if your microphone broke, then add some background music or something, maybe have that computer talking thing :P
Would have been so much better with sound man!
I've seen it before
I cannot tell you enough how huge of a difference sound of any kind makes to every submission. Without any sory of music, voices, effects, etc. even the most wonderfully animated and engaging story starts to become tedious and painful after about two minutes (if you make it that long). There's a reason that even the silent films of the olden days had that fun piano playing behind it. It conveys emotion and gives us something to focus on besides the dead ringing silence of our own computers.
That being said, the story (what there was of it) was all delievered far too quickly for me to have any idea of what was goin on. On top of that the animation was incredibly poor. The best-drawn things in the whole film were the three cartoon characters at the end, and they flashed up so quickly that the only one I can remember is Fred Flintstone.
I would say the first thing you need to do is slow a few parts down - the engaging parts that drive the conflict forward. The second thing would be to add sound of any kind, whether it be voices, a sound-track of even one background song, whatever. Anything to help us get a feel for the film and not want to turn the page before it finishes. Finally, improving your artwork should be something you put a lot of energy in to if you plan on being a flash... artist.
Thank you; hope this helps!