a bit more, though I was attempting to frame by frame the actual omnislash when I was creating it, animation is a beast that needs more finnese than I was giving it - I see that now. Thank you for your input and I will work my damndest to improve my work.
By the way, not bad for not ever using Flash right?
Would you say it's a happy ending?