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Mario Battle Bros ep.5.1

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Author Comments

YES! Finally I managed to upload it! YAHOO!
Anyways, enjoy this episode I had trouble uploading.. Sorry about that.
Shi the demon sprite by Milan0077, (See him in deviantart OR ELSE!) Visit him and look at all his sprites!
I was about to change the bully sprite to Kaosu, (But Milan had many flaws) So Bully sprite..
Anyways, stop reading this short comment, because I don't know what to say and WATCH IT!
This is part 1.. Part 2 soon. But it's done lol.

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It's good, but there are one or two issues that need ironing out.

I think that the plot is nicely detailed, though having some areas where there are vocal lines and others which are the text box did interrupt the flow for me. One or the other, but not both should be the rule of thumb. Since you used te sound effects quite well, I'd suggest progressing to full vocal.

Staying with sound, some of the effects are a little quiet, while others are rather loud - I would suggest that you work a little more on making them balanced and allowing your viewers to concentrate on the plot, as opposed to having to adjust their volume all of the time.

Some of the text boxes seemed over full with words - a smaller font would not have hurt, neither would a black strip at the bottom of the frame, to take the subtitles. Some of the animation was a little out of time and untidy, which was a shame. Given that there is so much plot in one of these episodes, the final edit is the key here, getting everything just right, so that it's as impressive as possible.

[Review Request Club]

SuperMarioFan9000 responds:

Final touch and editing. Will do. Thanks!

What I liked about this flash:
This has a decent length. When I saw the file size and noticed that this is a sprite movie I expected the worst (too many flash authors have let me down already, heh). But this one actually has a lot going on.

I also liked the music you chose. It fits pretty good most of the time. There was only one loop that didn't work out too well. I think it was when the Master and Shi had a small conversation. There was a noticeable gap on the loop. The voices are a very good addition as well.

Next thing I liked was the humor. There are a lot of funny scenes in this flash, for example when Luigi begins to cry.

What I didn't like:
Sometimes the text boxes where too small for the text. You should either try to write less or make the text box a bit bigger if you have a lot to say.

Also, sometimes there where some grammar errors. Most noticeable the "your / you're"-mistake. Proof read your texts and keep an eye open for grammar errors as well.

This was the first episode I watched, so naturally the story doesn't make too much sense to me. I still enjoyed this flash, as there are some funny scenes and the flow of the story is pretty good, too.

{ Review Request Club }

I feel this could have been a little better. Could at least note that for those who haven't watched the series yet that they need to use the space bar to move along the text boxes. Story seems to be good anyways.

The graphics are all sprites except Shi the demon hedgehog who is a custom sprite that you have noted Milan0077 made .In my opinion though it looks kind of dull, not saying Shi is a completely dull character but, way, way too many spikes on their head. Made less on their head so it looks cleaner. Everything else here seemed to be rather fine though.

The story seems to be the Mario Bros. are hunting for stars and yet the Bully revealed at the end is going to prevent them from doing so by sending many minions and the such their way. Then Shi came, first in an Organization XIII cloak then suddenly appears without it. Could possibly made the cloak a little shorter and seem bigger on the top to show he has a lot of spikes too. Shi finally gets destroyed with a knock to the head.

The music used seemed pretty good for the most part too. Although the guitar loop used early on for when they were meeting Shi seemed a little unfitting. Could have used some dark sound piano tune instead.

The dialogue boxes could also maybe be done a little different since I noticed a lot of "..." used during some of them and in a couple of other dialogue boxes, the text stretches past the text box limit in the flash.

Overall, not too bad, could use a bit of improving though with how Shi looked.

SuperMarioFan9000 responds:

Your 1st review on mah episode 5.1 is just read. :3
Never thought of fitting music during moments and battles.. Hehhehe.


sonic robot thing,mario and luigi,explosions,it's everything i love yayz

SuperMarioFan9000 responds:

thanks for the review

needs work

the story line is lacking, the animation sucks, and seriously where did you learn grammer? because you need to go back a get a refund because your grammer sucks.

SuperMarioFan9000 responds:

Grammer? I think you meant Grammar! And I watched the full episode again, what are you talking about?