Well, it's one of the better that I've seen from your class. The art was decent but seemed a bit rushed (I love the fire) But as always I'll list a few changes that should help.
1-Rolling mountains, I don't mind the peaks but there's just too many sharp angles, the background would look much better if the mountains had a bit more character.
2-The sounds of the wild are a bit too loud compared to whats happening up front (I don't mind louder wind that looks like a generally windy place)
3-Animation lineup, though the artwork is decent, I've noticed a few things such as sounds not lining up with animation such as the fire and sharpening the sword, as well as that the fire is not in the center of the melted snow, and as for how loud the wind is shouldent that cloud be moving faster?
Author Comments
I was asked to produce a 15 second long trailer for a game i am to make, i would appreciate it if all critisism is given as i need to write a 300 word report on peoples comments, thanks. Its the first time i've used flash to this scale
Thanks alot jec, opened my eyes to a few things i didn't even personally consider haha. You've helped me further anyways thank you so much :)
okay
i gave most of the stars to the general artwork, which looked decent
also for the fire animation which looked good but had an obvious transition to the start of the loop
However,
The sound effect for the whetting of the sword is totally out of sync with the guys arm, actually now that i think about it, the arm didnt really even move all that much anyway
An action like whetting a sword should be one that is exaggerated, try and find/create a longer, single stroke and sync it with the guys arm
The title was lackluster, even from a minimalist point of view (white words on a black background? Come on man, give it a bit more effort than that! :P)
Try and mix it up a little bit, diffrent colors, objects moving in, pretty much anything to EXAGERRATE the action
Also, if this is supposed to be a trailer, try and get me (the viewer) to be interested in playing the game
I know this is your first flash so don't quit now, honestly the best way to get better is repetition and experimenting
Keep trying!
PS. Kudos to your teach, getting criticism from people who you cant reach out and throttle is probably the best way to get a honest and truly critical review
Honestly dude i agree with you and i wouldn't throttle you for giving good constructive feedback, i appreciate this. I do understand that the majority of the work done within this was absolute rubbish lol and more effort could have been put in i suppose. But again i was just getting used to the software we had a few weeks to do with along with all other outstanding coursework. Im gonna have a go at something else using online tutorials, got me a bit inspired to do a bit more in Flash.
You could say i was scared to put in more detail not understanding full how motion tweening actually worked. I personally thought myself that anyhthing i put would glitch out or look completely rubbish when trying to animate.
Again, thank you for your feedback dude :)
I hope this isn't going to be the Wost "Game" Ever.
The environment looks fine and passable except for three details. One would be the rocks around the fire, which look too round and need to be jagged like rocks. The other problem is the lack of shading on the snowy grounds and the grassy patch. Final detail that needs work is the character model, which looks like messy patches of undefined color pallet blobs coming together. His animation is also a little glitchy what with his eyes disappearing. His concept is okay, an old warrior, but he needs better rendering.
Thanks for the crits mate, i know it was a bit sloppy all around but i only just started getting used to motion tweening towards the deadline. Ill try and work on it some more and up everyones opinion of it some more
You did a nice job with the trailer animation and sounds- it definitely has some potential! Is there supposed to be a story behind this trailer? 15 seconds is not quite enough time to tell your audience what this game is suppose to be about. Maybe if the trailer was 30 seconds long, maybe even a minute long, you could better convey your idea to the viewers.
Thank you haiiro, you're comment has pretty much covered half of my report. much appreciated
I may add more to it, or do a remake using the symbols i used etc. We'll see what happens, im more inclined to 3D personally but hey. Thanks