Great ideas here. Some funny moments too, however, it's still very rough. Work on fluidity, volume balance, and coherence of story. Do more showing and less telling via Character backgrounds. Make the flash strong, that's what we're here to see! Hope I helped!

Pretty cool, but your Sound Design Needs more a lot more! Improve the sound to make this a better Film overall. The intro title is also a bit long you may want to show something happening, or animate the title or something to make it more interesting. Have some background music playing to help keep the flow going. Great Job though keep chipping at it to make it better.