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Chocolate Cake

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This is a fairly long animation of the poem "chocolate cake" for english at school, we all had to either film or animate an adaptation of the poem "chocolate cake". I know its not perfect, but it took me quite a long time to do, about 10 hours at home and 2 english lessons to complete. Thanks to soundsnap, my mum, and myself for the audio and sound effects. I jsut wanted to get some feedback on it before I show it at school on monday, and also I thogught it was good enough to submit here. Also, ive got a backup copy incase I forget my memory stick or something. Enjoy!

EDIT: I did not make up the storyline, we had to base it of of this poem: http://www.poemhunter.com /poem/chocolate-cake/ (copy and paste, remove the space!)

EDIT2: made the cake eating noise more realistic, masked the edges of stuff, split the limb joints up, and smoothed the joints in the walk cycle.

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...? Cawkwaffle :D

When the kid was standing in front of the cake and I heard those sounds, I almost half expected him to walk away except there would be white icing on the cake after he left XD.

andy70707 responds:

lol, I guess I really should change thoose sounds, I dont want everyone to burst out laughing when I show this in school.

Its a start, an interesting one

You have added sound, though, improving your animation skills and graphics should be your next step. For example, when he walked, he would walk one step back, probably to do with how you done it on the timeline. The graphics werent that great, though, practice will make it better over time. Another should be shaping the cake so its not as big as two heads put together, how the guy in the animation eat that I have no idea, I'll give him that. Sound and speech should match the animation, so, more dramatic, as the speech was a bit unclear in some parts.

It wasnt that good but it had an interesting and 'cute' plot, as Lazarou put it. 2/10.

andy70707 responds:

umm, that pretty much summs it up. Some parts I really CBA to animate, like them eating. I didnt really think about the size of stuff, but its not the worst thing.


It wasn't as bad as people are making out.

The main problem is that the poem it is based on is really bad.

I think considering the plot you had to work with was pretty cruddy, you did a fairly decent job.

things to note for future reference:
-Whilst it is easier to animate people made of geometric shapes, they look incredibly fake. Try to soften the shapes, if in doubt trace around a photo and then break it into seperate MCs to animate each joint.

-The sound effect of eating the cake sounded a little bit like, well, something very rude. Some more obvious chomping and scoffing noises would be better than the current slimy, sloppy noise you have.

Keep up the hard work, its obvious that your knowledge of flash is increasing with each movie you make.

andy70707 responds:

thanks, I still have another day, so I might get rid of the outlines around the joints in the people and soften them up, like you said.



andy70707 responds:

lol, I knew it was only a matter of time...


Unimaginative, sloppy, dull, boring, and not funny at all

andy70707 responds:

it was from the poem chocolate cake: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/chocol ate-cake/