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Primetime Primate PILOT

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I wrote this as an exercise to better my writing and character development skills.

Thanks for all the votes and reviews!

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Nice

Your animation quality is improving, but I hope your next one is better.

smirkstudios responds:

You'll be impressed with what I have coming up, I'm sure of it. If you barely liked this one at all, even for a second, you're going to love Episode 1.

Lol not bad.

I didn't ever realize you were a self taught animator and never actually wrote scripts. You definitely have some great videos just for improv and never having any schooling, or what not, in animating. As for this cartoon, I'd definitely say it'd be a great TV show. Considering you said this was improv the next episode should be freaking amazing next to this since you can actually reanalyze any jokes or lines. The references to other games made me laugh and I found it hilarious it was actually flour for a bake sale not cocaine. I also really enjoyed the two smaller apes. For some reason they reminded me of the little black kid that says "Otay" and his friend with the sideways hat from Little Rascals because they don't exactly know what they are doing and are real goofy. I'd love to see those two apes be a little more childish and be so oblivious to the big picture or their main goals and get sidetracked easy.

Anyway, great video and I hope everything goes well for you in the future. <=)

smirkstudios responds:

Wow, thanks for your kind words! You're totally right, the next episode has been fully written and recorded, and I'm working on animation right now, as well as writing the next episode after that. Expect better and better episode quality as the show progresses! Thanks again!

Great, but not yet Professional..

I enjoyed the writing of this cartoon a lot, and see a lot of potential for it to get picked up (with some talented animators and voice actors on board), but there are a few things I think would need to change. First of all, the references to pokemon and video games, while entirely acceptable in the NG community, would feel very out of place and somewhat childish (sorry, but true) as part of a real network show. Second, while the characters were all around funny (like the alcoholic lions), they all would need a bit more flushing out. I can't help comparing this heavily to Venture Bros. (like you mentioned in your post), and I think just as each VB character, regardless of significance or screen time (the monarch minions pair, etc) has a distinct humor-driven personality, I think each of your minor characters (the lions, even the sidekick monkey, especially his darker friend helping with the suitcase) needs to be more defined. If you, for yourself, were to write extensive character descriptions for each, and then had those more complex characters reflected in the dialogue, it would make the cartoon overall much funnier.

Best of luck getting a crew and getting the show picked up! I think you'll do great.

smirkstudios responds:

Wow, I must say... very nice review! One of the best I've seen!

You're right on just about everything. The Nintendo references, much like the characters and dialog, need to be sprinkled into the coming scripts with more taste and specifics in order to make it anywhere past NG.

As far as the characters go, believe this: This pilot was a test of only a handful of the characters that the actual series will premiere. I have re-written the character descriptions and individual hooks for them, and you will be very happy when Episode 1 of Primetime Primate debuts.

Thanks for the review!

Potential

The animation was pretty good characters could have been slightly better.
The sound, however, was off at times. it isnt that hard and you could probably looked online and figured out how to even out the voices.
The comedy was pretty good though. I liked the Nintendo references.
But keep it up. practice with different animating styles, maybe add a few more frames and make the movements a little smoother. I wish you luck.

smirkstudios responds:

Thank you for your review! I will research and do better next time, scout's honor!

Dude...

HA! I laughed my ass off! This is hillarious I'm excited for the series. 10/10 5-5. Great job! V65

smirkstudios responds:

Thanks a lot! I'm glad you like it! Expect much improvement in the next episode :D

Credits & Info

Views
10,313
Faves:
11
Votes
14
Score
3.37 / 5.00

Uploaded
Feb 12, 2010
5:27 PM EST
Format
video
flash