The Emperor's Pilot v2

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(i uploaded a previous version but damn, i forgot the preloader... and i wanted to delete it but i cant so there... sigh. two of these.)

before making them it's not a video comments, yes, it's not an animation/video..i just wanted to find out what could be done to improve the guitar work....i'm out of them ideas where i could find opinions, so what the heck. NG.

after reading the history of kamikazes during ww2, i decided to pen a song for all the airmen during the second world war, in the pacific theater, both the "red-balls" and the "big blues"...i thought, if Iron Maiden had "Aces High", i might as well have something for the other side of the world.

anyway, i've been working on this song for a month now, and i decided that instead of the original rock-ish tempo, i decided it might sound better with 3rd octaves and power metal riffing. forgive my shredding and lead skills, it was just this afternoon that i decided to place a bridge part in it. it still has no lyrics, bass lines and drum lines... but i think i'd like to know what improvements can be made regarding the guitar work..

also, forgive the horrible background sounds.... i have no money for a soundproof room, and egg cartons don't work too well....

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0 for giving me no stars on my last movie.

Regarding your difficulty

You were wanting to know how to delete the duplicate entry:

If you click "account" and go to "flash submissions" there should be something that says "Edit | Remove" underneath each. I don't know if this applies to ones that are under judgment, but if it passes you should be able to. I believe that exceptions to this rule are flash that have been placed in collections and/or have been featured on the front page.

If you are still unable, you can always PM Wade Fulp and request it be removed.

And as I said in my review of the previous iteration of this video, up on the navigation bar next to "Flash Portal" is a button that says "Audio Portal" which would be where I would submit audio files for critique.

RPRMT0054611 responds:

i already have submitted in the audio portal; i put it here for "exposure" purposes as i am still looking for new ideas i can incorporate into polishing this song..

Audio Portal

Go to the Audio Portal to submit music, this is the Flash Portal

There's much I like about the song.

The idea behind the song and what you were going for is awesome, and I liked it's structure a lot.

Mattresses or closets work significantly better for soundproofing on a budget, though I only noticed background noises right after the solo...of which, could use some tightening up, and the solo itself ended with, err, little finesse.

There also must've been something slightly off with the timing as you layered the different takes, because there's this weird staggard effect going on through MOST of the song. Where a split second after one strum, there's instantly another, so there's this weird copy-cat echo effect going on...it would overall SEEM much stronger if it was one punchy note...though I can empathize that would be difficult to do because of the song's tempo, it's what NEEDS to be done for the song to be better.

It needs bass. TASTEFUL bass, that's supporting the guitars, not mimicking them.

It needs drums. GREAT drums. None of that auto-tempo, machine drum crap either...somebody who knows what they're doing, or at least faking it enough to sound great...like In Flame's drummer, just doing the bare minimum of heavy (lol)

I guess it would need vocals, but not death metal growling/pig-squeeling/incoherent bullshit...it needs something powerful, with lyrics that tell the story of the fearless, dedicated pilot, honor bound to guide his machine to victory beyond death, devoted to his leader. If I were more confident in my singing ability, I would totally audition.

It's also in my firm opinion that the song needs to start off smoother...with class...KEEP the segment in the beginning as it's building, but start it off slower, with class...your music is telling a story. He's not launching in any particular hurry off of those wood-decked aircraft carriers...he has thoughts of his family back home...the serene beauty of Japan...the looming threat of American invasion onto that beauty...and DESPITE the fear, DESPITE the possibility of a fiery death, screaming through the skies in air overwhelmed with flak and bullets, he'll do what he needs to do...maybe, this one last time. Starting it off with beauty and grace would make this segment you have here MUCH, much more powerful.

Lastly, as I listen to this again, clean up and work on that solo. Make sure you don't have too much going on, and don't be afraid to sloooowww dowwwwnn the supportive riffs behind the solo, so it's not "JUNJUNNAJUNJUNNAJUNJUNJ-J-JUN" CONSTANTLY in the background. Break it up! Think of the emotions behind it. :D

Visually, we got nothing, and that admittedly hurt it's score. What saved it, actually, is moreso the song's potential. I think you're onto something here...it's just an early draft of something greater to come.

Fived to Save, you must perfect this!

RPRMT0054611 responds:

i'm copying and pasting your comment on my notebook. haha! your intro idea has much weight; i like it.

Credits & Info

1.00 / 5.00

Oct 12, 2011
8:17 AM EDT