Well
It's been almost a week since we uploaded our Halloween cartoons. And I still haven't figured out why people didn't like them. For the most part at least.
I realized with mine the concept or story was odd, had no flow, or resolution.
And although I don't know for sure about yours, that might be the same for you. Because, I mean, it was just what happened to them on Halloween. No real story structure, I guess we'll really have to work harder on our scripts from now on.
Aside from that, the ONLY things I could think of for improving this, is to cut the pauses out. You still had a few pauses here and there between lines. I only realize after watching it about a dozen times though (cuz I really wanted to figure out why it wasn't successful)
And the mouths. You said theyre off because off lag. That's not it. You had the mouths off a little bit. Just a hair though, and that really sucks because that something that coulda been easily fixed. ):
If you hate doing mouths so much though, and since you always keep the mouth in the same position all the time. You should really re-use mouths. Create a bunch of mouth movieclips and make them all the same size then it's way easier to do lip syncing.
That's really ALL I can think of to improve on this. Concept, lip syncing, pauses, and maybe adding more music and sound effects. But heck, this IS good it should of won a trophy. Stupid newgrounds. >.>