Meh
The presentation is awful. You've got some good video editing skills, but zero taste in production. Nobody wants to watch a small embedded youtube player, and the score is an obvious reflection of that. I followed the link to see if maybe the player could be expanded, and found it could be on youtube, but not here. However, you didn't upload this in HD. In fact, I can't even get 480p with this, so it's straight standard definition and it looks terrible expanded anyway - let alone full screen. I'm not really sure why you would render this in SD at all. Not only that, but I guarantee the file size can't be that big. Not near as large as if you rendered this in high quality at least.
As far as the animation/video editing itself, it had a nice feel to it. I probably saw more text flash before my eyes than I've seen in any other video, period. The 'crazy text' effect started to get old really fast and you continued it throughout the entire length of the animation. The little girl was probably the best part about the animation, and I think you could have expanded upon that a bit. The whole video had a great theme to it and I think I understand what you're trying to convey pretty well.
The music was probably the best part about the piece. That track was really good, and it fit the animation amazingly. I was curious about who did the piece but I see you've failed to list it under the "Author and File Information." You're supposed to credit them though. I mean, you could have at least listed the work you put into this, what software you used to produce it, the file size, etc in the author comments.
I checked the comments out on youtube and you listed very little also. Doesn't look like you're a very big name on youtube either. Personally, I have over 20 times more subscribers than you do and my videos are all in Hi def, so you can take my advice or not, it's whatever, but if you want to improve and get some attention to these you should take my advice.
Overall I'd say the editing you've done here is decent, but like I said, a tiny standard definition video just doesn't look all that impressive.