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Pwanchi Burger Episode 3

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Episode 3 of the Pwanchi Burger series.

Dunno if you guys are getting an error with the camera, If so I just updated the file which should fix it.
May take a little bit to change.

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lol i thik the others were better...

Wow, it seems that one "reviewer" who posted below thinks pretty highly of his own opinions...
especially considering that his account has no content or history...
Anyway, I have grown to really like the Pwanchi Burger series!
I actually think Yoko is hilarious and I think that his random and sparse appearances add to the flavor more than if he was always contributing to the dialogue.
Please keep making these gems and keep up the great work!

Line-work and coloring are both pretty clean. Voice acting is not terrible, but in some areas it wasn't very good either. The dialogue was also nothing too bad most of the time.

Now for some negative things, I don't like this animation style. I'm not a fan of the whole "motion-tween-for-each-body-part" thing, I find it very lazy, stiff, and just not very nice to look at. I mean, all the characters just look and behave like lifeless puppets.

The lip-syncing wasn't very good, I mean their mouths go allover the place and it just looks fake, it looks like an obvious, paper-like graphic hovering over their face the whole time. HOWEVER I'm glad there actually IS lip-syncing nonetheless, some people just use mouth-flapping, so it isn't terribly lazy. It just doesn't look so great.

What I mostly disliked was just the overall plot and script... I mean it was lengthy, which is usually nice with videos, I mean I hate seeing all these 15-second things around here, but I thought it was just really boring. I didn't find it very funny, it was so slow-moving and kinda mind-numbing to a certain extent, up to the point where I was sorta hoping that it would end. Also the choice of audio was pretty bad, lots of the sounds sounded very fake and muffled. Audio and atmosphere overall can be extremely crucial to the overall outcome of a film.

It's a shame because I think this has a bit of potential, I like the idea of some guys at a restaurant with strange things happening to them, it could be really funny. I'm honestly a huge fan of pretty basic, typical, real-life plots.

1) Work on the script, make everything snappier, funnier, harder-hitting and less bland.
2) Some of the characters didn't sound so great, the actors should practice a bit more or get replaced, while you're at it get a better microphone.
3) Put more effort into the animation, and if you already are, study the way things move and how physics works. This particular style of animation can look extremely good IF it is done right, and I have seen it done marvelously in videos (seldom, but nonetheless). But the way you do this one specifically just looks totally dated and bland. Have more things going on in the background when they're outside and such.
4) Use better, more clear, lifelike audio for sound effects and ambiance. Music could help to make everything more upbeat and not so dead.
5) You can try making the camera move often, still shots of everything going from shot-to-shot gets tiresome after a while, have it pan or dolly or zoom, rack-focuses, anything, this can severely assist with making the visuals and overall video more pleasing to look at.

Also, there isn't much variety in the characters. I'm not really going to comment on that too much though, since this is already the third installment of this series, it would be weird of the designs suddenly changed. But if you can, make the characters look a bit different, different heights, use of colors, more drastic facial features, anything.

Overall, I didn't really enjoy it. Usually a video will have some sort of aspect about it that I like, but this one was kind of a miss on just about everything. You don't need to take this criticism, it's fine, but these are just my tips on making this whole series better... you may take it or not, that's your choice...

cyotecody555 responds:

I like lengthy reviews like this, they're the helpful kind from a common viewer.

meh I found it kinda bland

*sits back and rubs hands together* Alright... so this is your third episode... i remember episode one from while it was underjudgement... i seem to recall giving you some constrctive criticism let me regale you 1. characters... bland, uninteresting and apart from the fat hideiously anoying chef they all seem to blend together in one mass of singular character... if that makes sence... 2. plot... there was none and if their was i dont remember it. 3 the chef... did i mention hideiously anoying?
the way it speaks and acts and that ear churning high pitched squeel it does... so yeah... not much improvement in the way of improvements in those areas again it seems very obscure in the character department one a**hole one Douchebag and three retards one with a hideious voice

anyway that aside i have some good aspects that should be taken away... 1. Voice acting... from the first episode much imporved clear and crisp and able to be heard without constant volume twitching... 2. Animation much cleaner smoother and all round smoothness was much improved on episode.

i have given you two stars for improvement on those two things and subtracted 3 for the issues yet to be adressed i hope you take this for what it is... constructive and not destructive i think with a little thought and alot of work it could make a turn for the better...

P.s at no rate should you take this being on the front page as a stoping point for your development
and if you want an extra star from me... get rid of that fucking fat chef... or at least sew its lips together so it cant make sound

have a good one mate and keep up the good work