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The day I became an Angel

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Author Comments

Okay hi guys >.<, it's my first time here~. And it's about my third or fourth time playing with Flash only... I hope this is good enough even for a first submission on NG :(.


I just got to know about Flash recently and really liked it. But my skills still sucked >.>. I don't know anything about those complicated Flash scripts thinggie >.>. But I hope that by submitting my works here and being around, you guys would help me improve my skills >.<. I would love to receive comments, no matter how harsh or heart-breaking they may be :(, if they help me improve. So please take some time to comment and give the clueless girl a helping hand, will you :D?


About this submission... It's a story about a demon and an angel. The demon had done some bad things and had to become a demon, a hated and ignored being. He became cold, emotionless, his heart stopped beating. All he needs is a little light, so he waited and waited, until one day... Watch to find out xD.


Sorry the voice quality is bad. My stupid headphone is so useless >.>. Both voices were done by me xD. Sorry if my voice gives you goosebumps, it did give me goosebumps you know >.>. And sorry for my weird accent; I'm Asian and English isn't my first language ^^;;.


Okay I think it's enough babbling... So, happy Lunar New Year to all my Asian pals! Xin nian kuai le! xDDD Hope you guys enjoy a first submission of a newbie in both flash and NG! <3


EDIT: Okay so the replay button doesn't work >"<. I promise I will fix it soon... when I know how to D:

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kind of cute, huge potential

I didn't mind the audio quality -too- much, considering you put subtitles. There was only one grammatically awkward part, so your English really isn't terrible at all.

As for the voices, the demon's voice annoyed me. It's my own personal preference, but I just didn't like it. In general, you were almost monotonous with the voice acting. You could liven things up. Even if you're "depressed", try not to make it sound like you're reading a script.

There were no spelling errors I noticed, which is a huge bonus.

Your artwork was cute. I assume you're using a tablet. There's not a lot of movement though, in regards to animation. It's very static.

The story itself is a little too childish in my opinion. I'm not saying that loneliness is something people should get over, but because you dropped us off into the story, there was no real emotional connection to the demon. It needs more details, more background, more dialogue.

All in all, for your 3rd/4th flash animation, this was a great job. If I may suggest, since English isn't your first language, you can always try speaking in your native language, with subtitles. This can also give you more characters, if trying to change your voice hurts.

Linhtan responds:

Hmmm I guess I'll go for my first language next time, because I believe trying to speak English makes my voice monotonous :(. I did use a tablet xD. Thanks for the advice and comment ne <3

My whole reveiw:

Graphics: 9/10
Amazing graphic for a first-timer on NG. I felt like you were familiar with Flash.
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Story: 8/10
The whole "emo" thing seems overdone, but you did take a somewhat new take on it. Kudos.
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Voice: 7/10
Hint: If you do voicings again, get a better mic, or don't speak so directly into it. It was very static-y and often faded in and out.
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Re-watch value: Medium
Many of the "emo" stories are the same, and very few of them can bring it to a whole new level. You are almost there, but not yet. Work a little more on the graphics to bring it to pro-level. You have talent, but you must make the raw material into gold.
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Overall: 8/10
It's a good flash, and I wouldn't be surprised if it makes the Daily Features. Just work on your graphics and get a better mic.
Otherwise, amazing job!

P.S. There are many flash tutorials on NG, look for em. Many of them are really helpful.

Linhtan responds:

Waaah thank you so much for the long and helpful review <3. I've been playing around with Flash for a while but nothing really came out until this xD. Thanks a lot , I'll try harder next time :D

Nice

So this was your first submission i read..
Wow, i'm impressed to see a first-submitted movie being this good.

The voice-acting wasn't that bad actually =O
Keep it up, i hope to see more of you ^^

Good flash, voice acting needs work.

The art was very well done, all in all. But the voice acting on this was, I must admit, terrible. I was surprised to read afterwards you did both voices. But I could tell you were going through the lines in a sing-song voice. I would have suggested you sing it straight or try to find a friend to. Again, the art, theme, story was great, but over shadowed by audio flaws.

Linhtan responds:

Thanks for the comment <3. Everyone has been telling me that the voice acting is terrible xD. I don't think I can do anything to fix this, but I'll try to improve on my next submissions xD.

interesting..

i gotta admit, at first i did not read your description and just decided to watch the movie, and all due respect to those individuals, but i thought this movie was about being a lesbian XD
but seriously, it's not too bad, especially for not using flash long, you are a pretty decent artist.. the only huge problem was the voice quality.. like FoyvenMaven stated: "The voices were hard to understand, sometimes annoying and usually overpowered by the music."
other than that though, not bad!

Linhtan responds:

Hey the demon was male you know xD. Thanks for the review :D :D :D I'll improve my voice quality next time ^___^

Credits & Info

Views
5,766
Faves:
6
Votes
2
Score
3.12 / 5.00

Uploaded
Jan 27, 2009
8:34 AM EST
Genre
Drama