nice job but you have to work harder than this or it will probably be blamed.Tips: work on animation make it more smooth and make the story line make sense! good luck to you.
Author Comments
This is an animation from a couple years ago that I thought was newgrounds worthy... it was made with ms paint and movie maker, so some timing might be off, but it's pretty good for how it was made, and the time limit I had to make it. Uh yeah...
Here's the original youtube description of it:
"Over the past few days in technology class, we had an assignment to make a cartoon. Yay!!! is what I would normally say, if we were making them the right way, using flash or somthing, but the teacher is not qualified to teach technology and told us to make them with windows movie maker and microsoft paint. How retarded can you be??? She even started talking about using transitions... wtf?!? transitions have no place in a cartoon. seriously. Any way,... today they were graded and as predicted, mine was the best. The rest of them sucked big time. Well here's my piece of crap cartoon that I made for this gay project."
The only thing in this that is newly made is the thumbnail and the title screen. Just a warning, the thumbnail/title screen are almost the complete opposite of what the animation actually looks like, lol. Oh, and don't complain about the lack of a background, cause I didn't have a lot of time to work on this, and is was made in paint, so no layers...
Anyways, enjoy.
Aahaha so retardaded lololol 2 stars
I realize this submission was made a couple years ago, but I'm still going to judge it in every aspect as I would if this made now. Granted, it holds some level of quality considering the programs you made it with, but I personally don't find it "Newgrounds-worthy."
Though, I must compliment you on your title screen; it looks decent, and to a viewer who doesn't feel like reading your long description, misleading.
The guy looks quite awkward; most notably, his arm, head shape and the curve of his body. Of course, having been forced to do it with MS Paint by your unqualified technology teacher, may have impacted the brush smoothness inconsistencies. Though one thing that I'm still wondering about is his lack of an eye. That was probably the most awkward part.
The squirrel was somewhat passable in terms of art, though. He still has some flaws, but it's still fairly decent for what it is and what it was done in.
I realize this is a class project, but I'm still going to say this: for a cartoon as short as this, there has to be a decent punchline. Your typical "abrupt ending" or "stupid joke" probably would've worked better than a generic "King rules, guy disobeys and gets shot" sort of thing.
The type of humor present in most of your submissions is the kind of humor that only works well in a situation, but when tried to be molded into a short, to-the-point punchline, would fail, so a really good joke would be needed for something as short as this.
Those last paragraphs were not so much a complaint of this project rather than a suggestion for future videos you intend to be shorts.
2/5
artistunknown responds:
Well, I'm glad you recognised that a lot of it had to be limited. I'll admit, it could have been better looking, I'm guessing the whole "no eye" thing is in the beginning. Is a lot of the stuff going through the portal newgrounds worthy? Most of it yeah, but this is still better than a lot of the things that aren't...
I might have been better on the art, maybe making the image size bigger, but at the time, I hadn't payed attention to what size the image was, and it was to late to turn back. Some of the art could have been improved, but thanks for the compliment on the squirrel anyways.
Yeah, the lack of humor in this is probably what's going to kill it. A lot of other shorts I've written have better jokes (or just have jokes for that matter) of course those shorts only exist as scripts and have never been animated.
Anyways, thanks for the review, and thanks for the suggestions, not sure how I can put them into use, maybe when deciding on the punch line for a short, haven't made to many shorts though... It will come eventually though.
Again, thanks for the review.