Like the drawing style, not sure how it would cope with movement though. And as you probably know the audio is all kinds of messed up. Never the less look forward to more from you.
Author Comments
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Thank you all for your comments and reviews it helps a lot. Especially those who gave constructive ones as per what to fix or change. It is still a work in progress, so I will be sure to take everything into consideration for the final version.
Please keep the comments coming!
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Hi all, I've been working on this for a while and finally was able to put it all together. I am still working on the editing and color correction, and as well am planning to ad a little camera shake ad more depth of field throughout the whole video to give it a little more 'inside of a train' feel.
I would appreciate it if you can leave me a review and feedback! Also, sorry about the prel-loader it appears that I need a new version of flash since mine will not allow coding at the moment.
Enjoy!!
Gorgeous visuals, very stylish, but why does the audio quality differ from sentence to sentence?
needed a better mic for your voice.....
The audio is inconsistent, between crappy and alright. It is very distracting.
Second, I think you need to work on your script. It's a little trite, and very pretentious. Frankly, you're not covering any new ground here. This isn't challenging, and it doesn't make me thoughtful. It is actually only a shallow facsimile of depth.
If you want to fix it, get rid of the editorializing. Instead of saying "a restless woman going home to her kids blahblahblah," actually, you know, describe things and show us with your animation. Like, "The woman next to me fiddles with the corner of her bag-- she seems restless, tired, anxious to get home. I wonder if she has children waiting for her blahblahblah."
Also, your description of the man makes me grind my teeth, so definitely change that one.
enh264 responds:
Hey thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it. It was a short script I came out with a while back ago which I didn't change much. Would you recommend and perhaps give me an example of a different script? But one thing, I would like to keep the same visuals and scenes that it has right now. I will need to re-record the voice with a better mic as well, and will ad a pre-loader.
All the best
great beginning to your potential
as for improvements, character detail needs work, need more improvement with faces