Very unique story
Author Comments
OK, a movie I made in my early days, by me alone. I submitted it unedited from the original, because old Flashes have a charm...
Because of the age (and my age at the time) I don´t expect much. But I thought it would be better off here rather than rotting on my HDD.
Check your sound settings and prepare for Sam!
Yours sincearly, Legopelle.
Needs work.
The spelling and grammer in pretty bad. The voice is terribly annoying. The storyline has potential though. At this point though, I really wasn't very entertained.
And how could your flash be that old? It has Metroid Prime 3 music in it! That was a year and a half ago, and this flash had to have been made after that. Therefore, this flash is less than a year and a half old. Since it takes a while for the music to become available, the flash is most likely less than a year old, or close to a year. So where do you get off saying that the flash is so old? Sounds like you're making excuses to me.
So use spell check, correct grammer, and try writing with sentences that actually make sense when spoken. And get a real voice! I'd also suggest less text and more animation. This is a flash, not a book.
legopelle responds:
You have a point, but when I have only used Flash for about 20 months, a year can yield extensive improvements though.
I know it is an annoying voice, Microsoft Sam are notorius for it. But in recent months I have come across more quality voices. I tend to them first of all for not having to hear my own voice, and needing to buy a (expensive) microphone (by empiric data I have concluded that low quality sound kills good flash).
For the grammar, the only thing I can say is that I am not a native english speaker.
Best of luck!
lol, nice grammar
If you're entire video is going to be text, make it sound better, get rid of some words that aren't needed, especially at the beginning of sentences.