Yes, yes, my darling children! Your beady, little, cro-magnon eyes haven't deceived you! It IS I, Her Royal Highness Princess Laucherella! This is my first public appearance in weeks, so it's only natural for you to be wondering: "where has the great and magnanimous Laucherella been, and wherefore am I once again graced by her presence?"

Fear not, you lil goofballs, for I shall elucidate: I have been away because (since I love you) I have been writing the script for (drumroll please) a Cyberen Sillies MOVIE! I'm being serious. It's gonna be swell.

Honestly, I feel like crap today and I haven't even like eaten or slept in liek 2 days. I totally spaced and was sort of hit with a clusterfulp getting this together, but nothing supersedes my love for Newgrounds and all you little NGgers! Dontcha ever forget it, folks!

Anyways, before I say too much for your puny little minds to process, lets get on to what you came to see! That's right - Horsebitch! She's back and horsebitchier than ever, folks!

Jessica Anne "Horsebitch" Churney-Strickland is a deadly mercenary employed by the sinister Tennipples Industries. She's the leader of the dreaded Horsebitch Cavalry, the aptly named Mr. Dr. Prof. Steeley Tennipples's elite band of equestrian femmes fatales!

For years, Horsebitch has been following Cyberen Broyoshi - the bumbling antihero of the popular, "edutaining" animated series, The Cyberen Sillies - waiting for a moment to strike and kidnap poor Cyberen, so that his body can be harvested into a doomsday device for the maniacal Prof. Tennipples.

Along the way, however, something unexpected happened: Horsebitch fell in love with Cyberen! Now she plays the role of a voluptuous double-agent, constantly staying one gallop ahead of both Cyberen and her insidiously evil employer, with the help of Susie, her wise-cracking horse!

This is her story...

Episode 6: Come off your high, Horsebitch!

Jessica AKA Horsebitch, despite being a tender, young 16 years of age, has a long history of pill-popping and has actually been to rehab because of it! Yessiree Bob! She hasn't been since, but as long as she can still run her Cavalry without issue, its not a problem... Or is it?

When Horsebitch's inebriation results in the biggest cavalry massacre since the "Charge of the Light Brigade", the other survivors, all of whom are good friends of Horsebitch, hold an intervention and drag her big, white, flabby butt half a league, half a league, half a league to freakin' rehab!

Horsebitch leaves rehab a changed person, but will the Horsebitch Cavalry like Horsebitch without the drugs? I mean, she's bad enough when she's doped up! Get ready for the kind of fun and adventure only Princess Laucherella can deliver!

<3 <3 <3